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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

People who don't sit in their own booked seats

262 replies

Badbadbunny · 16/12/2018 12:44

Is it just me or is there an epidemic of this at the moment. Yesterday, went to a football match with family, booked seats a few weeks ago to get a decent view, easy access to toilets etc and for us to sit together. When we arrived, two pairs of people were sat in the middle of our booked seats and wouldn't move, we asked the stewards for help, but they couldn't get these people to move either, so we just ended up sat in someone elses' seats who weren't happy with us, but we just referred them back to the steward who wouldn't help us. Last weekend, at the cinema, we booked seats online beforehand, again reserved seats, but when we got in, again, someone else sat in our seats so we had to sit somewhere else. Midweek, went on a 3 hour train journey to London, booked our seats on the Virgin website weeks ago, again, when we got on, someone else sat in them, again, wouldn't move as the train was full, again, the guard wouldn't move them on, so we ended up split up on odd seats elsewhere. Since when have people become so inconsiderate and rude that they don't sit in their own seats, and won't move when the person with the valid ticket asks them to????

OP posts:
JuniLoolaPalooza · 16/12/2018 20:16

I had this once going Bristol to York, so I wanted my seat and not have to shunt about.
It was a group of older blokes and I was so young at the time. They were like 'haha, we want to sit together, look love there's a seat over there'. I just said 'why do you think I shouldn't sit in the seat I've bothered to reserve and pay for?'. There was no answer to that and I got my seat. Still proud of myself for thinking of that on the hop!

Chloe84 · 16/12/2018 20:19

2 people refused to give up their seats so that the party could sit together

You asked people to give up their seats?! That's cheeky. You all had seats, did you really need to sit together?

Livelovebehappy · 16/12/2018 20:28

There is no way I would let people get away with it. It’s happened to me on a couple of occasions but hell would freeze over before I would walk away. I would just spend the entire time inwardly seething and not enjoy what I was there to watch if I just let it go. People can be so self entitled these days.

cantkeepawayforever · 16/12/2018 20:33

Chloe,

The party was of mentally handicapped late teens, supervised by my parents.

The seats were booked together to allow close supervision of these quite highly impaired young adults in a public place.

The two people refusing to move out of the seats that the party had booked jeopardised this - as two of the party could not safely sit elsewhere in the train alone, it would have meant one of my parents supervising one young person in another part of the carriage, leaving the other supervising the remainder, with the ratio not allowing appropriate supervision, and with no possible cover for e.g. toilet trips etc.

This was abundantly clear to the two people concerned, who stated quite clearly and profanely that they would not move out of the pre-booked seats for the party on account of their visible mental handicap.

cantkeepawayforever · 16/12/2018 20:36

(The seats booked were, IIRC, two tables of 4 exactly next to each other across the aisle - so if one carer went with someone to the toilet, the other carer would have had adequate supervision over the remaining 5.)

Theweasleytwins · 16/12/2018 20:43

I was on the eurostar several years ago with my parents. Someone came up to my dad and said he was sat in their seat- dad knows he isnt- refuses to move. Steward called over and turns out the other people were supposed to be in that seat- just on a completely different train

2beesornot2beesthatisthehoney · 16/12/2018 21:41

I was sat in my booked seat on a train. Mother, child who was a big 4 year old and grandma got on . They had booked 2 seats but really needed 3 due to size of child. Cue look of daggers at me to give up my aisle seat to one of them and move to window seat . I didn’t offer knowing that if that seat became reserved they were highly under likely to move back. I suggested gran took window seat beside me . More daggers but eventually taken until you guessed it , it became reserved.
I used to reserve and pay for seats with a family railcard even when dc were babies. So we had enough room !

MulticolourMophead · 16/12/2018 22:03

I have IBS and can practically fart on demand. Believe me, I would have no hesitation at letting a few go, as I’m standing with my ass in their direction. Mind you, I’d probably end up with the whole carriage to myself.

Half a carriage. Given the efforts of my dad, brother and son, I'm practically immune these days Grin

amicissimma · 16/12/2018 22:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wigwambam10 · 16/12/2018 22:16

Mentally handicapped- really!!!

