Instant response to scammers...five calls this morning!

[rosepoet]

I have[ successfully] tried loud barking- the phone goes dead immediately. But they are really driving me barking mad. Trying to scam people like me into handing over my banking details is vile. Any advice?

I very rarely answer the landline.

If I do get the Microsoft bastards I ask very politely if I may ask them a question to which they say yes. I then ask if their parents know that they are employed as a thief. They generally hang up then.

There's a website to block cold callers- if you type it into google it will come up- it lasts around 6 months then you do it again it's really effective

My mum enjoys the Microsoft one when she's not busy. She pretends she's following their instructions all the way through and then when they do the bit just before they gain remote access she asks them to keep repeating the step. Sometimes she then tells them she doesn't a computer, or she had five computers so they may have to try another.

They piss me right off though. They seem to enjoy calling just as I'm putting one or both children to bed.

I m feeling so left out, they never call me 🤙

I don’t have a landline

so I answered the phone in French, and refused to talk to him in English

I've taken to doing that - although I don't speak fluent French I do have a couple of French language novels that I read from until they get fed up and go away. Neither of us know what I'm talking about.

often people ring asking for previous owner by name I tell them that I believe she is in plot 73 in X town cemetery when they respond asking for new homeowner I say if you hadn't realised she was dead in the past 9 years their business must be rubbish so I won't want to deal with them

I just pretend I can't hear them. After I've said 'Sorry,can you repeat that please,this line is dreadful' for the tenth time,they usually give up in disgust.

SilverTray 'Neither us know what I'm talking about'. That made me snort with laughter!

The accident ones are my favourites. If I’ve got time I get into a really long dull story about the fake accident and then at the end say, ‘I had to have the bottom half of my legs chopped off. Serves me right for drinking two bottles of wine before getting in the car’.

I do one of three things depending where I am and who I'm with.

1. Tell them to FUCK OFF
2. String them a line....oh yes that acvident, oh I got lots of injuries etc
3. Pick the phone up and say hello and put the phone down on the desk and carry on working. They hang up when they realise no one is listening.

Then I block the number.

if they ask for me by 'Mrs Can't' I say that she has been dead for 15 years and put the phone down

Can't this happened the morning my mum died. Someone called asking for my dad. My brother said "he's been dead for 5 years" so then they asked "can I speak to Mrs XX instead" - "er no, she just died this morning". I'm sure they thought it was a terrible joke! Worst timed cold call ever.

Just keep mumbling "theres blood everywhere , what have i done"

Or make like manuel from faulty towers
"Que?" "I speak English well, i learn it from a booook"

I have caller display & only answer to numbers I recognise, caller display is free on TalkTalk.
My utilities & communications companies, my bank, all have my email address & mobile number so can text or email or even write to me.
If I get texts or emails with phone numbers on I google them to check they're genuine before calling as I've had phishing emails.

I also have a window by the front door & only answer the door to friends, neighbours & family.
I don't care if the person sees me looking at them!
When I was poorly I had problems with chuggers, JWs & the worst one was a salesman who was rude to me so that was the last straw.

My dad says 'oh hang on a minute til i take the pot off the stove' then just sits the phone down til they hangup

I always hang up on these kind of calls. They waste most of my time, though. Sometimes I just ignore them. I look up the number on sites like whycall.me or simply Google them and block the number if I find many reports have been filed under the number.