Acne... For people with clear skin to think they know best

[MyNameIsABCDE]

So I've recently been suffering with pretty bad acne. AIBU to think that people with annoyingly perfect skin have a right to tell me how to clear it up?

Fair enough people giving advice if they used to have bad acne that's improved, but when people who have always had perfect skin tell me to make sure I wash my face or eat better food it really irritates me. AIBU?

YANBU. Acne is a bitch.
I had it throughout my 20’s. Unsure what worked for me but things I did just before it went: used Zinyert...a topical antibiotic cream, changed my make up to Bare Minerals and kept the brushes spotlessly clean, cut out dairy (changed to oat milk) and went on Yasmin. Either one or all of them helped miraculously.

I feel your pain OP - perfect skin as a teen but now as an adult I have huge painful cysts all along my jaw and around my mouth. I use benzoyl peroxide (or Duac gel as it's called on the label) from the doctors and it keeps it at bay relatively well, as well as trying to avoid sugar as it flares it up. But I know how you feel, it's awful and painful and embarrassing and there's nothing more annoying than someone who has perfect skin saying "have you tried putting toothpaste on it? That works for spots!" or "just squeeze it, get it all out" (nope, this is a cyst, I couldn't squeeze it even if the pain would allow it, it would create a crater in m face)!

Microdermabrasion and mild peels really work for me. My skin is clear now but I have to keep on top of it.

It’s rude to comment at all on someone else’s skin, body, hair etc. Even indirectly by talking about your own in a pointed way.

I remember discussing this, on acne, as a teen: was generally agreed that it was rude to comment at all, and that if people wanted a discussion they would bring it up.

I wouldn’t give my opinion to anyone on anything unless asked. But I think the assumption that a person needs to have been through something to have any kind of input isn’t right. I think it’s quite limiting actually. I hope you feel happier with your skin and it all gets sorted 👍🏼.

@MyNameIsABCDE I slowly introduced products from the Ordinary over the last few months.

After trial and error, what works for me is :
AM: salicylic acid (clears pores) , niacinamide (inhibits sebum production) and alpha arbutin (fades existing acne marks)

PM: I alternate between glycolic acid (exfoliant) and retinoids (anti aging), combined with Hyaluronic acid (hydration)

It took me a while to get there OP, and this exact routine might not work for you but it's been a game-changer for me

Dalacin t topical solution changed my life. Doctor prescribes and it's antibiotic applied.to the skin

Yanbu. I hate this. I’m 29 and have had acne since 11, nothing has worked (not even roaccutane) at least not long term. Dianette contraceptive was the closest I got to “cured” but I had to come off it and hello bad skin! I will say Duac has been amazing for me though, the 5% one.

Another thing that gets to me is when people say oh I understand, I have this spot here. No! One spot on otherwise perfect skin is not the same!

YANBU. My skin is clear now, but it took me years and years of trying everything under the sun to clear it, with a hell of a lot of unsolicited advice along the way.

I had acne as a teenager, hormonal spots and now acne after the menopause. The doctor prescribed Dalacin and it has helped a lot. I think I'll ask about Duac for the remainder as OTC stuff heals the top layer whereas the lump underneath needs to drain before it can heal or it just comes up again and again.

I use Neal's Yard face wash and exfoliant as the lovely post-menopause whiskers will ingrow and cause more spots otherwise.

But how do you know that Madam Perfect Skin wasn't a mass of sores before you knew her? To look at me, you wouldn't imagine the state my face and neck were in 10 years ago. While I understand about the unsolicited comments and misguided attempts at help, I would consider myself selfish and unkind if I did not mention things that had helped me. Obviously only if it came up in the conversation, of course!

A pet hate of mine is also the assumption that you feel bad about your skin. I have had to come to terms with permanent changes to my face. I have had to learn to love the face I've got. How dare anyone assume that my face is a problem!

YANBU. I had bad skin when I was a teenager but it seemed to clear up and I thought I would be a spot free adult, until about a year ago when I started getting terrible acne around my mouth and cheeks. Also blackheads on my nose and chin. I must have spent a fortune on stuff that people recommended me but nothing made a difference and none of these people (though their intentions were good) had acne like mine.

In the end i went to the Dr and am now using what he prescribed and skin never been better.

Yes!!! I'm about to start Roaccutane (reluctantly but have tried various treatments from the gp over the years with limited success) and as pp said, if I has £1 for every time some gave me a helpful hint about drinking water, using the cleanse, tone and moisturise method etc., I'd be very rich!!

I do think those kind of attitudes have contributed to me waiting so long before pushing for a dermatology referral. I thought there must be something out there that would work, some magic technique that I hadn't tried yet

Fingers crossed for Roaccutane, I'm going for the 20mg 18 month route.

