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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I'm going to lose my DD because...(lighthearted)

25 replies

OhNoOhNoHaha · 20/12/2018 18:00

...I was seen in a cafe eating with a friend.

According to Ex-Husband who had his monthly contact with our DD at the time and saw me when he took her to the supermarket for sweets says this is the end of the line for me and proves I can't put DD first...

This is the 3 year old who I have basically been singlehandedly riasing for almost a year now after he took me to court and was given 3 hours a month with her.

This is the 3 year old who grew out of all her clothes 4 weeks before Christmas and needed a whole new wardrobe which I happily bought...

This is the 3 year old whom I spend £130 on every 12 weeks on swimming lessons...

This is the 3 year old who attends Nursery 3 days a week and is described as a delight...

This is the 3 year old who was taken to see Santa a few weeks ago and treated to a cake at the same time...

So yes I am definitely going to lose her because I decided to spend £5 and my only child free time in a cafe with a friend.

OP posts:

SoyDora · 20/12/2018 18:01

What should you have been doing with that time instead, in his opinion?

Mumof1DS · 20/12/2018 18:03

What was he expecting you to do during his contact time??

Santaispackinghissleigh · 20/12/2018 18:04

According to my exh I was a prostitute when we split up and he should have gotten full residency of the dc!!
Funny how dc are nc with him now the twisted fucker!

Posthistoricmonsters · 20/12/2018 18:05

I'm guessing he was this ridiculous and controlling when you were together? Did he try to prevent you seeing friends?

What a cockwomble.

Original poster

OhNoOhNoHaha · 20/12/2018 18:09

Yes he was ridiculous and controlling when we were together. He tried to stop me seeing a friend when I'd arranged my mum to have her in case DD got attached to my mum

I think he expects me to sit at home and not be seen out and about in public for those 3 hours.

OP posts:

MooPointCowsOpinion · 20/12/2018 18:10

Just shows your freedom is getting to him, keep doing it, go further, have TWO coffees!

MountPheasant · 20/12/2018 18:11

I’m so confused....why does it prove you can’t put your DD first?!? She wasn’t even home! What was his reasoning?

Mrskeats · 20/12/2018 18:11

If he’s contacting you by phone block his number
Keep any screenshots of messages as proof of his ridiculous behaviour
Email only

LeafCutterAnt · 20/12/2018 18:13

Bonkers. Especially as he only sees her once a month and is useless by the sound of it. Sounds like jealousy if it's a male friend and bonkersness if not.

Pandamodium · 20/12/2018 18:13

I am also a prostitute and drug addict

I'm actually married teetotal and super boring.

The fuckers don't like us moving on with our lives at all.

Asmallrole · 20/12/2018 18:14

They're great arent they ?! What a complete idiot. Do not engage with him. Twat.

Original poster

OhNoOhNoHaha · 20/12/2018 18:15

If he’s contacting you by phone block his number

Oh no that would mean that he could text me and say I don't reply. No he says all this to me on the doorstep when I pick DD up.

OP posts:

BlueJava · 20/12/2018 18:17

Well you never know... that first latte could be the first step on a very slippery slope OP! Maybe you might stoop to having a mince pie, or even chocolate. Shocking. I do hope you could walk straight afterwards, cappuchino's can have funny effects.

Original poster

OhNoOhNoHaha · 20/12/2018 18:19

cappuchino's can have funny effects.

OP posts:

AlpacaPicnic · 20/12/2018 18:19

A cafe? A public cafe?! You child-endangering harlot...

I hope you laughed in his pathetic face then thanked your lucky stars that he's now an ex!

FascinatingCarrot · 20/12/2018 18:23

You need to record this kind of nasty shit when he comes to collect her.
Freak of a 'father'

Mrskeats · 20/12/2018 19:02

Then I would not alllow pick ups at your home.
He sounds a charmer: a least you are rid of him.

Pandamodium · 21/12/2018 03:53

It's well known cafes lead to crack cocaine.

I forgot I'm also a terrible mother cos I have my nails done. I wouldn't care I receive zero maintenance and my DH pays for my nails.

Letsmoveondude · 21/12/2018 04:02

Oh I see, Saturday afternoon in a cafe with coffee and cake is the new Friday night smashed on the high street?

On the upside. You'll have entertainment like this for years to come. Learn to laugh at it because it won't stop.

Doobee · 21/12/2018 04:37

What a weirdo. On a serious note, should he be having any contact at all if he’s saying bizarre stuff like this? Worth recording all contact? Read up on parental alienation.

Frogletmamma · 21/12/2018 04:45

I would get a black forest gateaux latte with cream and sprinkles. Then send him the picture.

LonelyandTiredandLow · 21/12/2018 04:58

I hope your friend was make . Ex told me that no man would ever want to be friends with me as apparently all men just want to "bang" me so it was for my protection I couldn't have any male friends - he trusted me but not THEM. They don't half make up some bullshit to cover their jealously, don't they . On a side note, just be careful what he says in earshot of dd as she gets older. They tend to drop things like that into "conversations" if my friends ex is anything to go by. I'm lucky in a way as my charmer ex hasn't seen dd since she was a baby.

Stephisaur · 21/12/2018 05:00

Did you hurt your eyes when you rolled them so hard?

What did he expect you to do for 3 hours? Pillock.

moolady1977 · 21/12/2018 05:03

Coffee and cake is just the start of it, I'm just glad that mine are older and can arrange things without the stbxh having to be involved (dc live with him) I've heard it all from him, I deliberately had an allergic reaction so I didn't have to go work to pay him maintenance (ended up in hospital) I was seen having lunch with one of my oldest friends (female) and was drunk, I've also had the prostitute comment which was probably one of the better things he called me, I had the nerve to book a holiday for the dc and not invite him and also had the cheek to book a weekend away (when not seeing kids) and not ask him if I could go, they are a few of the things he has come out with since we split up. Personally I'd have had a huge hot chocolate with cream and sprinkles and a big chocolate cake and sent him a pic

Pandamodium · 21/12/2018 07:48

Ex-p once have me maintenance (when he payed me an incredibly generous £20 a month ) as an Asda voucher. As he quote "wasn't paying for my false nails"

My nail artist who is a friend took it as part payment and we put a photo on Facebook. I did try at being mature but you can't argue with batshit.

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