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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to leave my engine running for ten mins at 6.45 each morning (M-F)?

801 replies

ThreeJumpersIsNotEnough · 16/12/2018 17:21

Neighbours have just come to the door with a Christmas card and a polite request to be more quiet in the mornings.

I usually leave at 7am to drop dd at breakfast club and get myself to work at 8am (I work Mon-Fri only - no weekends).

Now it's getting colder, the car is unbearably cold in the mornings so last week I started nipping out 10-15 mins earlier while dd was brushing her teeth so the car would be warm for us getting in and the frost/ice would be mostly melted from the window.

Neighbours have revealed that they are normally woken by me leaving most mornings at 7am but they can put up with it as I leave immediately so they are able to go back to sleep. However, they are not willing to put up with what I've been doing recently as they have found it impossible to go back to sleep having been awake for so long waiting for me to leave with the engine running ... Hmm

They have suggested I park further away from the house.

This is my first winter with these neighbours. They only moved in beginning of the year and we're polite to each other but not any more than 'hello' acquaintances. We live very rurally - just our two houses - in woodland area. Any noise carries and it is mostly silent (why I moved here - now I'm the one being a noise pest, it would appear). No street lights. 5 minute drive down our landlord's private (god awful road) onto the public road where there are other houses.

If I parked further away, that is further for me and DD to walk to the car each morning - in the pitch black - with our bags. Likewise, it is further for us to walk to the house each evening when we get back.

Not sure what the solution is. I told them I wasn't keen to park farther away (due to the above concerns) but they've asked me to give it a try at least for tomorrow. I've agreed to try it.

AIBU to ask for your ideas on what a peaceful resolution to this would be?

OP posts:
Original poster
ThreeJumpersIsNotEnough · 16/12/2018 17:41

Thank you Valsaca! Reassuring to know I've not been breaking the law for the past week at least. Yes - private land and road owned and maintained by our landlord.

OP posts:
ViragoKnows · 16/12/2018 17:41

We have jumpers on (her school jumper; my work fleece,) scarves, gloves, hat and winter coats and still freezing til the engine heats for the heaters to work sufficiently.

How do you think pedestrians manage? Wear coats.

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 16/12/2018 17:42

I don’t think YABU AT all, I do it most school mornings too...I don’t have neighbors. But I really don’t see the problem it’s the same as someone parked up waiting for you??!!

Please don't do it. Also, anybody waiting should not be running their engine either.

ems137 · 16/12/2018 17:42

Everyone round here does the same OP🙄

When I do the school run I also do the same. On the few occasions I've forgotten we all have to sit inside the cold car with the engine running waiting for the windows to demist anyway so what's the difference?!

SoupDragon · 16/12/2018 17:42

Those frost shield things are really good. I used to have them front and back and also rigged them up to do the sides too. A cover for your car might be easier though though!

Hot water bottles are wonderful. I remember going out one night and leaving one on my seat covered by a blanket. It was still warm when I drove home.

I have heated seats and windscreen now!

krustykittens · 16/12/2018 17:42

OP, just chuck a blanket over the windscreen the night before and it will be ice free in the morning. I use one of those thick blankets removal firms use to wrap furniture in and it has worked fine for me in the Scottish Borders.

Jaxhog · 16/12/2018 17:42

Yes leaving the engine running is selfish
Yabu. Very annoying (for your neighbours)

Wear gloves and extra jumpers like everyone else does! Put newspaper on your windscreen the night before too. It won't make your car warmer, but it will help with defrostihg the windscreen.

Original poster
ThreeJumpersIsNotEnough · 16/12/2018 17:42

Having a look at the windscreen frost guards just now. I bought one last year and thought it was crap. Kept blowing away. Clearly I need to invest in a better brand.

OP posts:
Missingstreetlife · 16/12/2018 17:43

Don't think people understand how loud this can sound, much worse than if you are in the car.
I would go out and turn your engine off myself, I might take your keys, you are lucky someone doesn't steal your car
Get an ice scraper and some spray, use a cloth to wipe inside windows. I think you can get a heater that runs on a battery.
So utterly unaware of how unreasonable this is I can't believe it not a reverse

Torsz · 16/12/2018 17:44

My windscreen freezes on the inside too - I have to have the engine running for about ten minutes before I have a chance of seeing through it, even after using deicer and water on the outside. It wouldn't be safe for me to set off any sooner so I don't have a choice! Fortunately my neighbours haven't made a problem of it yet (and several on my street do the same thing) so I have sympathy for you op!!

