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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to expect better from DH at Christmas?

6 replies

notsorighteousthesedays · 19/12/2018 08:44

DH left the family home without explanation or notice at the end of November, we had been together 30+ years and have 3 teenagers. He is apparently living with his new partner about an hour away from us. Since he left he has seen one of our children twice (ten minutes and an hour) one for an hour and the eldest not at all. He mentioned to his favourite that he might take her to show her where he is living on Christmas Eve. I told her I didn't want her to go that far to visit somewhere/someone we know nothing about. He has told and involved us in so many lies that I wouldn't trust him to walk in a straight line!
As far as I know he has offered nothing further to them and so I have carried on making family Christmas plans. I know that he is off work Christmas Eve, Day and Boxing Day. It's all now only a few days away and I wonder if he is going to spring something on them at the last minute and upset everyone all over again. Or not try to see them at all. I don't know which would be worse for my children.

So AIBU to wish we could just go straight to January 2019?

OP posts:
MrsGideon · 19/12/2018 09:58

OP I'm so sorry you're going through that Flowers

This exact scenario happened to my mum's friend and even though she was utterly heartbroken, she just focused on making sure her children had a safe, loving and quiet Christmas with her. If he wants to see them, he'll have to wait until you're ready - it was his choice to leave.

notsorighteousthesedays · 19/12/2018 11:12

Thanks MrsG. I am trying to focus on our traditional family events and parties. Unfortunately, like the coward he is, he hasn't told anyone in our families and friends circles so I am having to let people know when I can to avoid any potential embarrassment and upset when we're all meeting up!

OP posts:
MrsGideon · 19/12/2018 11:29

Yep, I know the type! At least it means they're getting your version of events - no doubt he'd probably try and twist things (as my mum's friend's husband did).

Your children probably feel like the priority at the moment but do you also have a support network you can lean on?

Stompythedinosaur · 19/12/2018 12:00

God, what a dickhead!

I hope you have a nice quiet christmas with your dc.

LagunaBubbles · 19/12/2018 12:03

Oh what an absolute twat, what do your children say about it?

furrysheep · 19/12/2018 12:13

Thanks OP. What a horrible man and a coward. He has zero respect for you as he didn't even have the decency to tell you he was leaving let alone for another woman. You deserve far better. Are you going to file for divorce for his adultery?
Wishing you and your kids a lovely Christmas without him.

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