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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be tired of some Mums Instagram/FB presence.

28 replies

jarhead123 · 17/12/2018 07:14

Sorry didn't know how to explain it in a title!

I've 2 friends who are lovely people but they seem to enjoy posting crap on Instagram/FB almost digging for compliments.

So one posts a photo of her kids packed lunch - every single day! And of course she gets people saying 'oh wow, can you make me lunch' - Hmm its just a lunch!

Another posts about the things she has to juggle this time of year like Nativity plays, teacher presents, seeing family, xmas jumper day etc cue replies like 'I don't know how you do it' and 'Super Mum'

I don't get it? It's the same for everyone, we're all normal Mums (or Dads) just trying to muddle through, not sure these people (or their friends) think they're any different?

I just laugh to myself. Irritates me but I guess perhaps they're not very confident in themselves.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 17/12/2018 07:19

Unfollow them then

Parky04 · 17/12/2018 07:32

Yep unfollow it's not difficult. I automatically unfollow people who check in to hospitals and GP surgeries!

Poodles1980 · 17/12/2018 07:35

Better still close your face book account. You won’t miss it

festivedogbone · 17/12/2018 07:36

Yep unfollow. I unfollow anyone who posts fishing for compliments stuff, partly because it makes me feel so crap in comparison!

Huntawaymama · 17/12/2018 07:36

Just unfollow them if you don't like it. You sound a little mean or maybe jealous you're not getting the super mum comments?

I have a friend who posts pictures of everything she gets up to with her kids and while I've heard other people bitch in the same way you have I "like" every one, she is a good mum and I try and be supportive of mums. Each to their own

YerAuntFanny · 17/12/2018 07:40

YANBU.

See also those who post pictures of EVERY outing they have with their child no matter how small.

It actually makes me wonder if they would bother doing anything if they couldn't put it out for the masses to see just how wonderful they are and also makes me a bit sad to think that kids can't go anywhere without their parent gaping at them through a screen asking them to smile.

Just enjoy the moment people, a natural private photo is much more special than a dozen coaxed ones and they really don't need to be shared with the world. We get it, you do stuff with your kid. Well done!

coolwalking · 17/12/2018 07:49

I had a post come up from an old pal which explained to everyone how amazing her DD is. Her school are so impressed she is reading at a level 2 years above.

How wonderful.

I couldn't care more about her child, I certainly couldn't care less

Camomila · 17/12/2018 08:15

Unfollow them then.
I like hearing about my friends DCs achievements/seeing how they've grown.

I unfollow people who post constantly negative stuff on mine.

NerrSnerr · 17/12/2018 09:06

You're in charge of your social media feeds so if you don't like it, change it. Just unfollow stuff you don't want to see.

JacquesHammer · 17/12/2018 09:11

Control your timeline. You’re in charge of your social media, make it work for you.

slappinthebass · 17/12/2018 11:25

Personally I think it's what Instagram is for. It's about being able to market your lifestyle. My hobby is photography and I've been able to gain freebie and discounts for tagging my posts, and I really enjoy it. I'm very honest and not a cringey #makingmemories #livingourbestlife type of poster though and I don't share everything. Facebook I only have real life friends on and rarely post anything personal at all. Different platforms for different purposes for me. The beauty of Facebook is you can hide people (and I have done for sharing too much).

WhyDontYouComeOnOver · 17/12/2018 11:40

I use my Instagram as a diary. I post the mundane and I post my thoughts, feelings and daily crap. If people don't like it, they don't have to follow me.

NonaGrey · 17/12/2018 11:42

Just unfollow them or scroll past.

One of my best friends is lovely in real life but drives me bonkers on fb. I just scroll past

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 17/12/2018 11:49

I hear you OP, it's tedious and needy. But you can't stop them posting stuff like that so best to unfollow them.

BlancheM · 17/12/2018 11:52

Mum bloggers and the likes are supposed to be relatable, you're meant to identify that's the point.
Follow something to do with other interests instead if you don't like people diarising their experiences.

HopeHopity · 17/12/2018 11:55

Unfollow then
I love looking at people's pack lunches because I am so out of ideas

Social media is great to express yourself, if your interest dont match her account simply unfollow

Ellisandra · 17/12/2018 11:55

If someone is posting EVERY day about her kid’s packed lunch, it sounds like she’s got her eye on become a professional Instragrammer, followed by thousands for lunch inspirations. Everyone has to start somewhere.