SoupDragon · 16/12/2018 17:44

If your car is parked on a non porous surface, if you pour water over your car it might freeze on the ground making it very slippery.

Purpleartichoke · 16/12/2018 17:45

Here the police have take to using those temporary road signs to remind people not to preheat their cars in the morning because it’s basically an open buffet for thieves. We live in a very nice area with very nice cars and the teams just drive through watching for some stupid person to leave their car running. They hop out of their car while the driver keeps going, hop into the waiting car, and are gone in seconds. We almost all have video doorbells at this point to combat package stealers and the entire spectacle gets caught on multiple cameras, but it doesn’t deter the car thieves.

AmayaBuzzbee · 16/12/2018 17:45

I get where you are coming from. My car’s windscreen is so misty inside most mornings that I simply can’t drive for the first 5-10min as I can’t see! I use kitchen towel and leather cloth to dry/clear it (and have water absorbing things by the windscreen at night and make sure nothing eet is left in tve car), but it still takes it’s time. Car is 4yrs old so it probably shouldn’t be this bad, but it is what it is.

feellikeanalien · 16/12/2018 17:46

My Dad used to put a fan heater in my Mum's car for about 10 minutes before she had to leave. Don't know if that's an option for you.

froggybiby · 16/12/2018 17:46

I wouldn't do that either. I know it's very cold & you can lose time when having to scrape the ice. What I do is when there is a chance of frost, I put some cardboard on the windscreen...it makes you save time in the morning Xmas Smile and is free.

SoupDragon · 16/12/2018 17:46

I think my frost guards had elastic straps that fastened inside the car and then you shut the door on them. Like a giant eye mask!

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 16/12/2018 17:46

When I do the school run I also do the same. On the few occasions I've forgotten we all have to sit inside the cold car with the engine running waiting for the windows to demist anyway so what's the difference?!

You don't have to wait, just wipe them clean.

It's your children who will breathe the filthy air you are creating.

HopeGarden · 16/12/2018 17:46

I wouldn’t pour warm / hot water on the windscreen in case it cracks the glass.

When I’m de-icing the car, I turn the engine on while I’m scraping the windows clear with my ice scraper (so the windscreen and rear window defrost faster), but that’s just a few minutes while I clear the windows, and we’re off out as soon as that’s done. I have a cloth to clear any condensation from the inside of the windscreen.

And we take blankets for the DC if it’s too cold for them to wait for the heaters to warm the inside of the car.

SassitudeandSparkle · 16/12/2018 17:47

Could you have a quick scrape in the morning and then drive a little further down the road and then park up to warm the car up a bit?

sackrifice · 16/12/2018 17:47

I've used the hot water bottle trick for years.

Pop a kettle on as soon as you go downstairs, fill bottle, pop it on the dashboard, go back in and after 15 mins the windscreen is defrosted, and the hot bottle on your lap whilst you drive.

30 mins on really bad days. 2 hot water bottles on really really bad days.

RangeRider · 16/12/2018 17:48

It's not very pleasant being a dog walker when all the people down the road do this and you have to walk along the pavement through the fumes...

TBDO · 16/12/2018 17:48

Keep the blanket for DD in the house, ideally over a radiator to warm up.

Front covers are great. If you don’t want to buy, I’ve seen people use an old towel. They have the windscreen wipers up and pop towel under. Not sure if they would damage the wipers longer term though. I’d sew a long strip of thin fabric to the two top corners of a towel and slam the thin fabric into the car door (each side).

Hohocabbage · 16/12/2018 17:50

do it for 5 as ds has severe asthma made worse by cold, on my drive tho
Isn’t asthma made worse by exhaust fumes too?
I would run the engine only for the time taken to demist, de-icer on the outside. We really are a nation of snowflakes if a healthy person can’t sit in a cold car for a while.

Moons1 · 16/12/2018 17:51

Disagree with majority, YANBU

BlueUggs · 16/12/2018 17:53

@ThreeJumpersIsNotEnough - I'm sorry, but -2 is cold, but not unbearably so!
How do you think people manage in Russia and Canada where it readily hits -20??!
Put an extra jumper, socks and gloves on. A "work fleece" is not very warm is it? Don't you have a "proper" coat?

I second the idea of flushing the radiator.