Gaaahhhh! Stop The Screaming Child!!!!

[HoneyDoo]

I am a parent to 3 children, all still in Primary. Today I attended my youngest child's Christmas performance, she is in Reception. During the entire performance a fellow mum who had bought her 2 year old with her to watch her own son who is also in Reception, allowed, yes allowed her child to scream, whine and cry through the entire play!!!

Having been in her position myself many times (especially because my youngest 2 are very close in age) I know how hard it is to want to be there to see your older child's special day, have nowhere to leave your younger child and you just go along and hope for the best. I also know how hard it is when the entire world is staring at you to and willing you to shut up your child. I KNOW!!!

However, I have also been in her position where my child has been disruptive and I haven't been able to soothe her. So, what do I do?
Do I sit there gawping ahead and acting as if the writhing, grumpy, red in the face and probably tired little bundle of joy, screaming in my lap and then laying on the floor does not exist?

Or, do I quickly ascertain that soothing is not going to work, she is probably far too agitated to be calmed here and I, devastated because my little one hasn't even performed yet, am ruining this performance for every other child and their family, so I had better make a swift exit.... That's what I have repeatedly done for awards, assemblies, readings and even a Christmas performance.

Not this lady, the former! She did the former. And her child screamed throughout the entire play and if not screaming then she was whining and simply being a 2 year old. And even when halfway through the performance, her child started to set some of the Reception children off with them getting emotional and crying for their parents, she STILL just sat there and kept loudly telling her child 'ok you wanna go? Let's go, come on, let's go'!!!!!

FUCK OFF!!! GO HOME! Even more annoying, all of the teachers are noticing and giving stern looks, not one politely came over and said 'perhaps she'd be better off getting some air' or something!!!!

The Reception class only did one performance of their nativity and for many, many parents (me included) it was a one time event that is now all about a screaming child and her exceptionally rude and selfish mum.

No courtesy for others! Tell me I am not the only one that feels like this....

TBH I think it pretty much comes with the territory there are noisy toddlers at nativities.

YANBU. Hate this. This is the older children’s time. Take the screaming toddlers away ffs.

YANBU at all!!!

I went to an assembly last week to see my son (aged 4) be given an award alongside 10 other children who would be called up for one too.

Unfortunately I had to take my
16 month old with me who was bored and tired and unsurprisingly started whining, crying, tantrumming after about ten minutes and it was escalating quickly. Although I hadn’t seen my child be presented his award I left the assembly in order to remove my disruptive child.

I watched the ceremony through a window so saw my son get his award but it obviously wasn’t as special as it would have been if I’d been in the hall.

However, my desire to see my child get his award doesn’t trump the rights of all the other parents who were there to see their own children.

yanbu, at my childrens school they asked if this happened parents should take baby outside till settled.

I got off 2 buses the other day because my baby wouldnt stop screaming. Did I want to? No. It was freezing and raining, but I did. So she could have stepped out and tried to settle the child.

There is a time and a place to allow your pre schooler to eat an awful lot of sweets, this is one of these occasions!!!

Why didn't you say something to her op, instead of expecting the teachers to?

I’ve just returned from a paid professional performance of Christmas carols and songs- absolutely glorious other than the toddler who was allowed to cry, whinge and shout for large tracts of the one hour show.

How the people sitting nearby avoided stabbing the parents inwill never know.

Have child will be ready to exit.

YANBU Our old headmistress was great at asking parents to leave if they couldnt stick to the rules (no phones, no cameras, no screaming kids) and she is surely missed.

YANBU at all. Had this the other day. Could barely hear my little one's lines and she only had 4.
Either give the kid something to eat, take it outside or GET A FUCKING BABYSITTER. You've had 2 month's notice.

I know I'm unsympathetic - but it's how I feel about this.

Our school used to provide a creche in one of the classrooms with a couple of the classroom assistants to man it so everybody could enjoy the show in peace

At our school it says on the letter KS1 nativity (No toddlers)😂😂

At dn’s private school, where we pay £12k per year, parents with crying babies and toddlers are often escorted out of performances. Phone use results in parents being banned from performances and this is enforced at the gate. If a private school can do this without parents demanding refunds or getting arsey; then why can’t a comp? Teachers needed to step in — suggest you write a letter of complaint and ask them to ensure it doesn’t happen again.

If a private school can do this without parents demanding refunds or getting arsey; then why can’t a comp?

Because it is much easier for a private school to do things like that, it may even be written into their contract about performances, it was in DDs, so parents could demand a refund all they liked, they wouldn't get it. Parents at my school wouldn't get arsy or demand a refund, they'd ignore us, or start effing and blinding, some of them have been known to get aggressive over far less. The teachers are busy supervising their class and trying to keep the children quiet and sitting nicely between their parts and we have to teach those children for the rest of the year, do you really think little child is going to have a positive relationship with the teacher who has just had to tell mum to leave the play they have been practising for weeks? It's ok for the head to do as they aren't the ones in class with them every day but you can't expect the teacher to do it.

YANBU - there were no younger children allowed at our KS1 nativity for this reason. They did a full dress rehearsal in the morning though and parents were welcome to take younger children to that. It worked really well and I didn't hear any complaints.

I'm with randommess I had 3 under 5 and this was my life for many years lol a huge bag with an an increasing scale of forbidden treats started off with fruit, raisins, popcorn etc ended up with Smarties when things got desperate.

I’m very glad our school bans siblings at many events.

This very much depends on the individual person... some people have manners, whilst some believe their own needs, wants, desires are the most important....

I remember when my sister’s 3 kids started a klaxon-loud screamfest one day in a supermarket. The rest of the store just looked round wincing & horrified, because it sounded like serious child torture happening. Noting this I brought my sister’s attention to the “scream choir”….and she smilingly replied “oh, it doesn’t bother me anymore…….I’m used to it” and casually carried on shopping…… so we’re all good then sis?......

In summary, it would be nice, if you could consider the whole of society when you’re out & about with your kids. They have to fit into society, no matter how brilliant, special & talented they doubtless all are…. So actually you are doing them a favour by teaching them appropriate behaviour, manners, consideration & how to treat others…. this will best equip them to deal with life.

A supermarket is very different to a play to be fair.

YANBU at all. But often these threads end with the OP being jumped on by people saying "What do you expect FGS. It's a children's nativity not the Royal bloody Albert Hall!"

However, I am with you 100%. Such a bloody shame for the little ones performing the part they have been practising for weeks when it is entirely ruined by the selfish parent of the screaming toddler.

When DD was very small I took her out of a carol concert for much less than that. She wasn't screaming but was getting restless and wriggly and losing interest so I waited until everyone was on their feet singing and then slipped out with her before it got worse.

I’m with you 100% op. There was only 1 toddler at our Christmas play this year as the head had sent a letter out asking parents not to bring babies and toddlers and that if they had issues with childcare they were welcome to bring their younger children to one of the many dress rehearsals they were having in the week leading up to the play.
Well one parent brought their toddler anyway and surprise surprise they had a massive 10 minute screaming session towards the end of the play. And I’m talking constant wailing so none of the children on stage could be heard. After the 10 minutes (and there is a prominent clock on the wall so I know it was 10 mins which is a hell of a long time to listen to blood curdling screaming) the mum finally took the child outside but the play was basically over.
I wasn’t that bothered about not being able to hear my child as they were in the choir and had already sung a few songs but one of the little actors on stage was visibly close to tears that their whole part was being ruined. Utterly selfish behaviour.