Dp shuts me down

[LolaLi]

Every time I try to talk about our 'issues'

Seems he has no intention of talking about things

AIBU to take this as sheer disrespect for me and my feelings?

Well it seems he's completely disregarding my feelings because he has no interest in discussing them?

Not always.

You need to give more info. What happened does he refuse to talk at all, ever. Etc.

Some people just find it hard. I sometimes need space and the can talk about things. I can't always do it when other want me to be able to.

It seems to be that he wants you to STFU and he doesn’t care about you or your feelings .

This won’t work in the long term. Do you want to stay with him ?

We have a family, I do want to stay with him but I can't carry on like this.

We aren't intimate. It's been like it for nearly 2 years (maybe slept together 5 times in that time)

He never wants to talk about it. We can't come to a solution because having a discussion about it is out of the question

I know he isn't cheating and I do think that he loves me and wants to be with me

He's had plenty space. I rarely try to talk, I'm considerate of his feelings and I just want to understand him more but we can't even get to that point

I have had this. It’s the most frustrating thing because the issues don’t even stand a chance of being fixed if you can’t talk about it, and he’s refusing to do that. Unfortunately in my experience, you wil end up resenting him so much and getting so fed up of the unaddressed issue that the relationship will die. I’m sorry to sound so pessimistic! But what can you do?

You need to give more precise detail and post this on Relationships.

Right, Pont! Trying to talk is such a chore now but I need to understand why it's like this, I can't just keep feeling like I'm the problem.

I'm sorry it ruined a relationship of yours. People are their bloody egos

If you are the type of person who wants in depth conversations about 'issues' and he doesn't... Who is right and who is wrong really?

There's nothing worse than being forced to 'talk things out' if you don't want to.

You're obviously unhappy that he doesn't feel the need to go over things with you and it's frustrating but there's not much you can do.

He may well think you're being disrespectful towards him if you keep pushing an issue. You can't force someone to talk.

People and their egos*

WhiteDust while I completely agree with you saying he may not be the type to want to talk, surely as adults when we encounter problems- we discuss them, like adults and then move on from said problems...

What about putting it all in a letter to him.

Of course you can’t force someone to talk. But if there’s no mechanism to Resolve issues in the relationship, then all the OP can do is put up or leave.

And expecting your partner to put up and shut up while you do what you like is abusive.

And expecting your partner to put up and shut up while you do what you like is abusive.

There's the conflict. Two incompatible people.
Expecting your partner to put up and shut up is out of order.
As is insisting that your partner talks about issues they don't want to talk about.

LolaLi
Some people just can't talk about certain issues. It sounds like OP's DH has built a wall and this is why some marriages end.

If you are the type of person who wants in depth conversations about 'issues' and he doesn't... Who is right and who is wrong really?

It's not about who's right and who's wrong so much as how is the relationship going to survive if they cannot discuss the problems they are facing. It's not really good enough to say that you don't want to talk about things and forcing the other person to either put up with whatever it is that's going on or end the relationship. If he has no intention of trying to resolve their problems, he could at least do the OP the courtesy of letting her know that he has no interest in working on their relationship and let her decide whether she wants to live with that.