Do you care what colour hair your midwife has?

[Purplekaz08]

I have seen on the news that a midwife is Lincoln has been told not to go to work and may lose her job because her hair is dyed red? AIBU to think this trust is out of touch with the modern world? I really would not care if a midwife or nurse had rainbow coloured hair as long as they were kind and competent?

For some people their hair is an integral part of who they are and to take it away from them makes them miserable and lacking in confidence.

I'm going to foreshadow this next but with not everyone who has brightly coloured hair has mental illness but a disproportionate number of people who come into the salon for fashion colours suffer social anxiety and/or depression and their hair helps them feel more confident and able to cope.

I don't understand it but it's what I've observed. My sister and daughter both have severe social anxiety and brightly coloured hair. DD is at school so makes do with white-blonde/silver hair during the week and changes it with coloured conditioners and semi-perm colours on weekends and holidays. The change in her ability to cope with bright hair compared to blonde is notable.

While I'm not wedded to my purple hair in the same way my sister and DD are to their bright hair I would be peeved if my employer suddenly decided it wasn't allowed. If they didn't offer a compromise such as wearing a hat or wig I would probably grudgingly cover it with a dark semi and start looking for a new job.

I suit my purple hair, I like my purple hair. It boosts my confidence. I don't think I would be as miserable as DD and my sister without it but I wouldn't feel like me and my confidence would take a knock.

I would bet most people who think coloured hair is unprofessional are over child-bearing age, which is in fact relevant here.

Did you mean to be so rude?

We dried up old crones may have been ground-breaking punks, you know, through the late 70s/80s my hair was every colour under the sun at different times.

I would bet most people who think coloured hair is unprofessional are over child-bearing age, which is in fact relevant here.

Bloody cheek!

Absolutely right LakieLady. I had my 70th birthday last month and as I said in my pp, when I had my babies, back in the eighties, I wouldn't have cared what colour hair the midwife had.

Us wrung out, and if I may use your expression LakieLadie, 'dried up old crones' aren't all judgmental miserable old sods you know. Some of us lived through the sixties and seventies and, trust me, we were pretty 'out there' and full on in our day.

I love the way some posters on MN love to stereotype people. It's such a lazy way to try to make a point.

No.

If someone was unclean yes. Otherwise I couldn’t care.

Some of the most professional people I’ve worked with had unusual dress sense or hair etc.

In labour I probably wouldn't have noticed if my midwife was dressed as thr Cookie Monster.

Maisypops the midwife in question isn’t throwing a teenage type strop. She had red hair when recruited and has had red hair for 30 years. The rules have been arbitrarily changed.

Quite frankly these outdated and unnecessary traditions should be consigned to where they they belong and that in the bin.

It's also a trust which is geographically isolated and struggled to attract staff even before this. If I was job hunting even with boring hair I'd think twice before choosing to work for such small minded, unsupportive bosses.

The midwife isn't the only one. There's a nurse in the same boat. Same trust. Suprised she hasn't come forward yet. Another nurse left and went to work for a neighbouring trust rather than dye her hair. Trust has something like 400 nurse vacancies.

The only hair I cared about was mine as I hadn't managed to shave down there for months
As soon as contractions ramped up I did not care about it, let alone anyone else's appearance

@stevie69 how do you get those done! Love love

I am struggling to think of anything that I cared less about when giving birth than the colour of my midwife’s hair.
The doctor who probably saved DD’s life by inserting an emergency cervical suture without breaking my bulging waters when I was 23 weeks pregnant had 2 full sleeves and a plaited pink beard. Obviously I put in a complaint about his unprofessional appearance

Imissgmichael
I'm not disputing her ability and have said I personally wouldn't care.

I also didn't say she was throwing a strop. I just find all the cries of 'but what difference...' remind me of teenagers being stroppy over a rule they don't like.

