...to want to tell my mum to speak to me BEFORE she starts stewing?

[Moorhen]

Mother phoned me this morning at 8 as I was getting on to the train.
Started: You have GOT to stop DH driving so fast... your sister and I were being thrown around in the back of the car on Saturday... the baby would have been rattling around...
OK, I said, will pass it on. I have not travelled in the back so I did not realise it is different back there. I assure you I had a comfortable journey and also that to assume DH would not consider the safety of his child is a bit off.
It just encouraged her: Hoodie... boy racer... 31.... very angry that my daughter was being driven like that... if he had to stop suddenly you would have been in real trouble...
Thing is, DH has both a heavy right foot and a healthy enjoyment of his new car with the big engine. But I honestly did feel fine. And would have said something if I didn't.
V annoyed that rather than have a quiet word with him yesterday over the phone - because I didn't want to offend him, she says - she and sis have clearly spent Sunday stewing and slagged him off to me on Monday morning. AIBU?

Was he driving safely and within the law?

Yes. He is not a slow driver but I am a complete chicken and have always felt safe with him. He's done the police advanced driver course, as well.

If he was within the law and safe, then don't worry about it. Just remind him to drive that bit sower when your mum is in the car as she doesn't like it.

In the back of a car can be horrid though. Children seem okay as they have car seats holding them in place. But her the rest, it can be a really bumby rocky ride.

I think that it is reasonable for you to want her to speak to you before she speaks to other people. That said, I do share her concerns. Passengers in the back should not be thrown around, no matter how good the driver thinks he is. I have never met anyone yet who thinks they are a bad driver, but there are far too many people speeding on the roads.

She should have spoken to him before probably but I expect she felt awkward about it. It's not easy to critisise a mans' driving . And I think she shouldn't have been quite so stroppy with you - a quick word would have been sufficent.

However drivers often fail to realise how much more uncomfortable it can be in the back seat when you are going fast. Especially when the driver rarely sits in the back. My DH being a case in point! Get your DH to sit in the back and drive him fast and see if it changes his POV

Good points all, thank you. And both DH and I think mum had the beginnings of a fair comment about how different it is in the back of a car.

For me, the real issue is (as has been said on the thread) that she chose to get stroppy and totally overstate the case rather than have a quiet and sensible word.

And poor DH is mortified and angry that she honestly seems to believe it wouldn't occur to him not to drive fast with his own precious child in the car. As he said - adults in control of their own neck muscles are very different to a vulnerable new baby!

We're now really looking forward to when the baby's here, and there's lots more for her to worry about and "just mention"...

If he was within legal restrictions I think your mum just needs to get used to the back of the car. Maybe she was just angling for front passenger status

Agnes

my dp is the same. hes also done tha advanced course. he is a very careful driver and it pisses me off when people say he should be driving slower/more carefully with ds in the car.

ds saftey comes first and dp has never exceeded the speed limit or done any illegal manouveres whilst ds is in the car.

yanbu you know hes a good driver so dont worry about what others say