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AIBU?

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What would you have said? Man on bus asking me to give him my seat because 'I'm less disabled than him'.

32 replies

ALongHardWinter · 19/12/2018 18:40

I was on a packed bus yesterday afternoon. A kind lady offered me the priority seat she was sitting in,which I gratefully accepted. Just for the record I have osteo and rheumatoid arthritis in my knees,hips,elbows,wrists,feet,shoulders and fingers. I also have severe tendonitis in my right shoulder,combined with RSI. Plus I also have fibromyalgia (although I appreciate that is not a 'visible' illness,nor would expect a seat on the bus if it was the only condition that I had wrong with me). I use a walking stick,and as long as I get a seat on the bus,all is well. I find it very difficult to stand,not so much because I can't stand,but because I struggle to keep my balance on a moving vehicle. Even holding on with both hands is a struggle because I have very poor grip in my fingers,I cannot hold on very firmly. Also,I end up getting my shoulder wrenched.
Anyway,bloke on crutches gets on at stop after me. He looks around and sees no vacant seats and his gaze alights upon me. 'Scuse me,can I sit there?' he says. 'Mm,no,I'm actually disabled'. I would point out that my walking stick was clearly visible to him (I was holding it in front of me). He glared at me and said 'You've only got ONE walking stick,I'm using 2 crutches!' Before I could come up with a suitable response,one of the men sitting in one of the priority seats behind me jumped up and offered him his seat. He accepted it,sat down,then proceeded to mutter under his breath for the rest of the journey. OK,I can't say for certain that he was ranting about ME,just that I heard the words 'fucking bitch' and 'cow' a few times.
I thought,honestly,it's coming to something when I'm having to play 'My disability trumps yours' on the bus! What would you have said in this situation?

OP posts:
Posthistoricmonsters · 19/12/2018 20:44

Must stop writing essays, must stop writing essays, must stop writing.....

northernmonkey1010 · 19/12/2018 22:50

How old was this man?

RangeRider · 20/12/2018 14:38

Why did he go for the woman with a stick, ignoring the more supposedly obvious people who would be able to stand?
Maybe she was the closest? Maybe she was the only one who made eye contact? Maybe everyone else looked more in need of their seat? Maybe because he thought she was using a priority seat but didn't really need it while he definitely did? Maybe because the bus was packed and he couldn't get to any other seat easily given he was on crutches?.......

ALongHardWinter · 20/12/2018 16:59

northernmonkey I'd guess he was around my age!mid 50s,but he was rather unkempt looking,so may have looked older than he actually was.

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ALongHardWinter · 20/12/2018 17:00

Sorry,don't know how that exclamation mark got in there. Hmm

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garethsouthgatesmrs · 20/12/2018 17:06

So there was a man on another priority seat but he chose to approach the woman who was clearly disabled (not that it would matter if your disability wasn't visible)

misogyny at its finest!

ALongHardWinter · 20/12/2018 17:09

Posthistoricmonsters My heart goes out to you. My problems seem small compared to yours. Flowers

Thank you for the links. I had heard about the 'Please give me your seat' badges,and keep meaning to look into it. Now I've finally got round to it.

And so sorry if I caused any offence with my choice of words. No offence was intended. Believe me,I am the first one to defend anyone who is struggling due to the ignorance of others.

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