I don't think I love my baby

[Meyouandbabytoo]

I've gone away with dh for a couple of nights for the first time since our son was born in May. We've left him with my parents, it's the first time we've been away from him for more than a few hours since he was born.
Dh said earlier about missing our son, and it feeling like something was missing without him with us. I honestly don't feel like that. I've barely noticed he isn't here, and I just feel like me again. I can eat a meal without stopping to feed the baby, I can actually sleep at night, I just feel free. And I felt really guilty when I realised that.

What's wrong with me? Why don't I even care? Isn't my son meant to be more important to me than this?

Ha! I had this. I was away for a weekend with two female friends, mooching, shopping etc. One of my friends asked if I felt like I kept forgetting something because I didn't have the pram, or if it felt weird not have the baby around. My response was, er, nope! It was amazing. Felt like being me again. Then when I got home I saw him and wondered how on earth I'd ever left him, even for a second... biology is a crazy thing!

Yep! I've not managed to have a night away yet (or an evening...or anything!) but when DS (13m) is in bed (took us til 10 months to get him to sleep away from me for any time at all) DH sometimes says how he misses him! I'm just bloody glad to get a couple of hours off! Completely understand the feeling like yourself. I managed to have a half an hour coffee alone last week and it was the first time I felt like myself since the birth!

Don't feel guilty! It's not reflection of how much you love your ds, you know he's safe and cared for so its fine to relax and be yourself for a while. Enjoy it!

My DD has been sleeping at mums regularly since she was 8 months, and before then mum would stay at ours and have the baby for us from her being a couple of weeks old. Honestly i loved it! She's 3 now and stays 1 night a week at my mums and I rarely 'miss' her because I know she's having a blast and I get to do whatever I want.

Being your own person and taking time for yourself is important and mums especially can forget that and get lost in it all.

Don’t worry in the least, OP. You deserved the break, and I enjoyed my son far more when I went back to work, having felt miserable and isolated during mat leave. It’s all better from here on,

Mine stayed away overnight from 5 months old. I loved the time away. Also they went to nursery from young and I was too busy with wirk to fret.
Interestingly I feel that I had a berry strong bond with mine from early and in some ways that made it easier for me to be away from them.
Enjoy it. I used to stay with my grandparents when young and I absolutely loved it.

It’s good for you to be working! It’s good for people to work part time or stay at home if that’s what works for them, but don’t let your SIL’s comments make you feel bad. Going back to work full time was the best decision I made, I’m a better parent for not spending every waking hour with dd.

I absolutely adore my children, but I relish my time away from them and I am happy to see them on my return.

Enjoy your you time!

You are doing nothing wrong. What you are feeling is proof that parenting comes with guilt attached. If you don't feel guilty about enjoying yourself you feel guilty about not feeling guilty.

Enjoy your time away!

When my oldest was about five months old I sent her to my DM’s overnight for the first time to celebrate my husband’s birthday. As I was going to bed that night my last thought was “this is sooooo nice, why did we ever have a baby?!” and then I promptly woke up and cried the rest of the night because, like you, I was afraid something was terribly wrong with me. DD is now nearly 5 with younger siblings and I love them, all of them, deeply and unequivocally, but a night away IS NICE. You don’t have to miss them when you get a little break. It doesn’t for one minute mean you don’t love them, just that they’re a bit of hard work and you’re appreciating a break in routine and the chance for a rest.

Enjoy the break, you’ll be delighted to see him when you get back and be a rested Mummy. Xx