Anyway I once put my 18 month old on a mans knee in my table seat and said he will need changing in about half an hour
He moved

dontticklethetoad · 16/12/2018 22:29

Bluesmartiesarebest you are my hero!

cantkeepawayforever · 16/12/2018 23:41

Wiwambam,

Apologies for the use of what is now outdated terminology, and any offence inadvertently caused. 'Severe learning difficulties' would be the current term.

I was harking back in memory to the days of my childhood, when Mencap acquired its name from the terminology then used for those it served, and when my beloved mum, now very elderly, was not starting to wander down the byways of dementia.

My apologies again for any offence caused. In my defence, the name given to them by those who refused to move from their seats was very, very much more offensive.

nutellalove · 16/12/2018 23:46

YANBU. I'd be so annoyed. Train guards should be able to hand our fines for people sitting in the wrong seats Hmm

LimitIsUp · 16/12/2018 23:59

I book the premier seats at the cinema and there is frequently some chancer who has booked the standard seats sitting in my seats. They have always moved with little objection - although one person did eye me resentfully whilst moving.

PointlessPigeon · 17/12/2018 00:28

Love this

Graphista · 17/12/2018 00:47

Many authority figures have become so fucking spineless in uk now it's ridiculous! Why are they so ineffectual?

If your job requires exerting authority you should have the skills and training to do so and the backing of management if people are arses!

Then such rude, entitled behaviour would happen much less.

I have an independent cinema locally, one of the reasons they're successful despite various multiplexes not too far away is they won't tolerate disruptive behaviour. There's clear signage stating this and it's well known locally. So if customers talk loudly, kick chairs in front etc they're removed. I've never in almost 10 years living here (and it's supposedly a 'rough' area too) heard of anyone daring to kick off if the ushers tell them to go. They're given 1 warning and if the usher has to speak to them again they're gone - no refund.

Another local place is the complete opposite, really lax in dealing with customers bad behaviour and it's lost them a lot of trade. The management that's like this have only been there just under a year, I will not be at all surprised to learn the management are gone or the place gone bust in next few months.

It's also up to us as consumers to complain, we're very bad at this in uk (generally) as we tend to 2 extremes - silently seething but saying nothing to anyone, so they can't rectify, or going way ott and expecting the company we're complaining about to do things that just don't make sense and/or being rude and aggressive.

Other nationalities (generally) take a middle road and complain effectively but politely and assertively, while also being clear if the issue isn't resolved they'll take their custom elsewhere, and as a result customer service is much better.

Op in your position I would contact the company and clearly, calmly explain what happened, what you would have preferred to happen, what resolution you want now.

As a result of being in roles where I've dealt with customer complaints, plus having a dad that has a real skill for doing this, I've learnt over the years to be a really effective complainer - when necessary.

I was really shy and nervous about it when younger, now I don't worry, I make complaints in the manner I described when it's necessary and while I'm persistent and quite tenacious I never so much as raise my voice. But I also don't allow myself to be fobbed off.

It's hard getting the balance right but definitely worth learning.

With the offending cf customers you describe again "peaceful protest" is very effective. I'm a diminutive 5'2" but that actually works in my favour as if they come across as at all aggressive makes them look very unnecessarily aggressive bullies "picking on a wee old wifie" 😂 and most people don't want to be seen that way.

But I also complain to those in charge & expect them to do their job!

My mum - also a "wee old wifie" once stood in the gangway of a train right next to someone who'd taken her reserved seat on a London to glasgow train. She sat my bro right next to him (total pita on long journeys) and soon as the arse needed a pee she took her seat back and refused to move when he came back - she has a cast iron bladder so he couldn't do same to her & of course couldn't complain cos it was her seat!

My aunt once plonked my snotty cold ridden cousin on the lap of a lady that refused to let my aunt use her booked seats while she fetched the guard - this was 70's and guard also took no prisoners and told the lady to move or he'd have the train stopped until she did!

"The problem is, train conductors and venue staff can't physically move people. They can only put hands on a customer if that person needs to be restrained. They can't drag someone out of a seat. Their 'power' is reliant on their patrons following the instructions they give. If do move refuses, there isn't much they can do for fear of bring charged with assault." Sorry but that's no excuse for no action at all! They can assertively and authoritatively ask them to leave, they can refuse eg to start the film until they do, refuse them as customers in the future and tell them so - there's lots they can do that doesn't require physically removing them!