The trust may be being foolish bringing in the rule (and given their situation I would say it is foolish), but that's for them to make that decision. If a workplace bring in a rule then it's up to people to decide what they want to do

Maisy if a trust brings in a stupid rule then employees should challenge it by refusing to comply. It 2018 not 1818.

For example, my DH works for the NHS and pays monthly for parking on site. However management has decided to severely restrict access to parking (can’t say to much as to revealing). They’ve told employees to park off site if no spaces.

A number of staff had said no, they aren’t prepared to park off site and will sit in their car until a space becomes available. A significant number of front line staff are doing the same and are starting work late.

This is a hospital with poor retention of staff and vacancies remaining unfilled. Not a good management decision is it.

When I was in labour I couldn't have given two f*cks how many heads the midwife had, let alone what the colour of the hair on those heads was.

Workplaces which are public sector and funded by public money should not be allowed to bring in such batshit rules. (Neither should private sector too but I think this particularly applies when there is an impact on public welfare). NHS Trusts have to answer to higher powers; it’s not just up to them to make such decisions.

I too would be impressed by a midwife who had the balls to stand up to such nonsense. Trusts underestimate frontline staff at their peril. Staff are not disobedient teenagers and should not be treated as such. It is frankly insulting to the huge responsibility placed on them. I am also really uncomfortable with the idea that we should be saying how HCPs and other staff should dress to fit in with public perception of what a (usually female) midwife ‘should’ look like.

Well said ToStressy. I was thinking about posting a similar post but now I don’t have to. I will add however that that thus idea that public sector staff are public property has to end.

I don't mind strange coloured hair. However, my contract actually states rules about hair, clothes, hygiene, appearance. Some employers like to set a standard. The problem is when people start to bend the rules too far. Example I worked for a company that had a rule about no pets. Someone had a pet fish. Most people agreed that the fish was ok. However, I said that I would not be comfortable working next to a pet tarantula ! The rules are normally there for a reason

Maisy if a trust brings in a stupid rule then employees should challenge it by refusing to comply. It 2018 not 1818
Yes it's 2018 where the increasing view is 'but I don't like X so I'll not do it'. Given how many parents seem to be telling their children rules are optional if they don't like them, I'm not surprised adults are advocating this approach in the workplace. (I see it at work as well on other issues. Person A doesn't like X so decides they'll just not bother. It's a very childish mindset to me).

Part of professionalism is challenging things appropriately if you have an issue.

I think the trust is being a bit foolish in their choice to make the change, but it is their right to do so and I find the 'just refuse' approach to be a bizarre one.

My midwife had the most amazing blue and purple cornrows. I was out of it on pethidine for most of the time, but I remember that!

lannie
One of my friends has beautiful dark brown fade to neon pink and her trust are fine with it. It looks amazing.

I fancy having something similar from time to time but it's not worth it in schools and I'm not wedded to the idea of arguing over hair.

Of course your right Maisy because NHS employees are children and should be treated as such.

My DH should pay for parking he isnt receiving, park miles away in a very rough area, invalidating his car insurance, add extra to his work day and walking through a very unsafe area in the dark. Added to that he should continue to escort female colleagues to their car because it just isn’t safe.

You will probably think it isn’t relevant to the hair colour rule but it is. It’s indicitive if how badly treated NHS are treated.

Totally agree Imiss. Unfortunately the unions usually have no teeth so things often don’t change.

My DH should pay for parking he isnt receiving, park miles away in a very rough area, invalidating his car insurance, add extra to his work day and walking through a very unsafe area in the dark. Added to that he should continue to escort female colleagues to their car because it just isn’t safe.
Except I haven't said any of that.

I've said there are ways to challenge things and just going 'I don't like it so I'm refusing' isn't the way to do it. It's not about treating people like children, it's about saying adults (theoretically) should be able to manage in the workplace without refusing any rule they don't like.

Standard MN - suggest raising issues and complaining in appropriate ways and people will inevitably claim you're telling people to passively accept a situation.