To not want to see FIL Boxing Day (or ever)

[RollonSummer19]

Morning all! Name changed for this one.

FIL has invited DH, our 2yo DD and I to his new home with his new gf on Boxing Day. I don't want to go and I don't want DD going either... I don't like the man. He is a shit Dad and even worse Grandad.

Earlier this year he left his wife of 10ish years (not MIL) for this new woman after cheating for around a year. He did the same to DH's mum when DH was around 7, leavibg MIL with 3 chn to raise by herself and didn't see him for a couple of years.

He tries to bring his new gf to our house the day after he left his wife (someone we love and DD considers granny). We said no way you can't bring your new gf.

Since then FIL has not any attempt to see us or DD. He didn't send a card or call on DD's birthday. He has made no effort with her what so ever. He also almost ruined DH's stag do earlier this year which is too long a story to go into.

Anyway He is a selfish man and I have no desire to go to his house to play happy families in front of his new gf. I want to spend boxing day with DH and DD in our home (we never usually travel on Boxing day) and enjoy some time together.

AIBU?

Depends on what your DH thinks too.

Does FiL want to build bridges?

Sorry just to add, we've invited FIL over to see DD before or after Xmas in our own home where DD would be happy and without the gf. I don't want my DD introduced to a woman who isn't likely to be around long.

What does your DH think?

DH is cross about FIL's behaviour and how he's made no effort with DD but he doesn't want to lose him like he did when he was 7.
IMO if he is willing to put his bit on the side before his DS and GD then he's not worth worrying about.

I've suggested DH goes alone after boxing day in the week.

The GF could be around for another decade.
YANBU not wanting to see him on Boxing Day. However, if your DH wants to see his dad, could you meet up in, say, Pizza Express the following weekend. Meet the GF on mutual territory over lunch and then go your separate ways once lunch is finished.

That sounds reasonable. I just don't like how FIL expects us to play happy families and see DD when he hasn't given a shit about her for the past 10 months.

Oh, I know, Rollon. I'm not looking forward to seeing FiL and step-MiL who can go a year without seeing us but insist we meet up every Xmas. But DH wants to keep that contact so I do it for him. Wild horses wouldn't keep me from my DD so I will never understand parents who walk out on their kids.