Dd(3) swimming lesson

[NoFucksImAQueen]

DD is 3 and has just started swimming lessons. she's on about her 3rd week and today she wasn't particularly keen on going in but I kind of said that she should although in high insight I wish I just let her miss this week. she was quite upset in the pool and sobbing. I went into the lesson about halfway through and said do you want me to take her out but they said no. she then she continued to cry and sob for the last 15 minutes while they just made her go through the motions of swimming on her back with a woggle etc. at one point the second instructor (one in the pool one on the side) Shushed her and when they were bringing them out at the end the same instructor said come on X wake up let's go. The thing is I get that her crying wasn't ideal so am I being unreasonable to think they should have just let me take her out? shes only little I feel like she's now going to remember that lesson as really horrible and not want to go next week. pool side instructor doesn't seem very tolerant.

Does she go in by herself and has she done any lessons before?

Maybe she is a bit young for formal swimming lessons, can you not take her at weekends or something, and start lessons when she is a bit older.

Teach her yourself - ni need for lessons

I started the my 3 year old in September. He certainly found separation from me hard, and cried initially on getting in the pool. But stopped within 5 mins and got better and better each week. Starting swimming coincided with starting nursery and in hindsight it might have been too much in one go. But he absolutely loves it now. Admittedly his brothers swim at the same time so they go in together, though in different classes.

I’d definitely persevere a little more, but it might just be that she’s not ready. In which case, give it a break, do some family swims and try again in the future.

Dc2 has lessons like this and started when they were 2. Took dc2 about 6 weeks until there was no crying at all. They really enjoy swimming now, love the lessons and the teacher and have made lots of progress. The instructors at our pool are really good however, and always say that nearly all children cry at first. Personally I would give it a couple more weeks of lessons. If you're not happy though could you take them yourself?

Or find lessons where you get in with her for a year or so, then try solo again.

I dropped my dd’s Swimming lessons when she was 3 as she was so upset. She was much better aged 5 and get it straight away then.

It sounds a bit harsh that she has to go in on her own? Our lessons are 2-4 yr olds and all in the pool with a parent with them. Then if they don’t want to join in fully, at least you can easily encourage them and they’re still getting used to just being in the water, at least. Maybe try to find lessons similar? Ours are just at the local council pool.
Whichever, I think you have to make a firm decision one way or the other - see it through or wait till she’s older. We had only one occasion where my son didn’t want to go at 3, and cried A LOT, I did make him go, we got through it, the next time he was fine. But I do see it’s different if you can’t be there to comfort them yourself though.

That sounds horrible. I can't help thinking that there''s a financial incentive for the instructors to say that it's a good thing for ds to persevere even if he hates it.

3 yr olds don't need swimming lessons. Why on earth would anyone force them to learn so young? Stick to fun sessions playing in the water with you, if they enjoy it, or leave till later.

sorry - dd, not ds.

I'd just take her by yourself and leave lessons for 6 months or a year. I started my 3 year old but only because she wanted to, there were others who clearly didn't want to be there and weren't learning anything

sorry I did my Christmas shopping and forgot to check back. I can't take her myself as I have 3 dc so taking them all swimming is hard and why they do lessons. she's not in the pool alone there's 8 kids between 3 and 5 including her brother as well. she's been in nursery a year already as I'm doing a nursing degree so it's not 2 things starting at once. she liked it the previous weeks I don't know why she's didn't want to go in this week. I think that's all the questions answered

oh sorry I see that some people meant alone as in not with me. no they don't do lessons like that for her age. she likes the water generally when I do mange to take them all. it's just so hard with time restraints and all of mine are 7 and under so I can't take them to a proper pool and supervise them adequately so if we got it's to a fun one that's very shallow and more paddling. it will be easier when ds1 can swim confidently

Did you say "do you want me to take her?" or "I'm going to take her now"

The former, they are going to say no. They want to teach her, they want to help her, and the only way she will be confident and comfortable in the water is if they persevere. As in any new situation like settling at a new nursery - it's really hard for the child and they express their discomfort by crying.

You could have taken her out at any time if you'd wanted to.

If you're uncomfortable with your child's discomfort, take her and leave. She is supervised, she is safe, she is learning a vital skill, so I hope you don't remove her from the lessons in future. Sometimes it's just a bad day.

As for "why would anyone make a child do swimming lessons"

Can you imagine if your child fell into a body of water and didn't know even the basics of how to float, how to control their body in water, how to save their own life. Of course children should have swimming lessons from a young age. Water is a danger and many children do live near water. A river, a pond.

I definitely wouldn't force her to the point she hates swimming. How much do the lessons cost? My eldest hated group lessons (worked out at about £10 a lesson) I ended up getting him private lessons for £15 for half an hour. He made more than double the progress he had and actually started to enjoy swimming.

I'm a swimming teacher & I would normally recommend persevering, especially if your daughter is comfortable in the water.

The instructor is right when they say a lot of kids cry in their first few weeks & it's usually because the kids are so used to going in the pool with mum/dad/grandparents instead of a stranger.

Its probably a lot more structured than she's used to when she swims with you.

Also if you allow the instructor to work with her to calm her down and get to know her a bit, it helps her build a rapport with the teacher, which will be beneficial as she progresses through the programme.

Although I would say that it would have been helpful for the teacher to explain all this to you.

Obviously there are some occasions where the child is just too upset to continue and it's up to you as a parent to decide when that point is.

thanks everyone I really appreciate the feedback and I feel reassured that a few of you said it is best to persevere. like I say she's my third so I'm usually pretty laid back but it was quite painful watching het sob for the whole lesson. I did ask do you want me to because I didn't know what to do for the best. I just felt that one instructor seemed a bit short with her and I thought well then you should have said yes take her if the crying was going to annoy you. maybe she was just having a bad day. hopefully dd will be happier next week, like I say she's been fine before and has been excited to start lessons for months as she watches her brothers go every week

Of course swimming is a vital life-skill. But no child under 5 should be unsupervised near water, whether it can swim or not. Plenty of time to learn later when it has the language skills to be persuaded.

It's strange how Mumsnet seems to think it's up to the child when it decides to give up nappies or breast feeding or co-sleeping, long past the age of 3, but swimming? No. Even if she sobs for the whole lesson, teacher knows best.

My daughter had this for two weeks for the start of her lessons in January. The instructor is amazing and reassured her and cuddled her in. Since then she has loved it. If I were you I would push through x