to be annoyed by SIL

[PedroTheCowboyLostHisGlasses]

NC because dont want everything I say connecting up.
For xmas and birthdays my Sil tells us what to get her, if you don't get her what she wants she gets all huffy. She spends alot less on me and my DH in return, doesn't ask us what we want and we mostly get tat we don't want. She will sometimes get gifts for other people (like DH's step mum or gran) and she will then demand 1/3 of the money
from my DH and BIL. This would be okay but she doesn't consult DH beforehand if we want to go in on a present together. She has even damanded we stop what we are doing and go to meet her. If you dont't go to a family gathering (even an aunts birthday breakfast a 2 hour commute away) she will demand to know why you havn't/ arn't attending. We told her we were not telling anyone when I was in labour and she got all huffy infront of us.

But the thing that pisses me off the most and I can't seem to forgive and forget is that a week after having my DC she came to the house, didnt ask how I was, she just posed for pictures with my baby and got DH to take the pictures. Then she put them on facebook when we had no pictures of DC on facebook and didn't inteed to put any up either. This really bothers me because I didn't/ no one took any pictures of me with my baby for the first few weeks (granted I looked like a train had hit me) so I feel as if she has stolen the moment from me.
I know AIBU but I can't seem to get over this.
AIBU to be annoyed by her behaviour. especially the other stuff?

I have never feared being disliked by in laws. Tell her to fuck off being such a brat because she's ruining things for other people. If people fall out with you- so be it!! Your dh needs to back you up though and stop being such a pussy

7 am getting everyone up?? She sounds like she needs sectioning ..she is obviously not playing with a full deck...does she have mental health issues undiagnosed??

DH may need therapy. Many people in similar situations have guilt buttons installed.

You may need to point out to him that SIL is damaging YOU. If your budget can't afford the gifts she's asking for or demanding money for, that's food out of your baby's mouth, for example.

You can point out to him that there's nothing she can do. She can't spank him. She can't MAKE him do what she wants. If she calls and throws a fit he can hang up. If she comes over and throws a fit he can call the police on her. If she meets him in public and throws a fit he can walk away.

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe probably a personality disorder somewhere between entitled brat and narcissism

I am really sorry you are dealing with this shit ..Can;t you just refuse to go and stop having anything to do with them if MIL and everyone else panders to her? You really honestly dont need the hassle.

As someone who has personality disorders, I would agree it sounds like she has one/some.

She has no control over you, OP -you are handing her control. She's a CF and and utter cunt, and instead of ignoring her or telling her no, you're handing her control.

DEFINITELY do NOT let her know how much she winds you up. Chances are 50/50 she knows she's being a cunt and therefore thrives on knowing you're affected.

Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe
posthistoricmonsters
Thanks, just need to try to get DH to stop pandering to her

For Christmas I have only spend 2 pounds 50 pence on her by getting something that was really reduced, something she won't want, so I feel quite good about that.

“She isn’t ever going to change. You have to change how you deal
with her”

This. With bells on.