Once again my family have really emotionally stabbed me. I don’t know if they do it deliberately or just really don’t see it as an issue....
Context - so for many years I had a very controlling and manipulative husband who would allow us to go to see his family all the time but always come up with excuses or put hurdles in the way of seeing mine, which did mean I wasn’t as close to them, although I tried when I could.
Four years ago I decided I couldn’t be married anymore - I had had life changing events happen and realised I couldn’t pretend anymore that all was ok and I needed to start living my own life. When I told my parents my mum immediately said “it had to be you, you had to be different, why couldn’t you have just put up with it - you were always trouble” - great support there then.
Ex carried on trying to manipulate them and it took almost a year for them to see through him and came back to me and apologise and I forgave and started rebuilding our relationship. But my elder sister would not accept that and was absolutely awful to me with the things she said - for example “you weren’t abused - I never saw any bruises” - she didn’t see what was underneath clothing at times - “he was always good to you” “how could you do that to the family” etc etc.
Last time I saw her was a year ago and apparently she will only invite me next year to her sons wedding if I apologise to her... anyway...
Middle sister is hosting a family Christmas get together - my brother and his family are over from overseas, elder sister and her family are going, my parents and the rest of my middle sisters family will all be there including my nieces new baby.
All good - except I am not invited. I am specifically excluded and my parents have even said they are not now coming to me the day before as they will be so tired with seeing everyone else at middle sisters “do”.
AIBU to be really upset by their exclusion - and the fact that they don’t even appear to see at all that I would be upset about it?
I feel totally winded by being so completely shut out. What would you do?