To want to cancel Christmas

[IvannaBeAlone]

I just can't face going out in a fruitless attempt to buy presents for 3 people. The only 3 in my life that I will really feel guilty about if I don't. My DH, my DM and my step-dad. For context, DM is a frail 89 year old and this could well be her last Christmas. I haven't seen her for 3 months due to being ill (colds and bad cough) as well as feeling particularly antisocial.
I know I suffer from SAD. My DM knows absolutely nothing about my health and wouldn't understand if I told her I'm often too depressed to leave the house. Step-dad probably just thinks I can't be bothered.

How can I reconcile my feelings of being useless with the feeling that I should be trying to make an effort?

Do you have someone who could go with you? I do feel for you. It's awful when we're just not feeling it.

If you could do it all in one shop then that would help. Is there a good garden centre where you could do it? And have a coffee and look at the nice plants etc?

Does your she know how you feel?

Sorry. Does your dh know how you feel?

Agree with your husband no gifts and arrange a trip or similar instead.

Send your mum lovely flowers and step dad something consumable (whiskey). Organise both online so you don’t have to battle the shops.

Look after yourself.

DH knows and is trying to encourage me to go out but he doesn't like shopping at the best of times. It might help if I had even a vague idea of what to buy. He's pretty useless in that department too. Part of the problem is that I really want to get presents that are appreciated, rather than any old tat. I feel so dead inside I can't even come up with ideas about what to buy.

Shop online then

Depending on how much you want to spend on them:
Garden centres- larger ones will have clothes, scarves, gloves etc, food/chocolates/wines/hampers, gardening related, bird feeding, books, DVD’s and CD’s, house and garden ornaments as well plants, and mean you don’t have to go trailing around the shops.
Magazine subscriptions - gift that last six months/a year and can be done on-line
National Trust or English Heritage membership.

Separate the issue from Christmas and the presents. If you managed to force yourself to wrap up and go out for a short walk and get a little freash air you would feel better. A small goal

Exactly the situation online shopping is for. I go out everyday but haven't bought anything that can't be delivered.

Could we help with ideas for presents?

Would it help if you have a firm idea of what you want to buy?

Order a book for everyone from amazon. Job done.

Does she like music? I've just bought my mum a load of Cds of music she listened to when she was young. She owns the same albums but all on vinyl and no way of playing them. All bought online so no actual shopping involved.

You've emotional energy enough to sustain a conversation on here, you can do some online shopping whilst you're here.

Give us a budget and tell us something about the recipients, we can give you suggestions.

Yes, let us help, between us we can do it.

I also agree about garden centres, they are great for gifts, free parking, tea and cake as a reward when you are done.

What about a hamper delivered from Waitrose for your mum and SD?

Chat to your DH about how you feel if you haven't already.

It's a tough time of year in many ways.

Not what you asked but do you use a SAD lamp? I've been using one and think it definitely helps.

Prime will do it. And take a vit d tablet.

Op does not your dm have Internet access. I would buy her Google home if so and she can talk to it for loads of stuff. Weather, time music, pod casts

Some chocolates and a poinsettia for your mum, and whiskey for your dad.