To not to include myself?

[OhBabyItsColdOutThere]

Hi all.
I have been making a personalised Christmas present for my boyfriends parents for Xmas. It's a scrabble art present which is relatively cheap to make and since there is 14 names to include it looks cool.
Me and my boyfriend been together just over 3 years. Had our ups and downs but going strong although we haven't really talked about the future. This evening i was showing him the finished frame with his parents, his and his siblings, their parents and kids names all included and he asked me where is mine. Well I would lie if I said I didn't think about including myself but at the end I decided not. I don't know if he is bothered... well he is a man so probably not 😂 But it made me think should have I included myself?! What would have you done?
TIA x

Have you included his siblings' partners? If not, then it would be odd to add your name; if yes, then it's odd to leave yours off.

I wouldn’t add my name!

Personally I wouldn’t have included my name either unless there is the name of other relatives partners or u and your boyfriend have children together. Do you live together? Does his family treat you like part of the family?

Yes I included the siblings partners name(all 3 of his siblings are married with kids)

Agree that it depends on whether you've included siblings partners or not

If partners are in it, then you are also a partner and should be in it.

Yes we live together and it's hard to answer the question whether they see me as family. I'd say no but probably they would if we made more effort of seeing them. Or I don't know, it's hard to read them but I don't think they like me very much.

I think to do something so personal it's slightly odd to not include yourself, perhaps even subconciously, but I think maybe you don't feel part of the family perhaps? If you don't then why do something so thoughtful and id you do then why not add yourself?
Sometimes you get closer by making these lovely gestures because it shows them that you feel part of it, so best to put yourself in before they think you feel left out? X

I definitely don't feel part of that family! I can tell you that. For some reason I never felt like I fit in there. I am city girl , I like fashion and very proud of my job which they purely have 0 interest in. It's always about kids kids kids or grandkids grandkids grandkids but never a good conversation about something else. I have tried so bad the past few years but tired a bit now.
The reason why I didn't include myself is because I don't feel part of the family.
Also 2 out of the 3 siblings of my boyfriend (one sister and one of the brothers) would make a comment that this is probably they way of my telling my boyfriend I want to be part of the family (ergo marriage)

Hmmmm.... now you’ve written those details, I’m wondering if there is a possibility that it could be taken as a passive aggressive gift, that you’ve deliberately left yourself off. Or, maybe, when they look at it closely they’ll ask where your name is and you’ll have to pretend you just forgot..

I wouldn't have included me unless I was engaged or married. It sounds lovely.

You know it will be a long hard life for you if you stay with this man. Having a hostile family that he is close to is a recipe for disaster.

Good point there @CurlyhairedAssassin - high chance they will ask where your name is. What will you say?

I don't want to seem passive aggressive. And I am very found of my boyfriends mum. I think she is lovely and she bends over backwards for all her kids. His dad is taking the piss of me all the time. I don't know maybe I am overreacting it but honestly he could give it a break every now and then. One of the brothers and his sister are hard work. They get offended if we don't travel 6 hrs to be there for their kids christening, they make a huge fuss about Christmas it's just hard and I don't feel part of it

I think then it does come across as if you're trying to get a point across, so perhaps dont give it to her on second thought, or do and see what happens? I'm sure they'd be a question asked and you should prepare something if not the truth?
Also, I think I'd go anywhere for my nieces and nephews so perhaps it may be a case of you not wanting to be part of the family instead of them not including you, just a thought? X

You are included in a way, OP, because you made it!

Don't overthink this and make yourself feel bad. I think it is nice that your partner asked why you didn't include yourself; that shows that he considers you part of his family. His siblings are all married, with kids, so of course their spouses have to be included-- you and your partner are at a different stage.

It seems like a very personal gift, and because you made it you are an intimate part of it. In a way that's your out. If they say why you excluded yourself the answer is you put yourself into its creation. If they would take your name being included as presumptive or PA well you haven't so no problem. Don't think you can lose on this one.