What would you do

[Paddington23]

Sister works in retail was told nans wake would be on the Saturday so busiest day of the year she’s managed to get it of. Just been told the crematorium is on the friday as well work won’t let her go to both I guess there’s nothing she can really do. I understand it’s unfair on all her colleges having only 2 days off at Christmas and she gets 4 but surely they allow for these kinds of things

I think it’s tough luck at this time of year unfortunately. Sorry for your loss

Thanks she’s taking it really well completely understands I just feel sorry for her having to work the day of the funeral

Could she switch to having Friday off then work an early shift on Saturday so she can make at least the end of the wake?

Is seperate days a thing?
All funerals I have attended are funeral then wake same day.

That’s really tough. If her work absolutely won’t let her take both I guess she will have to choose which one is more important. Unless she could swap shifts with someone who is off?

It’s a shame they are on different days, that’s going to make it hard for lots of people at a busy time of year. Your poor sister (and you, for your loss).

I think I wouldn't be planning a two-day event at this short notice at this time of year. I know it's really tough, but I would have done everything I could to get the funeral and wake on the same day.

As it is for her, I think she has to stick with the arrangements she's made. Really hard, though.

(Which event is more important I mean, the crematorium or the wake - I didn’t mean she had to choose whether work or the funeral are more important)

Think she'll have to decide which day out of the two (wake or funeral) more significant to her and ask to switch if need be? Or could she find someone at work willing to cover? How rotten for her. Sorry for yr loss. Sounds awful to say... but shame she didn't ring in sick for the 2 days but too late now I guess. Wouldn't normally suggest that but it's a sad time.

I’ll probably get slaughtered for this but I would go to both and face the consequences after. It’s a bereavement of a close family member, depending on how long she’s been at the job she may even be entitled to unpaid leave for it. In her position, I would politely explain to my manager that although it’s unfortunate timing I can’t miss either and therefore I won’t be at work at the Friday or Saturday. Sorry for your loss

She can’t choose as we live to far away for her to be able to come back Friday and get to work for Saturday she can only do Saturday as she has the Sunday off

Id say more extended family will turn up to the Saturday part as more will be off work, so that's probably the best day. Given she has been given it off already then she should leave it at that.

Could she swap a shift with a colleague?

I've never heard of the wake being a different day to the funeral, makes it much more difficult for those attending.
Your sister can't really expect to have an additional day off, one day for a funeral is the norm.

It’s imedate family only for funeral thats why and she can’t swap due to her being a supervisor she can only swap with a supervisor and there aren’t any that aren’t working that day

How big is your Family that Grandchildren aren't considered, immediate family?

I never said we aren’t imidiate family

I said it’s imidiate family only for the funeral as that’s why the wake but is the next day

I've never known that happen before - is this personal family preference or culturally how these things tend to be? I'm not criticising, I find it interesting when people do things differently to how I always thought was just "the way it was" for everybody.

When my grandmother passed we had a service at her church and then just immediate family went to the cream. We then joined the other mourners again for the wake, and some people found that unusual but I thought everyone did it! Sadly I've been to many more funerals since, but none where I only attended the wake.

I'm very sorry for your loss.