AIBU to be irritated that MIL always calls DH when I'm in the middle of making dinner?

[OnAScaleOf1to10ItsA7]

DH gets home around 5.30 and we start making dinner together. We have small kids and the evenings are always a bit chaotic with dinner, bath, stories, bed, etc.

Without fail MIL always calls when we're in the middle of dinner prep. Of course DH then takes the call and I end up doing everything myself while he flaps on to his mum. She facetimes, so she can see I'm up to my eyes in it in the background, but she never twigs. I'm also expected to stop what I'm doing and have a proper chat with her, while the DCs get hungrier and more fractious in the background.

I'm thinking that next time she calls, I should just down tools and wait until the call is over. It would mean I don't end up doing everything myself but ultimately the DCs will miss out by being made to wait.

It really annoys me so much! I've asked DH to speak to her at a different time but he gets all defensive and over emotional about it

Just tell him not to answer. How frequently does she call?

It's not unreasonable to ask him to organise a more convenient time for her calls, For example a time when both of you and the kids perhaps, are able to sit down and participate. This would bug the fuck out of me.

Turn off wifi between 5 and 6.30, or just stop cooking when she calls and go and sit down. A few ruined dinners and he'll get the message.

Surely it's not every night?

Once in a while would be fine though

Answer the call yourself and say we will call you back in 45 minutes. Do it every day until she starts waiting until the later time to call. YANBU but it's simple to fix.

The problem is surely your DH answering the call when you are both dealing with dinner etc. What does he need to speak to her at 5.30 every evening?

There's no law that says you have to answer the phone. If it's not convenient, just don't answer it.

he gets all defensive and over emotional there's your problem. What the fuck?!

Your husband sounds odd. Emotional? Really? Over asking his mum to call at a different time?!

How often does she ring?

Why can't you chat whilst cooking? I regularly speak to my mum on speakerphone whilst cooking.

Have you told anyone that it's a problem, or are you waiting on them to notice, getting angrier and angrier as your plight is ignored? Just tell mil to call later, and tell dh he needs to arrange and enforce this.

If he always answers and has a conversation with her, how is she supposed to know it isn't a good time? The problem is your DH being weird about it, not your MIL.

Tell him not to answer the bloody phone!?

Why the hell would you plan to leave your children hungry and annoyed to teach her or DH some sort of lesson?! Just bloody grow a pair of balls and ask her to call later or earlier. Very simple.

If he wants to answer the phone at that time, I'd make a lovely brew so that you can chat too!
(Give the kids a bigger snack so they're not desperate)

You don't have a MIL problem, you have a DH problem. Has he actually told her it's an inconvenient time?

I can't understand why you think this is your MIL's problem! I've honestly no idea why women are so often scapegoated for things that people can't possibly expect a delicate man to deal with.

Tell him to let her know it's not convenient, or just say yourself when she wants to talk to you

Does your DH agree that it's an inconvenient though or is it just you that thinks so? Cooking dinner whilst keeping an eye on the kids can be done by one person usually.

Wait till you both start making dinner then suddenly remember someone you need to call. Take half an hour. Repeat the next night, and the next until he gets the message.

Why are you both pussy-footing around re the phone calls? Tell DH not to take any calls till after 7pm, including from his mother, and stop making it such an issue.

You have a DH problem. Ask him to tell his mum he'll call her at a more convenient time for all of you.

i don't get the 'emotional thing' what does he do, get upset / cry / angry ? how often does she phone ?

I feel your pain.

I get the rage because when MIL rings, she rings immediately after 7.00pm. The Archers starts at 7.02, and I keep missing it because of DP droning on to MIL!

I've asked him to ask her to leave it till 7.15, but he thinks it's rude.

LOL, my grandfather always rang when we were eating dinner when I was growing up!