To not make any more contact

[guzzlepuzzle]

Got a "friend" known her about 5 years . She's had a really rough couple of years being unwell with various different things. I've tried several times to say I'll pop and help , help with kids etc but she always says no . I contacted her a couple of weeks ago to see if she fancied a cuppa or something and she said she wasn't up to it but her boys would love to come and see my DC so I picked them up and had them for the day.
They wanted a sleepover but it was a school night so we said they could come the weekend after . Lo and behold came to next weekend and friend cancelled and said she would be in touch.
I feel like there is an issue but not a clue what it could possibly be? I don't want to ask because she has been unwell so i get that can take it out of you but my DC keep asking to see her DC and I don't know what to do?
Do I contact her and try and again or leave it now and make no contact? It's always me making the contact first.
Thanks

I think the problem is with her and not you. I have had to apologise to a friend today as I saw her yesterday and wasn’t feeling well and was really off. She says it made her wonder what she had done wrong.

If I was you i would let her know that you are available and then leave it for her to contact you. At the same time don’t be a doormat. You are not there to be picked up and put down when she wants and use her problems as an excuse. We all have problems after all and relationships are a lie give and take.

Also I should say that I reached out to friend to apologise. She didn’t need to say to me first. I value our friendship and regardless of what I have been going through she did not deserve my evasive responses when she has been nothing but kind to me.

So I guess I am advising that you use this as a way of evaluating whether your friend is capable or willing of recognising this and how much you are willing to accept?

Sorry, I sound really harsh as she has been ill, I think I am just saying don’t close the door but give her some space. It may be that she is unable to hold friendships at the moment?

I think if she is that unwell maybe she feels guilty that she can't return the favour and maybe she is just really unwell. Maybe you know some of it and not all of it. She could be even more unwell than you realise.

I don't think she would have asked you to have her DS's if there was any other reason, ie, she didn't like/trust you anymore.

Ok so how do I move it forward? Do I just wait to see if she contacts me now or do I send a message? If I send one what do I say because tbh it feels like I'm pestering . Said friend sees other people which is why I feel it's more to do with me but I can be highly sensitive too so it may not be. (Sorry for the N.C. I actually didn't mean to!)