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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hold it together for Christmas is anyone else doing this

31 replies

LadyBathory · 16/12/2018 19:04

I want to leave my OH there’s been a lot of trouble (not abusive etc personal reasons) I’m going to do it we have a dd 15 months but is it fair to keep going until after Christmas? I don’t have anywhere to go, is anyone else going or gone through this?

OP posts:
ViragoKnows · 16/12/2018 19:05

I did. Apparently it’s very common and January is boom time for divorce lawyers and family courts Flowers

Original poster
LadyBathory · 16/12/2018 19:09

I’m glad to hear it’s not me, I wanted to split in August but we decided to try for a bit longer but I can’t keep it up. But I would feel shit ruining Christmas.

OP posts:
Justkeeprollingalong · 16/12/2018 19:11

Who would you be ruining it for? Your 15 month old baby won't notice.

purpleface · 16/12/2018 19:13

Yes, I am. Worse, I decided to end things 2 months ago, but decided then to wait until January so as not to be mid-breakup at Christmas. I hope you are okay and the atmosphere isn't too unbearable. Flowers

Urbanbeetler · 16/12/2018 19:13

Well, she will notice if you’re yelling at each other.

Hope it goes ok - there’s never a ‘good’ time but it’s often the best thing.

Mummadeeze · 16/12/2018 19:14

Hard one, don’t know what is worse really - struggling through Christmas feeling so unhappy and alone in your relationship or just trying to go it alone before the festive period. Do you have children? And if not, do you both have a support network who will be there for you so you won’t be totally alone on the actual Christmas days. Personally I would probably wait until January but it depends how bearable it is.

Mummadeeze · 16/12/2018 19:16

Sorry, just re-read that your daughter is a baby. Better now than when she is older. She won’t be aware re Christmas. If your husband is nice and you feel sorry for him, I would probably wait and be brave in the new year.

user838383 · 16/12/2018 19:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gottastopeatingchocolate · 16/12/2018 19:42

You have to do what's right for you - as long as you are all safe.

Getoffthetableplease · 16/12/2018 19:47

My now ex walked out on us 3 weeks ago and claims he would have liked to have waited until after Christmas but then I asked him too many times what was wrong. I'm going through the worst time of my life, I couldn't give a shit what time of year it is, the idea that we would have had a fake Christmas with him ready to run makes me feel physically sick. Stop the secrets and just properly talk already.

Original poster
LadyBathory · 16/12/2018 20:01

Technically we are okay right now, no real shouting or anything...

OP posts:
jocktamsonsbairn · 16/12/2018 20:09

Personally I'd go now - the sense of relief I felt was immense. It may be your happiest Christmas because you feel free.
But if you don't think you'll feel like that then weigh up the options. Your dd won't care. You can still give her the magic with twinkly lights and presents/gift wrap to play with wherever you are!!

Original poster
LadyBathory · 16/12/2018 20:16

I have no where to go though.

OP posts:
purpleface · 16/12/2018 20:41

Will you have somewhere to go next year? What will change after Christmas to make you able to leave?

Original poster
LadyBathory · 16/12/2018 23:07

him tonight he had sex with my friend

OP posts:
Original poster
LadyBathory · 16/12/2018 23:08

Left him

OP posts:
SoleBizzz · 16/12/2018 23:10

Oh no. Where did you go to, a hotel?

Original poster
LadyBathory · 16/12/2018 23:16

I have now no money I’m just hrs telling him it over and it’s better being a good father

OP posts:
Original poster
LadyBathory · 16/12/2018 23:16

I could have waited but I’m sick of it

OP posts:
namechanged0983 · 16/12/2018 23:24

I hope you're ok Thanks x

Original poster
LadyBathory · 16/12/2018 23:39

Thank you I’m as okay as anyone who decided to have a child with someone who then fucked there best mate the lied got them very pissed tried to have a three way then contuied fucking them could be

OP posts:
SuperSuperSuper · 16/12/2018 23:44

Take care of yourself OP. Don't fret about Christmas, your child won't know and who cares if his is spoilt.

Original poster
LadyBathory · 17/12/2018 00:29

Errrgh she’s still messaging me I hate them both

OP posts:
Original poster
LadyBathory · 17/12/2018 10:52

Okay sorry guys I was rather drunk last night. It’s a rather awkward morning

OP posts:
SuperSuperSuper · 17/12/2018 11:23

Oh OP. Don't apologise, there's no need. I hope you're as ok as you can be today.