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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you say anything or leave it

17 replies

Paddington23 · 15/12/2018 20:43

Friend invited me to a Christmas party at hers a month ago said that me and my party could stay over too and that all her other friends where coming. Never heard about the party again so assumed it wasn’t happening tonight is the party and it’s definitely happening by the looks of instagram. She canceled on meeting the girls for a bit of Christmas shopping last week but text me today asking if she could come but canceled due to her massage taking over an hour and a half and she didn’t realise. When ever I have had a massage you pay per time slot like 25 mins 45 mins an hour etc. In the summer I suggested birthday plans and she said she could get free tickets of her dad then when I asked a week later she said she was going with her partner and other friends to late to get tickets as had sold out. Her birthday night out we all made a huge effort she sulked all evening and then went home early her partner works away a lot and comes home on random days she’s always available when he’s away but if he’s coming home she will cancel any plans. As far as I’m concerned the friendship is over my other friend agrees. We’ve fallen out in the past and not spoken but this is the final straw do I say anything to her to let her know or just let it fizzle out by ignoring her

OP posts:
Original poster
Paddington23 · 15/12/2018 20:56

She’s also been generally shit friend over the years never on time was once an hour late to dinner and basically said I’m sorry if you feel that way when I mentioned I was upset and angry that we had been sat here an hour

OP posts:
ForAMinuteThere · 15/12/2018 20:58

She's not worth the hassle. Just don't make any effort from now on.

dragonsandfairies · 15/12/2018 21:01

If my partner worked away I'd want to cancel plans too on the occasions he came home.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 15/12/2018 21:12

Agree with what @dragonsandfairies says.

Regarding the rest of it, I'd just leave her to it.

C0untDucku1a · 15/12/2018 21:15

Cancelling. plans when her husband is rarely home is acceptable.

Everything else says shit friend.

DerelictWreck · 15/12/2018 21:30

You were invited to the party but haven't turned up - how is that better than her cancelling plans with you?

Original poster
Paddington23 · 15/12/2018 21:33

She never gave me a date or a time just said I was invited over a month ago and never mentioned it’s since I thought it was cancelled

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user1474894224 · 15/12/2018 21:35

I don't get it? Your friend invited you to her party. It's happening when she said. You haven't gone. And she's in the wrong? (Why didn't you just double check with her it was still happening?) - Maybe you need to stick your party frock on and get over there quick so you don't look like a meany.....and have a good excuse as to why you are so late....

Sugarhunnyicedtea · 15/12/2018 21:36

I agree with DerelictWreck
You accepted an invite and haven't turned up. At least she actually cancels - unless I've missed something

Original poster
Paddington23 · 15/12/2018 21:36

And it’s never plans like coffe it’s always big plans like day trips where I’ve booked time of work nights out where I have got an outfit I would say he works away every other week

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 15/12/2018 21:38

If you didn't have a date, why did you put "tonight is the party"?

Did you ask her directly for the details?

Original poster
Paddington23 · 15/12/2018 21:41

Well because I’ve seen on Instagram that the party’s tonight I thought it was a passing comment from her and an invite would come my way closer to the time or a text with time and date. Just hurts that she cancled on our plans because her partner was home and now he’s gone out with mates for the day she suddenly wants to meet up again but cancles and hour before hand due to a massage and has a party for her so called friends

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 15/12/2018 21:42

I don't really understand this either, why did you not ask for the details , but if you don't like her and want to fall out like your 12, rock on.

Original poster
Paddington23 · 15/12/2018 21:45

I forgot all about it to be honest until tonight

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arethereanyleftatall · 15/12/2018 21:50

You don't have to be friends with anyone you don't want to be, for whatever reason. Your post doesn't make much sense, but if you don't like her, don't be friends with her.

user1474894224 · 15/12/2018 21:53

She probably thought it wasn't a big deal cancelling today as she was going to see you tonight.....maybe she's just a bit s* at organising stuff. You should have asked about the party.....

Original poster
Paddington23 · 15/12/2018 22:26

How was she supposed to think I was coming to the party if I was given no date or time and she Actually mentioned getting food yesterday I replied what for she said I’m having a party it didn’t click that she had invited me until I remembered are conversation

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