Husband's debt

[CJB83]

Hi, I've never been on a site like this so please bear with me. I knew my husband (partner at the time) had money issues. He was out of work for approx 10 months before we got together, during which time he had his house rewired and went to Australia amongst other things. Fast forward 6 months and we are living together, I pay for food and holidays despite earning less than half of his salary. July 2017 he changes job and no longer gets a company car. Guess who pays for the rental car? Yep, me. June 2018 I am made redundant in a horrible way by my company which leaves me unable to work. I am treated by a psychiatrist for depression, anxiety and OCD. I still pay for holidays and the car and did until November. September we go to Tenerife for 2 weeks but I know I can't afford it. I have tried to question him on his debt but he refuses point blank to tell me. I've done some digging (even though he has spreadsheets which are password protected) and have found he owes at least £40k. I also miscarried in Nov 2016 and would just die to have a baby. He has recently told me that he isn't bothered if we have a family or not. This is killing me. I need a family but I'm 35. Please, if you can, offer me some advice

Leave
Find someone who loves and respects you
You don't want to be tied to this man forever

Do you want to stay with him? If you do, he needs advice from a debt charity or somewhere ASAP and start actually doing something about it.

If not, 35 is still young enough to leave and find someone else to get pregnant with (sorry to sound so blunt). But you might find love at anytime, realistically if you want to get pregnant and have a baby that way, then it's best to get moving sooner rather than later.

You are never going to be straight with this man.

He has a shed load of debt and puts short term gratification (holidays to Australia and Tenerife, getting his house rewired) before long term stability.

You need someone who will support you when you have a child rather than someone who needs supporting.

I bet if you said you couldn’t afford to go to Tenerife he would have been off and you wouldn’t have seen him for dust.

You need to do a credit check on yourself to make sure he hasn't put loans in your name.
Cancel the holiday in Tenerife you need the money as you have no security.
You can't carry on like this especially now your aims for a family are different.

You have different standards, aspirations and approaches to life's challenges.
Read you post back.
What would you say to yourself. It is not the easiest decision to make but why be with someone who runs away from responsibility?