If so - it’s not the kind of thing that I would ever follow but LOADS of people do. So I’d think - fair play to you, and consider it like a business start up.

But I’d also unfollow Smile

And if some people need a lot of “you’re super mum!” encouragement, I would be annoyed, just a bit sad for them as I’d assume they were struggling. (only if it was All The Time. Occasionally showing off on Facebook is fine by me - I only have friends there, I’m happy and I care when something good happens for them)

And again... just unfollow.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 17/12/2018 11:56

I had to delete one friend as I couldn't take the daily run down of her life with her children. Posts like:

"off to the shop with both children alone, wish me luck" then two hours later "managed the shop with both boys" then later on it would be "off to the park with my boys" then "just home from the park with my boys"

It was endless! I didn't need an itinerary of her day everyday!

SilverBirchTree · 17/12/2018 11:57

YANBU. I feel worried about people who post like this, I assume they are insecure.

I have a moral problem with people posting about their children's childhoods. It's not their story to tell.

I don't think it's fair on their children to have a million tiny details of their young lives publicised when they are too young to understand or consent.

Once that data is out there- it isn't coming back.

Ellisandra · 17/12/2018 11:57

Having just said that sort of thing isn’t for me, actually... I could probably do with some lunchbox inspiration!

I’d get bored quick enough, but I’d enjoy that for a while - especially if there was a hook to it, like creative leftovers from dinner included, or the same ingredients used different ways throughout the week.

NameChanger22 · 17/12/2018 11:59

I have a friend who lives in LA. She gets hundreds of likes for everything she does, usually very normal and ordinary things; but because she lives in LA everyone thinks she's amazing. It's pretty annoying. I haven't unfollowed, I just don't bother with Facebook much.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 17/12/2018 11:59

One of my fb/instagram friend posts photos of her entire life every single day. What she's made for lunch, cake and coffee in Costa, stupid Elf, all her kids posing in their Christmas pj's, the dog, the cat, the new car, her newly painted nails, blah blah.

It's strangely fascinating Grin

festivedogbone · 17/12/2018 14:14

I have a moral problem with people posting about their children's childhoods. It's not their story to tell.

I don't think it's fair on their children to have a million tiny details of their young lives publicised when they are too young to understand or consent.

Agree 100%. Likewise sharing photos of children publicly. I unfollow anyone who does this. Sharing with friends/family only I don't really mind though, as presumably you'd chat with these people. It's sharing with the whole world that bothers me, especially when it's done in the hope of becoming (or as part of being) an "influencer" ie serving the parent's yearning for fame/money and using the children to further that goal.

Pomfluff · 17/12/2018 15:10

I don‘t think there‘s anything wrong in trying to become an influencer. I know a full time mumfluencer and it‘s a normal job that pays the bills and allows her to spend tons of time with her children without guilt. She‘s not exploitative in the slightest and her followers are all mums/mums to be who enjoy her content for inspiration or education.

Anyone posting daily about their children on FB is probably insecure/bored/attention seeking, and unfollowing is the best option. I had to do that with at least 4-5 mums on my list. Someone posting daily on Instagram with a public account is probably trying to become an influencer, which is quite awkward if you know them in real life but don‘t enjoy their content. Luckily there‘s the option to mute Instagram storied and posts without unfollowing them, so they‘ll never know (hold and press the round icon when a new post from their Instagram story pops up).

If it’s any consolation, being a professional influencer is incredibly competitive so most people simply give up after a while. It‘s actually quite a good lesson for many attention-seekers to realise that their lives and those of their children are far less interesting to strangers than they imagined it to be.

slappinthebass · 17/12/2018 20:41

Advertising is unavoidable in society. Personally I'd rather be advertised to by real life people on Instagram, supporting individual people who most of the time will only agree to advertise things they would genuinely use, than be advertised to by models on tv/billboards, having no choice about which adverts we see. Some people think it isn't fair to exploit your life or your children but I think it's very real, and a more honest, personal advertising. If we have to have one version I prefer it from influencers. I can't see the harm in sharing public pictures of children.