to think it’s completely unfair that they only use very slim/ firm models to advertise shapewear...?!

[CrossedToTheDarkSide]

Hear me out ladies.

Just popped into M&S (in the Christmas Armageddon rush... I must be mad) to get some shapewear as i’m having a crisis about underwear to wear under fancy Christmas party dress... And all the ladies on the packaging/ hangers etc who are wearing said shapewear to advertise it look like either gym honed goddesses or svelte teenagers. NOTE: Absolutely NOT body shaming any of the gym honed goddesses or svelte teenagers. I am a full body-positive believer and tbh I think diversity is fantastic. HOWEVER you are trying to sell me Bridget Jones knickers to hold in all and sundry wobbly bits and assure me with your packaging that I will look like Kate Moss. And then when I go and try them on... I’m left pinging and stretching and swearing and getting all bloody hot and bothered because no... a size 14 (i’m normally a very pear shaped 12-14) in your magic underwear does not conceal every lump and bump beautifully. It makes me look like a witchey-grub stuffed in a condom. A very very small condom at that.

Is it just me and my lardy arse who has found it very difficult to ever judge and pick flattering shape wear. Or are there others who feel equally as lied to?!? Please cheer me up and tell me i’m not alone before I drown my sorrows and eat the contents of the entire kitchen.

I think you need a bigger size than normal in shapwear if you stand any chance of sitting down or bending.

I’ve given up wearing it now, it’s gives me awful trapped wind and then I’m uncomfortable all night needing to fart.

Good luck.

Oh this pisses me off so much. I just don’t get why it’s advertised on washboard abs. If I had washboard abs, I wouldn’t be looking for shapewear.

YANBU.

I watched QVC the other day for the first time in ages and was pleased to see them showing a clothes range (available in sizes 10 to 24) on both a 10/12 model and a 18/20 model. The 'trousers' were swingy on the smaller model and on the larger model looked very much like leggings. So it matters!

Coincidentally they were then selling shapewear straight afterwards and they had it modeled on a perfect and beautifully toned 8/10, 5'9'' model. I remember thinking

Oh thank god it’s not only me!! I have quite a little waist but huuuge bum and “hip dips” and then big chunky thighs. All most shapewear does is smooth my already okay waist and then leave a loada digging in bits and big ugly bumps and lines where it finishes. I would be in top to toe Spanx onesie type affairs to completely smooth everything. At least it’s not just me! And why the hell we have a tradition of fancy parties and nice dresses when it’s the time of year where food is everywhere 24/7 I have no idea.

There’s an ad on Facebook/Instagram for some shapewear and they have ‘real’ people putting them on and showing their flabby bellies before and after. Quite refreshing!

OP don't wear them, they are instruments of torture! Get a dress with a bit of swirl and glitter that you love and feel good in. Sod the iron pants!

I am rather inclined to tell you to not wear them at all.

Instruments of torture, et cetera, et cetera.

But you are right that the whole beauty industry likes to have things modeled by women who don't need them.

Beautiful young women with unblemished skin don't need make-up or wrinkle cream, but they are usually the ones presenting them. That, or some slightly older woman with remarkably nice skin.

Has ever any hairy-legged woman appeared in an advertisement for lady razors?

So not really unusual for gym goddesses to model shapewear.

I like to take it as a sign that the entire beauty industry is bullshit.

I know I know! Tbh I wasn’t even looking for anything to especially “suck it all in” but needed something to not show underneath the dress as very light coloured and easy to see through fabric. Absolutely love the dress and won’t part with it. But my god is it a faff getting something to wear underneath!!
I whole heartedly agree though. They should make nice flattering underwear TRUE TO SIZE which allows women of any size to feel comfy AND look nice in any dress. But you either get Granny pants e.g baggy and up to your armpits and an awful colour. Or a teeny tiny thong. OR shapewear.
A brand I follow who make amazing tights recently launched a reinvented “body” anti-shapewear thing. I thought it sounded amazing. Til I realised it was over £100!! Dear god would need to give my head a good wobble before I bought into that. Comfy nice pants search continues!!

It makes me look like a witchey-grub stuffed in a condom. A very very small condom at that.
This made me laugh!

If it helps, I'm reasonably petite and still manage that look in shapewear complete with huffing and puffing to get in the bloody things. It's just not possible for anyone to comfortably wear them in my experience.

@Maisypops thank god it isn’t just me!! Honestly I was caught between hysterically laughing at myself and crumpling into a heap sobbing when I put on a pair of “low leg firm control pants” it was a sight I wouldn’t want inflicted on anyone else!!
And although i’m quite wobbly and not at all fit. I’m not even that big. I would have needed at least an 18 to not have the witchey-grub condom effect and then the waist would have been flapping about like nobodies business.
Maybe this is a good opportunity to get out my sewing kit and become the new Spanx entrepreneur. Unfortunately I have the business savvy of a brick and my sewing skills leave a lot to be desired!!
Glad I gave you a good gigele though!!

yanbu
you need to see how the wobbles do either end of the shapewear.
nothing worse than flat(ish) belly only to end up with a ring of blob underneath the boobs.

@redsummershoes exactly!! Couldn’t help but think of this comedy sketch about shapewear when you said about needing to see where the wobbly bits end up!!

m.youtube.com/watch?v=nn22uiZGSpY

Imo you’re better off with a slip to cover over any vpl or buy lined dresses only.

In my experience, shape wear doesn't hold your wobbly bits in, it just moves them somewhere else .

@museumum this was a 1 off vintage had to have it to treat myself dress. It’s the only dress like it that I own and will stay that way!! Definitely agree though as I never had this problem with anything else which wasn’t this material. It’s very clingy on the tummy and hips before it flairs so cant get away with a slip as it will wrinkle. I did try that though!

@ScreamingValenta yup. My thoughts exactly. It just takes my chunky hips and adds all that chunk to my thighs!!

Here's my most memorable shape wear experience: When DH and i were newly together his parents invited me to join them at a very posh do and i bought a lovely scarlet red floor length 'Jessica Rabbit' sheath dress especially for the occasion. It was stunning! It needed a strapless bra (i'm busty) and was very fine material with a lovely sheen, but very clingy all the way down, and even my NVPL knickers were distinctly visible!

Determined, I tried it with my spanx slip and no knickers but even the bottom edge of the usually invisible slip was visible.

I went out and bought The Worlds Most Hideous pair of knee length/rib cage high shorts (spanx again IIRC) in 'bandage beige' (you guessed it - black was visible under this dress) and once they were pulled right up the only bump was between the top band of these shorts and the bottom band of the strapless bra. If i pulled one up and one down the gap disappeared - but of course when i moved it would come back ... so still determined i sewed some industrial strength poppers right round to join my bra to the shorts and ... ta-da!! After about 20 mns of wriggling and struggling I was a perfectly smooth beige sausage! I looked a bit like a crash test dummy and had no hope of going to the loo until the end of the do but hey ...

Once at the posh hotel venue i was about an hour in the bathroom getting into this get up. I worried that the poppers would pop off and the shorts would twang up/down but it all stayed in place thank christ. Everyone said the dress looked a million dollars and to this day DH has no idea of the hideousness which was lurking under That Red Dress 'cos i whipped it all off in the bathroom as soon as we were back in our room (and had the worlds longest wee)

I don't think i'd put myself through all that ever again ...

I don't go full shapewear, but I like the tights. That way there's only one 'end'. I find it just smooths over the stomach. I'm a 14 with a bit of a belly.