Aibu to stop contact ?

[imataloss]

Long story and a nc for this.

Recent ex whom I have a baby with has previously been diagnosed bipolar but doesn't take meds, and before the baby arrived I didn't believe he had bipolar as none of the symptoms where visible (thinking back they where maybe a little there but nothing concerning).

Fast forward a few months ago, he was moving into his own place and on the second day he had moved in (me & dd weren't moving in right away as relationship hadn't been right with me or dd). So big massive high of moving in, and he had agreed to stop smoking when dd arrived but the second day he has this place he goes and smokes and looks at me like nothing is wrong and I'm the issue, anyway turns into and argument and me & dd leave. He then messages me abusive texts that I'm fat, I'm no longer of use now I've had a baby I was just the womb used to carry the baby, sending me photos of fat people, that I'm a piece of shit and everyone thinks it, just horrible nasty things (never once has he ever been abusive) Things get resolved (kinda). Then in October I can feel something brewing, he's really agitated over nothing, one day I took too long getting myself and dd ready and he was impatient waiting on us so created and argument out of it. The same day I wouldn't make him food and he started getting really mad then the argument turned into how he blames me for everything and he started saying 'shhhhhhhhh' through what I was saying. As it was 30 mins before he needed to leave for work I decided that I was going to leave with dd. Next thing he takes the car seat places it in a different room and stands in front of the door and wouldn't let us leave & tries to take dd from my arms. I eventually get the strength to pull the door open he's pulling and pushing me trying to get my back in the house. I get home and he sends the police to my door he told them I shook our baby. So I get In touch with my solicitor and 4 weeks pass then he tells me he's seeking help (gets sleeping tablets) and saying sorry whatever else, so I decide to meet him as I do want him to see dd and I felt guilty but I was doing it for her/our safety.

Anyway two weeks of being in contact, seeing her most days, day 11/14 we go to his and the house stinks of cannabis and I didn't want to leave in case the same thing happened that he wouldn't let us leave, I'm not a weak person but I'll admit I was scared. Next two days I was really ill and it was the first time he's EVER helped me out with dd. Then I couldn't make it down to his and he turns so nasty again, sending abusive vile texts again, then turning on my family wanting to fight my sisters bf cos he removed my ex for social media.

Also he makes horrible comments about our dd, morbid horrible things that u wouldn't expect a 'doting father' to say. Also does still dangerous things with her.

I'm sorry it's long, I'm just looking for an outsiders opinion as everyone's opinion I'm hearing are on my side. I just want to know if I'm being unreasonable?

Forgot to add said last week he wishes he had the guts to kill himself so could live with the guilt and if he ever does he hopes I know it will be because of me.

I then reached out to his mum, and previously she basically told me he was my problem now and basically washed her hands of him and turned a blind eye to her son who's clearly struggling.

YANBU.You can't help him unless he really tries to sort this.Otherwuse all you can do is protect yourself and your DD.

Please please stop contact!

Please call women's aid. You sound similar to me and it was NOT the right thing to do to try and keep contact.

My ex has bipolar too. But that doesn't give a pass to be abusive. I had to learn that. And my child suffered because I didn't till he'd caused a lot of harm.

You stopping contact doesn't stop your child seeing him. He can go through appropriate channels and do the necessary to arrange contact. Most likely supervised.

It's my experience that it is absolutely impossible to work it all out yourself with someone who has bipolar AND is abusive.

Really really appreciate both of you replies!!

What will women's aid do for us ?

Couldn't write this, he's just five mins away from my door just by luck my dad appears at the same time. He demanded to see dd I told him he knows why he isn't seeing her. I told him to get the help he desperately needs. He then started saying that I deserved the abuse I got from him and I annoyed him. (That's what he's started to do, if he doesn't get his own way he turns horrible and this is only since dd was born).

I just feel deeply deeply sad for him, he isn't the person I knew or had a baby with. If he was like this before the baby there wouldn't have been a relationship never mind a baby involved. He keeps saying I've change and previously admitted that I put the baby before him and he just needs me- I've been trying for months to please everyone and make sure he's ok, but he's done none of that for me I've basically been a single mother even when we where 'fine'. The shell is him but the inside just isn't the same and it's really sad, but he's making it increasingly hard for me to want him to see dd

They will talk to you initially. Tell them the things you're telling us... they'll listen and help you figure out what to do and how to do it.

Thank you'll holidayhope I'll need to give that a try.