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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to feel my husband is on a fast downward spiral?

31 replies

Yolo89 · 14/12/2018 22:54

I woke up at 3am last night and couldn't see my husband in bed. He had been out but I hope he was home by now..I walk into the kitchen to find him asleep on the floor next to the oven l. His response was ai was so tired. My response is he was too drunk. Tonight he g it home..Ge is looking for a job so is out a lot on the phone talking to recruiters etc. Tonight he got home and even though I'd told him.Inwas feeling very anxious (a problem for me) he took.ahes to come home. Then I clicked from.his s0eech he had been drinking
.Syre enough he had. When I had a go at me he sighs at me like im a nag, as he is so drunk he can't respond rationally. Cue an awful fight which had me bawling as my anxiety is through the roof . I told him.I was fast losing respect for him and he says oh great and buffs a d puffs agsin. What dies he honestly want me to think??? He is going through depression and is on meds but is self medicating with alcohol. He had gone from.suoer fit to having a large belly and blames it on.his lack of time to Exercise . Ah it is more to do with all the beet and pizza at 3am. I find it utterly ridiculoys..ai have empathy for depression but not for someone tyat won't help themself. This is not the first Friday this gas happened. It turns into a hellish experience and I am not sure I want to be dragged down so much as I am.already in a bad way myself due to other factors. He hides alcohol and empty beer bottles etc. What should I do?.ive told him to seek help . It is impacting the family and I am.scared it will fracture the family. what do I do? Help

OP posts:
pointythings · 15/12/2018 16:40

There's only one solution to this and it's for your DH to engage properly with psychological and medical management of his depression - which will involve NOT drinking. Alcohol is a depressant. It makes depression worse. It will prevent his medication from being effective. He has to stop drinking.

If he won't, you need to leave. I would really suggest you make contact with Al-Anon to get a clearer idea of life with someone who has alcohol problems, and what those problems do by way of impact on the family. It will be an eye opener.

golddustwoman84 · 15/12/2018 17:04

I

Yolo89 · 15/12/2018 18:38

truck load - what are you implying? I can't drink as my tolerance is teruble. Half a glass of wine and I suffer for three days.

I always do lots of typos!

There isn't really much more to this and it is all quite new - ie alcohol being a problem.for my husband.

Do you know something I don't?!!!

OP posts:
Yolo89 · 15/12/2018 18:47

He is very sorry today and says he will get help. Ge sats he will stop drinking. This dependency is pretty new so I am not just going to walk away as it has not been gling on for a long time.

I have made it quite clear I will not put up with this and I have effectively gone on.strike this weekend from household duties. I have been asking him.to see someone for his depression for ages and he said it was pointless but now this alcohol problem has escalated rhings. so he has an appointment this week.

He has been dragging me down and last night made my symptoms worse but I am.suffering horribly irrespective of him ..I can be in.tears for a while day over nothing dye to perimenpause. So he is not the cause but it is an added stress I don't need.

This week has hit a new low and us the straw that has broken the camels back.fkr me. she must seek help or I will not cobtinue. the help us beyond my control. He is also not going to go out- sadly for some men, the only way they socialise is with alcohol . I hate this. Why can't men go out for a coffee like women?!

OP posts:
Yolo89 · 15/12/2018 18:48

Pointy - yes I agree totally. I've been asking for ages but this new low means there is no option.just to manage it himself as he clearly needs help.

OP posts:
Yolo89 · 15/12/2018 19:29

Prick - what more do you think there is to this??!! I am.really at a loss??!

There is depression and alcohol colliding with me with severe peri menopause symptoms and trying to deal with children and jobs..That is it in a nutshell.

OP posts:
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