To consider making an official complaint?

[TinkerSpy]

I really don't know if AIBU or not.

Two weeks' ago I saw a gynecologist because of my painful, heavy periods. My period pain is so bad, I often vomit. I can't work as I have to take 4 sick days every month. Painkillers barely touch it. I lose so much blood I become anemic if I don't take iron tablets. I have to sit on thick towels where ever I am as I flood through.

The gynecologist asked me if I'd had any children, I replied no, I haven't (though currently TTC). She then replied "Well, women find once they've been through the pain of childbirth, they no longer complain about their periods."

She also point blank refused to look at my (short) list of symptoms that I'd written down so I didn't forget to mention anything. She cut me off repeatedly when I tried to answer her questions (I was trying to be short, factual and precise, I didn't ramble on).

She did eventually agree to refer me for an ultrasound after I found some courage (I'm VERY shy) and insisted, but she made it clear she was certain it was a waste of time and it was only for my 'peace of mind'.

AIBU to complain about her comment, as I feel very belittled by her comment about pain/childbirth? Or does she have a point and I'm being too sensitive?

Please complain. Doctors need to start realising that this type of behaviour and comments are not OK. This is medical gaslighting and it's disgusting and abusive. It happens to everyone but women more than men. It needs to stop and will only happen if every woman complains each and every time it happens. I'm appalled by those comments.

It is NOT normal to have periods so heavy and painful you are unable to work. It is absolutely ridiculous to think otherwise. An ultrasound may not show anything. You are likely to need a laparoscopy.

Good luck. Don't stop fighting and pushing for the investigations and treatment you need.

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/www.theatlantic.com/amp/article/567149/

Well the pain from child birth is a load of bollocks.

2 dc and only had one contraction as I had an epidural both times.

Some women don’t have pain in childbirth.

Whilst I personally agree that childbirth seemed to sort my period pain out (and I mean that it went, not that my perception of pain was different) my periods are far heavier so I wouldn't envy you that if they are so bad now.

Her whole attitude is worth complaining about TBH, not that comment. Dismissive, rude and really ignoring the problem. I would expect more from a woman really insofar as I would expect her to understand more than a male doctor.

I have Endometriosis. Your description of symptoms including the throwing up, are the same as me.

I have two DC and have lost 3. So I know about labour, childbirth, and period pain caused by endo.

I describe my endo pains as like when I was labouring in my back with my first child. That is literally the only good thing to have come out of being pregnant, except my kids themselves, is my ability to describe the endo better.

I was scheduled to have a hysterectomy on Jan but I couldn't lose enough weight for them to do the op. Prior to that I was put into chemical menopause but that's not an option if you are TTC.

One of the consultants I saw last year, actually suggested I got pregnant to ease the pain.

Yes. He said that. Despite my medical notes explaining a) I'm sterilised, b) I'm chronically ill, and was also then a single parent.

Oh boy, did I leave that appointment feeling both upset because even if I wasn't sterile it's impossible for me to have more kids with my needing as much care as I do. How irresponsible.

I had similar problems, i had heavy debilitating periods from the age of 22 onwards. I finally got a mirena coil in 2004 when i was 29 and that held the periods at bay for a long time.

A couple of years ago it seemed to stop working and after lobbying hard with my GP i got a gynae referral which eventually uncovered a large fibroid which was displacing the mirena. I had a hysteroscopic resection of my endometrium last month which seems to have worked. It was only after 40 that they seemed to take me seriously, i'd push hard if i were you!

Definitely complain, that's disgusting! Clearly hasn't experienced really bad period pains before

Reminds me of when my friend saw the GP because she was feeling really down and his advice was "try to remember that people are worse off than you"!?

I would definitely make a complaint, that's awful. Hope your painful periods get sorted soon, they're horrible

Fucks sake and I thought gp's were bad! Absolutely no excuse for this.

I have endo and it sounds like endo to me which can only be definitively diagnosed by lap.

"Obviously labour contractions are probably going to be worse than a period" not necessarily when there's a medical condition affecting:

I also have been through 28 hour labour with no pain relief - my periods were definitely worse, I was actually really worried labour would be awful as I expected it to be worse than periods. Actually it was mostly akin to the pain I get with ovulation with maybe a side order of trapped wind in comparison to periods. Also periods were kept at bay by bf at first but when they returned they were worse than pre-dd, first one post dd I collapsed and was bleeding so heavily my then husband didn't hesitate to call an ambulance. I was admitted to hospital, the endo treated with iv drugs to basically just stop the period altogether, I was dehydrated and anaemic.

I would complain yes and ask to see another gynae preferably one who specialises in endo.

She sounds incompetent too! GP could put you on pill if that were all that was needed that wouldn't require a gynae referral.

I may get flamed for saying this but I'd also say don't ttc until this is resolved. I lost 3 babies before getting a dx and one was ectopic. Women with endo are 3-4 times at more risk of ectopic pregnancy than other women.

Complain & ask to be transferred to a different consultant.

The comparison with childbirth is ridiculous. With childbirth you know it’s going to end at some point. With heavy, painful periods you’re never sure how long it’ll last but you do know it’s going to happen every month! If it’s preventing you from going about your normal life it’s disabling & should be taken seriously. Makes me so mad when women are dismissed as you’ve been. She should’be taken blood to check a hormone profile, thyroid function, haemoglobin etc

Hope you get a second opinion