Presents

[sayitwithcake]

So we have just spent a couple of hundred quid to celebrate a happy event of BIL’s. Christmas is round the corner and they said to us they don’t want ‘things’ for Christmas. Spoke to PIL and apparently they meant theatre tickets or an experience tho said to PIL they should save their money for petrol to see them (they live about 3 hours away by road). PIL are not poor. We are probably richer but I still feel it’s one rule for one and one for another, especially as neither my DH or I have small families...

Buy presents for who you like. Enjoy giving them

Point is aibu to think it’s a mild case of thinking we are some kind of magic money tree

It sounds to me that they are trying to suggest ‘no presents needed for adults’ maybe in a clumsy way?

No they specifically told PIL they thought we would get them theatre tickets or an experience.

It's not a "rule" for anybody. Give what you feel comfortable with and they can do with it what they feel comfortable with. Or take them at face value and bring nothing.

Adults specifying the gifts they'd like is really peculiar, isn't it.

A few years ago my (grown up) nieces and nephews told my DM that they'd all prefer money for Christmas/birthdays.
It felt like they viewed her purely in terms of cash potential, as they didn't ask the same of anyone else in the family. So so shameless

Spend as much as you want to on whatever you feel inclined to.

Do a charity donation on their behalf, then. Or send them an invitation for a charity event (counts as an experience) where they either donate or help out.

Too late now for this year, but have a conversation with them some time after Christmas, to sort out what you'd all like to do for next year.

This last couple of years have been great since we've massively cut down on trying to think of buying presents for adults in the family. FAR less stressful.