To not want to visit on Boxing Day!

[JKCR2017]

I can’t believe Christmas is here again. This year we have decided to have Christmas Day at home. In previous years we’ve visited my family and the in laws. We’ve spent half the day in the car and the kids don’t get chance to look at anything.

So it was decided that we visit my family on Christmas Eve for a bit and the in laws are coming to visit on Christmas Day.

My mother wants us over for Boxing Day she insisting we come along for dinner. If we see them Christmas Eve aibu to think that we don’t have to see them Boxing Day?

We aren’t overly close but see each other at Christmas. DS has autism and gets overwhelmed when there’s too many people in one space, my mum has 7 cats and OH is allergic and gets really sneezy with them. Also OH is on a 12 hour shift starting at 5am the next day so we want to home and settled ideally. I’d rather visit in the morning but she’s insisting we have dinner there as won’t have Christmas dinner there anymore.

Is it rude to say no? we had our hopes on our own Christmas Day and Boxing Day st home as Oh has to go back to work after!

Bearing in mind they live half an hour away too and we will be going to see them on Christmas Eve!

One day over the holiday is fine. Not rude

I’m totally with you.
Last year we spent Christmas Eve with DH’s family, Christmas Day with my parents and then Boxing Day with my extended family - 3 days where we travelled at least an hour each way and my kids (now 2 & 3) didn’t get a chance to play with any of their new toys etc.
This year we’ve said we will go to my parents’ for Christmas Day, but will not be travelling again on Boxing Day to spend an afternoon in a room with a bunch of people who all have a problem with someone else in that room but no one will say anything I’m not going to play happily families just “because it’s christmas”.
I’d rather stay home and staple my face to the carpet thanks

The 5am shift is enough of a good reason. Not rude at all as you are already making the effort on Christmas eve. You deserve to enjoy Christmas as a family in your own home if you want to.

I struggle with the fact that as a family with kids working long hours, we’re supposed to host big groups, and visit and drag ourselves round on long car journeys, and it’s unacceptable to say we just want a couple of days at home on our own to rest and enjoy the kids. But apparently this is totally shocking, joyless and selfish. Hmmm.

Just say you have a panto show or cinema trip booked or friends coming over for lunch on boxing day.