Certainly where I am train conductors & such won't hesitate to get police involved the SECOND some arse tips into any kind of aggressive or antisocial behaviour. It's one of the things I really loved when I first moved back to Scotland. I was on a bus not long after I moved back and a guy JUST missed it, the driver had closed the doors and was slowly leaving the stop. Guy ran in front of his and punched the windscreen to try and get driver to stop and let him on. Driver refused, alerted bus company with description - which basically meant the guy wasn't getting on ANY bus that day! I asked my parents & aunt what would happen if he kicked off with other drivers and they told me the bus company wouldn't hesitate to report him to police and that police here take a very dim view of such behaviour and would have spoken to him warning him he cannot behave like that and what could happen if he did again. Not long after I read a local paper article where a (different - clear from description) iirc guy was barred from using the local buses for 6 months.

If those with the authority to deal with such people do so, the behaviour is less likely.

"See, that might work and then again it might not.. and if it doesn’t (assuming no aggro from the seat squatter), you’re just likely to piss off other people just going about their business in their allocated seats" if I'm a customer in my allocated seat witnessing/being affected by someone else trying to access THEIR allocated seats the person I'm gonna be pissed off with is the arse who's sitting in a seat that isn't theirs, that they have no right to and who is blocking it from the rightful occupant! Not the poor dude, who possibly paid extra to reserve, trying to get what they booked!

OliviaStabler · 17/12/2018 07:10

You asked people to give up their seats?! That's cheeky. You all had seats, did you really need to sit together?

Who cares if they 'really needed to sit together'. Those are the seats they booked and paid for. You attitude is like the people who are cf's.

hamandpease · 17/12/2018 07:11

@Chloe84 how on earth is that 'cheeky'?!?!

Juells · 17/12/2018 07:51

When I was in college there was a small cinema nearby that ran cartoons all day. The ushers were ruthless - if anyone caused problems the ushers would stand at the end of the row of seats with a torch shining on the offender's face until he (it was always a he) piped down, stopped kicking the chair in front, or left.

XXcstatic · 17/12/2018 08:03

Who cares if they 'really needed to sit together'. Those are the seats they booked and paid for. You attitude is like the people who are cf's.

This. Would I have moved? Yes, but I am fit and able to stand & move easily. You can't expect people to move from pre-booked seats, which they might need for all sorts of reasons.

HoppingPavlova · 17/12/2018 08:08

If it’s at movies/sporting event/concert just stand directly in front of them so they can’t see and if others tell you to move just keep repeating ‘they are in our seats and refuse to move so we are not moving until they give us our seats’. Crowd pressure usually makes them move. It doesn’t work for trains etc though as you can only stand in the aisle which doesn’t bother the person at all.

Booboostwo · 17/12/2018 09:25

I was flying with 18mo DS. He had to be on my lap for take off/landing/turbulence but he was a very wriggly toddler so I had paid extra and booked the seat next to me. We had window and centre seats. When I boarded a couple were sitting in our seats and wanted us to move to their aisle and aisle seats so they could sit together - we were all in the same row.

They refused to budge when I explained , until the steward got involved. Even she had to get quite cross with them before they moved.

I breastfed DS during the flight and the guy kept shouting down the plane aisle “She’s breastfeeding! She’s breastfeeding in the middle of the plane!” Until he was shushed by another passenger. What an arse!

Chloe84 · 17/12/2018 09:34

@cantkeepawayforever

The seats were booked together to allow close supervision of these quite highly impaired young adults in a public place.

Oh I see, I wasn't sure because you said '2 people refused to give up their seats so that the party could sit together', but as you had booked the seats then that's definitely cheeky of them!

ShotsFired · 17/12/2018 09:56

I regularly take a longhaul flight in business class (so masses of room, lie flat beds, all the good stuff).

There was a man and his adult son in the row in front of me. When the steward was making his preflight rounds he was confused as to who the son was, as he wasn't on his list of BC pax.

Turned out the son was on an economy ticket, but thought that because his mum had cancelled her business class seat at the last minute, he'd be find to just jump in her seat instead!

This all happened while all the aisle curtains were still open, so everyone in the economy cabin behind watched him get all his stuff together and slink back about a dozen rows and sit down again.

Juells · 17/12/2018 10:03

because his mum had cancelled her business class seat at the last minute

The only thing I wonder about that is...I wonder if his mother got a refund? If she didn't, I can see why he'd want to plonk his bum in her comfy seat.

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