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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to feel I have no right to be there

1 reply

Raven3 · 18/12/2018 22:43

I have battled with anxiety (particularly social anxiety) my whole life.

It has made me feel like a fraud, everywhere I go. At uni, I felt guilty for being there, as if I wasn't good enough, because my anxiety caused me huge problems when it came to speaking in front of the class. On the other hand, I felt a fraud, as if a real anxious person wouldn't even be there in the first place. I became anxious about being anxious!

This only got worse with my profiessional career. My first job was a fun, exciting role, which I felt I was unable to do to the full because I was anxious about certain things and couldn't do them to the best of my ability. Again, I felt I shouldn't be there, and guilty I had got the job. The company would have got so much more out of someone if they didn't have these worries I have.

My latest job is even worse for this. Many aspects require confidence and I KNOW my anxiety is making me look incompetent. But I really do try. I feel myself spiralling, as if I have no right to be there. I overwork myself to make up for my shortcomings but I know it's not enough. And I can't say anything to my boss about my feelings, because they will wonder why someone with anxiety went for this job in the first place. But on the other hand I can't think of a job that wouldn't make me anxious and I need an income. I feel guilty for working.

OP posts:
UhUhUhDennis · 18/12/2018 22:47

You know the problem? The anxiety! Sort that out, get counselling, get treatment, go private, make it your goal to conquer anxiety and the rest will fall into place.

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