AIBU to expect people to talk to each other?

[Pachyderm1]

I read so many threads on MN where someone describes a problem which could, in 90% of cases, be solved by just talking to someone - but it’s like this just doesn’t occur as a solution!

So someone has a noisy neighbour and asks if it would be unreasonable to report them, when they haven’t even tried speaking to the neighbour first.

Or someone is worried that their PIL are buying the same Christmas gifts for their kids and asks how to handle it - like it hasn’t even occurred to them they could just ask.

Or someone feels resentful about excessive gift giving, but haven’t even tried asking their family if they can scale back.

I know sometimes social conventions are powerful, but it honestly feels like the vast majority of people are operating from the assumption that all other humans are selfish, inconsiderate bastards who wouldn’t dream of compromising with you or agreeing to a reasonable request. At least give people the opportunity to prove that before believing it!

(This post doesn’t apply to people who suffer from actual anxiety, which I appreciate is a recognised condition which can make these things impossible)

But some people are selfish inconsiderate bastards so the advice to just talk to them isn't universal either. My upstairs neighbour tried to murder someone a few years back so I think twice about going round to complain

It always makes me laugh that people come here and complain about their partners yet haven't managed to have a simple conversation with them - even when they've been married for years. I mean seriously, just talk.

It’s not a universal solution, but it makes me sad whensomeone wont talk to their partner about problems in the relationship. That must make for a lonely life.

My upstairs neighbour tried to murder someone a few years back so I think twice about going round to complain

I think in your circumstances that’s reasonable!