Having doubts about adopting cat

[CrimsonCloverHoney]

My friend is wanting to rehome her 7 year old cat due to lack of time/space to take care of her properly. I half-jokingly said that I would have her which all spiralled so quickly and now my friend is asking when she can bring the cat over.

I'm having doubts now and wondering whether it's a terrible idea. It's just me and 4 year old dd at home in a private rented house. We had a cat up until last year but sadly she was run over.

I love cats but I'm wondering whether I'm being too hasty in agreeing to this and worried I'll regret it. What would you do in my position?

Well, you're obviously used to having a cat and know what it involves - also presumably your landlord's okay with it if they knew about the previous one

Can I ask what's causing you to hesitate this time?

Getting a pet is a significant commitment, not a half-joke to be taken advantage of by a desperate pet owner who is no longer coping.

Can you tell your friend you were never being wholly serious, and apologise for the misunderstanding?

You could point your friend in the direction of a cat shelter if she wants to rehome her cat? (Not sure how that would work, do they only take in stray/abandoned animals? I’ve no clue.)

You might have to be a bit broken-record about it if your friend is stressing out at the whole situation.

Can you afford the vet bills?

As long as your landlord is ok with it, what's stopping you? Are you worried that you won't have the time/money/energy to look after the cat? Is it all moving too fast for you? It sounds like you've thought about getting another cat but haven't made a final decision - maybe it's not the right time for you? You shouldn't agree to take the cat unless you're prepared to keep it, which is a very long term commitment. So if you're not sure, you should probably say no to your friend.

How have you felt about the cat shaped hole in your lives?

Landlord is fine with it so that's not an issue. I suppose

Vets bills I would struggle with if something went seriously wrong but I would take out insurance. I suppose I'm worried about the commitment and how my life might change over the next few years. I don't want to take the cat on when I'm feeling so uncertain. It's so awkward now because I practically said yes and now I'm regretting it!

Tell her your landlord said no, if you want an excuse?

About 6 years ago, after my lovely cat died, a colleague needed to rehome her cat and I said I'd take him because I felt sorry for him. I then immediately regretted it because I wasn't sure I was ready, and because I hadn't chosen him in particular. For the first couple of weeks I regretted it and wished I hadn't taken him - but then he wormed his way in to my affections and I adore him now. He's the cuddliest, sweetest, most loving cat I've ever known and I can't imagine being without him.

Have you met the cat? Pets are a commitment and a tie - although cats are the least demanding in that respect. Only you know if you really want one or not.

Maybe if you came to an agreement that whenever you want to go on holiday/ be away from home she should look after it for you so it’s not such a huge tie. Or say you’ll take it for a trial period of a month and if it’s not working she can have it back?

Any chance you'll have to move from your current place? A lot of landlords wouldn't be ok with pets which will be awful if you and DD do adopt this cat.

I love our cat dearly but would think twice about getting another because the cost keeps going up. We pay out over £50 a month for her already and she's still quite young.

Good luck with the decision.

If you have any doubts than maybe not. That does not mean you might have one in future.

As a cat owner of two 10 year old cats, if you are having doubts don’t commit. I think if you are conscientious owner, having cats is not as straightforward as people generally believe.

It doesn’t sound like you really expected to have the cat to begin with, so I’d politely decline now (landlord doesn’t like cats/ we may have to move near future/ daughter is horribly allergic, etc)

@ShinyMe what a gorgeous cat!!

OP, obviously you have cat experience but only you can know if you can cope. I've had our cat for nearly 14 years, she's hardly ever had anything wrong with her and costs barely anything, lovely neighbours feed her if I'm away. She's lovely company too. My household has always been just DD and me, and DD would get home from secondary school to be greeted by our very affectionate cat, would spend a few hours with her before I arrived home from work at 7ish. I only realised what importance the cat had when she wasn't there to meet DD one afternoon and DD called me in floods of tears ..... cat turned up later that evening. Even now I have to send several photographs per week to 21 year old DD at university.

I would if you think you could make it work.

I lost my beloved cat in a road accident too, OP. Three weeks later an identical young tabby turned up and nobody claimed her/she wasn't chipped.
I wasn't planning to keep her as I was grieving my other girl badly but she wormed her way into my affections and I wouldn't be without her now.
Only you can know if the time is right. I pay £12 a month insurance as a precaution as vet bills can be awful.
Maybe go and visit the cat a few times and see if you get along.

In what ways are you expecting your life to change? I'm not understanding properly what your concerns are. We have all kinds of pets. The cats are probably the easiest out of them all. All our animals are rescues and I've had a little "what have we done" wobble when each one had arrived. You have to decide whether it's just stage fright or a serious wobble.

The issue is not necessarily what your current landlord thinks about a cat but whether, if you needed to move, future landlords would accept you as tenants. We found that many properties were unavailable once we declared we had cats. It wouldn’t be fair to the cat or to your dd to have to rehome again.

You'll be fine. Sometimes our lives need a shake up! I understand that wobble. But you have a home to offer an unwanted cat. Never offer a home, half jokingly again!

Well as previous posters have mentioned - one day I will move house (most likely to another rented property) and many landlords don't accept pets. I think that's what worries me the most. And I struggle with change. I've agreed to have her on a trial basis but told her I can't definitely keep her.

Thanks @Lobsterquadrille2! He's a total poser, and he knows how gorgeous he is. Your girl is gorgeous too.

I'm a sucker for cats who need you - I also share an outdoor cat who lives between me and next door, and has done for about 9 or 10 years. He doesn't want to be an indoor cat, but he'll come and look pathetic and loving, eat a large meal, sit near on the sofa for a bit and then go next door.

I'm probably going to fall in love with her and wonder why I ever posted about this. I think this is just a wobble

Congratulations on your new cat

It's hard letting another cat in after one you've loved has died. In my experience though, it's worth it. I just started tearing up at the end of Strictly, and my boy woke up, climbed on my lap and started nuzzling at my face.

Shineyme your cat is adorable.

OP, maybe this cat is meant for you. i hope it works out.