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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have written from ‘Auntie & Uncle’? *Lighthearted*

22 replies

MamaBear2181 · 18/12/2018 13:10

Hi all.

It’s not a big issue or anything but wanted to check out the consensus on this please. My brother has been living with a lovely woman for just over a year now, my brother has no children of his own and his gf has two DS’. I’ve met his gf a handful of times, but have only met the children once. They’re all very nice and my DB is very happy with them.

I have my parents and siblings over for a family get together a day or two before Christmas and have invited DB’s GF and children too. The only other kids on our side of the family are mine.

I have bought her DS’ each a present and a selection box and have written on the tag from ‘Auntie & Uncle Mamabear’ as in my eyes they are family now and thought it was warmer than just putting our names. I feel if I had done that it would set a ‘tone’ for the future so to speak, and wanted to be clear that we welcome them into the family. My OH though thinks it’s over familiar of me and that the GF/children may think it’s a bit much considering we haven’t spent much time with them, so my AIBU is just that really. Should I write new tags and hope there’s no offence taken or leave them addressed to them as family?

OP posts:
BrylcreamBeret · 18/12/2018 13:12

I think it's nice and inclusive. I hope they appreciate your gifts :)

PotteringAlong · 18/12/2018 13:12

Leave it; it’s lovely.

Reccy2018 · 18/12/2018 13:13

Agree, it's lovely.

GooodMythicalMorning · 18/12/2018 13:13

I think that's really nice. I'd be happy in 5hat situation.

Fairyliz · 18/12/2018 13:13

Tbh I think the children will be too busy ripping off the paper to eat chocolate to really care what the tag says.

If your brothers gf notices I think she would be really pleased. It nice and welcoming and makes her feel part of the family.

NonaGrey · 18/12/2018 13:14

Surely it would be pretty difficult take offence at your brother’s sister including your children in the family?

GraduationDilemma · 18/12/2018 13:14

Bit weird, a year isn't that long.

EwItsAHooman · 18/12/2018 13:14

I personally wouldn't put auntie and uncle but it's lovely you want them to feel like a part of your family. Just be welcoming, be kind, be friendly.

FWIW, my nieces and nephews don't call us Auntie and Uncle Hooman, they call us by our first names as it's far less formal.

AlpacaPicnic · 18/12/2018 13:15

I think that's nice and welcoming.

When I was younger Aunty and Uncle were used to address grownups that you were not just related to but, for example, friends of your parents where you knew them well enough to use first names but not just first names (if that makes any sense!)

mangotrees · 18/12/2018 13:16

How old are the children? It is very welcoming and kind of you but older kids/teenagers may not see it that way.

TinselandToblerones · 18/12/2018 13:19

We lived in Asia for a bit and every grown up is referred to as Uncle or Auntie. I think it’s lovely. I can’t imagine your brother’s partner being offended

anonymousss · 18/12/2018 13:22

how old are they? If they still see their dad then his siblings would be their auntie and uncle as your DB is not their dad. I still think it's a lovely thing to do but depends on their age and their relationship with their dad

lavenderbluedilly · 18/12/2018 13:25

I think that’s lovely. As opposed to my DH’s siblings who don’t bother to buy anything for my DS (from previous relationship), let alone refer to themselves as aunt or uncle!

Original poster
MamaBear2181 · 18/12/2018 13:35

The DC are 10 & 12. They do see their dad but beyond that I don’t know much about their relationship with him. They have been calling my DB their stepfather of their own accord and they both love him as he does them, so it feels like they’re a family iyswim.

Where I mentioned I was worried about offence being taken, I meant they may feel not included as family if I had just written from ‘The Bears’ and didn’t want them to feel unwelcome. I agree with a PP though that the children will probably be far too interested in the contents of presents than the tags so I think I’ll leave them as they are. I suspect I’m just overthinking the whole thing!

OP posts:
Lettermethis · 18/12/2018 14:14

I think it's lovely!

Ohyesiam · 18/12/2018 14:16

It’s great that you want to include them.

bestofme21 · 18/12/2018 14:22

I think it's a lovely and friendly way to label the presents.

Anybody of my parents age is auntie or uncle, regardless of whether they are blood relations or not. It's a respectful way to address them.

ShartGoblin · 18/12/2018 14:38

I think the gf is bound to feel out of place and this sends a clear message that she doesn't need to. A lovely thought, don't doubt yourself.

NonaGrey · 18/12/2018 14:40

It’s not uncommon for kids to call their parents friend’s Auntie and Uncle, my kids certainly do, a blood relationship isn’t required.

YepImafraidIchangeditagain · 18/12/2018 14:41

Lovely thought. This can only come across as welcoming. Good for you for being so kind.

Original poster
MamaBear2181 · 18/12/2018 15:49

Thank you to everyone for your replies, I feel reassured that what I’ve written is fine and will leave them as is.

On a side note, ShartGoblin your name made me belly laugh, I love it 😂

OP posts:
Returnofthesmileybar · 18/12/2018 15:55

Yes, I think it's over familiar considering you have only met the kids a few times and at 10&12 I bet they'll be a bit Confused but that said I don't think it's a bad thing, a tad odd maybe, but not bad, I can tell you are being nice

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