To ask when you write your Christmas cards

[wineoclockthanks]

(Assuming you do as I know a lot of people don't)

If you're writing to a couple or a family, whose name do you put first (inside the card, not on the address)?

I will put the name of the person I knew first, first and then the children by age.

DH and I have been together for ever and most people met us when we were a couple so we get a mixture (but since you ask, I'm 'winning' at the moment )

‘Etiquettely’ you shouldn’t put names inside the card. However that looks rude imo, so I tie myself in knots writing a ‘long, naming or referencing all recipients’ greeting on the other side.

I write to the person we know best - e.g. if I know a couple but met the woman first, it would be “Dear Sally and John”, but would be the other way round if I’d met John first. I don’t know why!

If I met them both at the same time I probably wouldn’t put much thought into it, I don’t care much for etiquette.

i put the person i know the best first. or if i met them at the exact same time (unlikely!) probably for example Bob & Sue, so man first. Also children in age order as generally thats how the parents refer to them anyway (i know i always say Lily & Sophie for my daughters as Lily is older).

also, in regards to the poster saying etiquette says no names inside, i agree it looks rude. someone does this in my grandmas card every year and it riles her up no end. She thinks it shows complete lack of effort and spends days pissed off about it, then does the same back to them . ive told her if they do it to you then they dont see it as a problem and clearly youre not bothering them by doing it back, but it makes her feel a bit better.

It usually ends up automatically being the order in which we say their names when talking about them, eg ‘Dick and Liz’ or ‘Ella and Benji’ then adding on the children’s names in age order.

If it's a family I know as quite patriarchal (especially some very Christian families I j know from uni) then I always put the woman first, just to make a point :)

Otherwise the order that we would normally say their names in, because it sounds better (eg pat and tony sounds right, Tony and pat sounds wrong)

Etino I did not know that (this confirms my lack of class status )

@wineoclockthanks it’s a good example of a crap rule that now looks rude, like calling women by their husbands names, eg Mrs John Potter.

I think in etiquette terms it should be the woman first.

I rarely send any cards but I always put the woman first. I have one relative who is rather offensive and I once wrote to Mrs and Mr Jane Smith on the envelope. I never heard the end of it!

I go by the order we say the names in for the adults, it sounds wrong the other way round - eg I would write Aunty Betty and Uncle Bob because Uncle Bob and Aunty Betty sounds wrong - even without the Aunty and uncle bits, Bob and Betty sounds wrong! Then any kids in age order.

On the envelope I wrote the surname family and then inside dear and all their first names in random order... It's a christmas card, as long as the message comes across then bollocks to people's expectations of etiquette, the concept seems strange and pretentious to me.

@xJessica my PIL were Bob & Betty and we always did it in that order.

Generally I put the female name first because that's how I talk about them I suppose