Expensive gifts

[Excel]

My family organise a secret Santa every christmas. how this works out is we set an amount to spend on your s s. Gift and buy smaller gifts for everyone else. However whilst the limit I was told was 30 euro ,as it's enough, people cant afford more, the bumper gift bags and hamper received far exceeded 30 euro. I immediately felt bad and was embarrassed to give out my gifts which were in the 30 price range.

Aibu to not appreciate the extravagant gifts and be almost ashamed of mine.

My kids are over the moon. Me', not so much, in fact when I got home I got the kids to open the hamper to put any food away and discovered delphware amongst chocolates! Maybe she thinks I can't afford plates! Feeling ungrateful and like the poor relation.🤨

is it possible they won it somewhere and thought you enjoy it? both out school tombola and work one had expensive food hampers as main win

Friends of my parents used to get given these fancy hampers for free from work, we had several years of beautiful harrods hampers because she got given so many and wanted to offload the bulky things. Could it be something like that? So the value may be well above £30 but they may have got it for free?

She knows I like a certain range from a department store and lots of items from range in hamper. Also picture hooks to suit my home decor so I know she hand picked and chose all. She works in retail so can create really professionally hamper. Thing is she's a person who always gives extravagant presents and I should be over the moon but I feel so ungrateful because it all means nothing to me. She has spent the last several weekends runing around shopping and getting quite stressed preparin g for christmas whilst I have just bought on a budget when I could afford to. I think I feel less than the poor relation. No joy from gift only guilt and bad feeling. HO ho HO!!

I'm quite good at using every kind of deal going to get my maximum for my budget - could she have done similar and got things half price?

She’s got it wrong not you.

Put it out of your mind and enjoy your gift giving as before. Have a lovely Christmas.

(Possibly next year mention at the outset that you’d prefer everyone to stick to the agreed budget. For those on a healthy budget it’s often easier to spend more than to find the perfect gift for less. She does sound as if her intentions were right but she still got it wrong!)

Does she get a good discount as she works in retail?
You sound a bit competitive to me. It's sad that you can't enjoy the carefully chosen gifts and see them as thoughtful. It's strange to perceive it as insulting.

if you change your name in the middle of the thread it gets confusing OP

you are massively BU, your poor relative would be crushed if a thoughtful gift was giving this reception.

Why do you think your relation was more stressed than you? You don't know how much they spent, they might have huge retail discounts (or swap discounts with a friend), bought on a discount site, regifting some unwanted items. How can you not appreciate something that suits your home decor? Mind boggles.

Even if they went over budget, they might have wanted to treat you. Can't you appreciate the gift like a normal person?

On a different note, I always spend the same amount on birthday gifts when my kids are invited to a party. I randomly found a closing-down sale and bought a handful of toys there. I spent my usual amount but the toys were worth 4 times more. I am now wondering if some parent had a grumpy reaction too.

Seriously, get over it. You spent the agreed amount. If someone chose to spend more, that's on them. Just enjoy your gifts and stop comparing.

I think I'm quite normal. I have issues like everyone and am definitely not typical but your initial reaction to something is genuine and as such should be allowed without being judged like your a bad person......

Feelings are complicated things and I find everyone has their own quirks....

Maybe the relative just wanted to treat you. The older relatives in my family are generous with the younger generation because they say they remember what it's like to be starting out.

Maybe they got it cheap or free?

Our budget is £20 per person and if I manage to get something worth £40 for half price then I will give them that. Equally if I got something that was worth £20 but spent £10 I would buy something else to go with it.

Financially she would be better off than me and a generation older so can afford to treat. I'll invite her round over Xmas prepare a nice meal, walk in the countryside, we both love nature and use the new delph!!

Im very good at maximising my budget is it possible that she has works discount if she works in retail when i did i had a bid card and never paid full price for anything in most high street stores.

If this is not the case maybe she just really wanted to treat you it spunds like shes put a lot of care into chosing things you would like. Send a nice thank you note and enjoy it

I'm sure your relative will appreciate that.

Came on to say, don't be so mean spirited. Your relation did a nice thing and bought you things she knew you would like and appreciate, but have seen your update. She didnt buy you an expensive gift to make you feel bad, she did it because she likes you. K thibkninviting her around and telling g her how.Mich you lobed the hamper and was surprised to see the china will be a lovely gesture.

I am friends with a lovely and supportive single mum, I am happy to slip an expensive gift in the mix or treat her to lunch as she rarely spends any money on herself.

Maybe she just wanted to give you a special treat? If people are fully aware of the budget of what they will be getting in return I feel its upto them if they want to push the boat out wouldn't worry about it

And as other posters have said I am obsessed with getting maximum bang for my buck, we've got a guideline this year of £15 per child but they're pressies are all £40 worth from the black Friday

I've been having this conversation in my head this week. I love buying gifts for people and money isn't a massive problem. I brought a particularly skint friend a £80 purse because I hoped it would make her feel special. But I've been thinking over the last few days how it will make her feel knowing that she can't reciprocate (I don't care and am happy with a box of chocolates). Will it make her feel bad ?

If a friend bought me a really expensive gift I think i would feel bad if I could not reciprocate in kind. However I realise some people would be fine with that. We can be generous in different ways, like giving our time, special effort etc...which I think people appreciate too.