Acne-ridden 41yo here. Has anyone watched Dr Sandra Lee on YouTube? Or Dr Pimple Popper as she also known (she's a fully licenced dermatologist with her own skincare range).

I don't know what it is about what she does, but just watching the crap being squeezed out of people spots/cysts etc, is strangely satisfying LOL. The most satisfying parts are when she gets the sacs/cyst walls out of the cavity, and I'm watching this thinking "There you go mate, that's not going to come back".

I’ve always had bad skin ads much worse by most acne cures like teatree oil for instance (can you tell I’m sick of hearing about it). What’s worked for me has been exfoliators with salycillic acid but a lot of people would completely dry out on that. Everyone has different skin hence why some people have acne and others don’t.

Ah yes I remember this. I suffered for over 10 years until Roaccutane finally cleared it up. Prior to that I had tried everything amd I do mean everything but still people would think to give me advice about drinking more water!

@SandysMum - yes Zinyrt got rid of mine. The worst thing for me is sunshine. It probably does me a favour in the long run but it forces out huge, deep painful horror spots if I'm not careful. I remember having just calmed down my acne to the point of being barely visible, going to a bbq and sitting in the sun. Woke up 2 days later and huge red lumps on my cheek. Itchy and felt like someone had sewn little lead weights into my face.

My ex-husband had suffered terrible acne in his youth and still bore the scars when I met him.

Probably the most moving thing I ever read was the draft of a letter he had written to a specialist in London, asking if he could come to see him for treatment; it was paperclipped with the reply, which was a blunt brush-off. I ached for him over that - and still do, even though I haven't seen him for almost 20 years now.

@WhoTFIsAlanBrazil I love the ordinary. Use it for anti aging more than acne but have seen so many reviews on there from people praising it for being so good at clearing up their skin but I deliberately didn’t mention it because the whole post was to say don’t comment unless you have acne yourself. I’m pleased your skin is better now.

Yes its damn rude to offer unsolicited advice. "Have you thought about not wearing makeup? Or stop eating chocolate or washing your face in the tears of unicorns?" Fuck. Off.

DP tells me to sunbathe at the height of summer. No I don't need sun damage as well as scarring and acne thanks. Like PP said it is physically painful, I really don't think people know this. It bloody hurts. Especially the ones around the mouth - its a low grade pain all the live long fucking day.

I've tried all the usually crap. The last thing was the pill. Which gave me horrific migraines.

I know its not a tip sharing thread but could someone tell me where to get Duac/ benzoyl peroxide cream? Is it doctor prescribed only? Mistlewoeandwhine perhaps? TIA

I used to have terrible skin. Dianette for years, 2 courses of roaccutane.

Finally a doctor did a load of blood tests and found I was severely deficient in a few vitamins and iron. Since I began to supplement with tablets and vitamin injections, my skin has been 100 times better.

You are 100% not being U. I remember feeling like crying uncontrollably when my friends would complain their skin was bad and they had one spot...whereas my face and back were covered with painful red cysts. Then my nan would always make snide comments about how I shouldn't eat chocolate and it would clear up. Used to just bite my tongue and change the subject but I'd definitely pipe up now!
Tried everything, had Roaccutane, it came back, tried some crazy Chinese medicine and didn't eat onions for 2 years, antibiotics, all of the creams from the doctor...the only thing that keeps it properly under control is Dianette. My skin is mostly clear, although I do have scars, I do often get a few big cysts around the time of my period, and I wouldn't be able to go to work without make up without looking pretty terrible. Luckily I don't have any side effects from the Dianette, but I've been on it for 14 years and dread ever having to come off it as it quite literally changed my life. I took a different pill (think it was Yasmin) for a year once and it was right back to square one.
However, I do know that if I cut out dairy completely, it does help with the period-related spots. I can't give up cheese totally but I hardly ever have milk. The only other thing which made a real difference was stopping worrying about it so much, but I don't know how to give advice to get to that point, unfortunately :( I really hope you find a routine of some kind that works for you. Acne is truly awful.

@BlindAssassin1 Duac is on prescription as it contains an antibiotic as well as benzoyl peroxide. But you can get some weaker benzoyl peroxide creams OTC.

YANBU. I had awful hormonal cystic acne and it was nothing to do with washing my face / skin care etc. Also nothing to do with my diet / contraception. It was what it was.

Brimborium Thank you.

I tried most things and absolutely maintain that most acne is hormonal and comes from within.

It’s now better but not absolutely clear in my fifties but has been much better controlled by using Duac cream and I had a series of facials with microdermabrasion by a really good facialist which did help as she also loved doing extractions!

Diannette did work but killed my libido.

It’s a bastard.