AIBU about the bin??

[Asdfghjkl1234]

I live with my fiancé and we don’t have children yet, we both work full time but as my work is much closer I leave later in the morning and get back earlier at night so I do the majority of the housework, his only job is the bins (I really hate bins, obviously I will do them but given a choice I’d rather not so he said that would be his thing). The problem is he just never remembers to do them, if I remind him he says that he will in a minute but just doesn’t, I end up feeling like I’m nagging, but then when I eventually just give in and do them, he says there’s no need to be passive aggressive! On the odd occasion he does empty a bin, it’s only ever the kitchen one, never the bathroom, lounge or bedroom bins. Am I being unreasonable to be getting a bit annoyed about this? It’s literally just one job I don’t really see why he can’t just do it?

He won't change. Does he do nothing else in the house?!

Time to start bin jenga. DO NOT EMPTY THEM. Eventually, he won't be able to fit anything in and he will need to do it.

Hold your nerve and do not empty them. Put your rubbish outside separately if you need to but don't empty the bins.

Don’t t have children with a man who can’t pull his weight. Actually don’t marry a man who you can’t negotiate with.
No , yanbu. Sit him down and afl him if he thinks he’s ready for all this. Lay your cards on the table and say what you need. If your short commute gives you an extra hour st home, work out how much you feel is right for him to do, make a rota and stick to it.
Imagine life with no sleep and massive responsibility, do you still want him to be worming his way out of adultung?
Sorry to sound harsh, but you need to find out now if he’s even willing to go this.

The main issue here is that he has one job to do, and he can’t even be arsed to do that - you need to nip this in the bud now before you have children and have to do everything there as well.

One thing though - do you REALLY need so many different bins? We only have buns in the bathroom and kitchen, and it’s so much easier to empty them once a week rather than going round looking for them all dotted around the house.

It’s much less hassle to occasionally have to walk to the kitchen to throw things away, honestly!

(But mainly your Dfiance needs to sort his act out)

Bin Jenga! Like that episode of the Simpsons where they keep piling it up!

I agree, I wouldn't empty them nor mention it, I'd just let it keep piling up.

Don’t marry or have kids with this lazy arse.

Dyrne I hadn’t thought about that being a high number of bins but I guess it is 😂 because we only live in a flat it doesn’t really take me loads of effort to do the jobs, like maybe half an hour in the morning, an hour in the evening to keep everything tidy so I never really saw it as a problem but I suppose if and when we’re in a house it’s going to take a fair bit more than that isn’t it 😂 I just feel like I’m constantly ‘having a quick word’ and getting nowhere

My two sons are in charge of bins in the kitchen, one does recycling and the other does the main kitchen bin. They are emptied on 2 set days, one of which is the bin collection day and each child is responsible for the corresponding wheelie bin, puts it out and brings it back in.

Each child started when they were 11 years old. He can even open a new bin liner and put it in the bin. So the fact that your partner can't speak volumes. It says, it is your job, this is beneath me and I know she will do it.

Get him to set a weekly reminder on his phone for the time he leaves for work. My children empty them as they leave the house for secondary school in the morning. That way even if it is raining they are still heading out anyway.

Bear in mind this is the best it's going to get. You already do the majority of the housework even though you work the same amount of hours. Does he ever say hey asd you're always doing all the housework, sit down and let me do it today so it's a bit more fair. I suspect not. Do you really want to be his 'mother' having to nag him to do the one job he's actually responsible for? You might want to consider how this sort of behaviour feels after several years of marriage and no change. You are not in charge of the housework and bins just by virtue of being a woman.

You need to stop 'having a quick word', because it's not achieving anything. If he's responsible for the bins, let him be responsible for the bins. Do not mention the bins, do not touch the bins, do not empty the bins. Ignore the bins.

You need to shift the dynamic dramatically. Maybe make Saturday morning the day for all housework. You are setting yourself up for a lifetime of drudgery and mental load, which won't change when your hours change.

Find something productive to do with the time (grocery shopping? Cooking? Exercise?)
Leave household chores until you can do them together.

Tell him to OWN the job. Make him put a reminder in his phone, so that his phone can nag him, and not you.. and whatever else you do, don't do the bins!!!.

He's an adult, and he doesn't live with his mum anymore.