Worried about DS - picked on/picking on!

[Blondie1993]

DS has just turned 7 and is in primary 3. He has come home tonight quite upset and i’m not really sure how to do deal with it!

He started off telling me that he has been picking on a girl in his class for the past few days. This girl and him have been friends from day one but he has said that she doesn’t want to be his friend anymore. For the past few days he has been basically hugging her tightly and refusing to let her go. I have completely went through him over this and removed his tablet time for the weekend. I have made it perfectly clear this is unacceptable, bullying and the girl is entitled to no longer be his friend if that’s what she wants, however sad that may be for him. He has been going to nursery then childminders since he was 9 months old so has always been around other children and this is the first issue we have had. I am disappointed in him but hopefully the conversation we have had tonight will put a stop to this behaviour.

I then asked him to make sure he apologised to the girl on Monday. He said he can’t because she has asked a group of other boys to keep him away from her. These boys pinned him to the ground today, drew on his trousers with chalk and took his shoes off and hit him with him. Then at lunchtime when he was eating his yoghurt they started punching him and poured his yoghurt over him. Someone is aware of this as they stopped it, took him to the office, put his dirty jacket in a bag and gave him a spare jacket to put on.

In a way, it was good for me to explain how horrible it is for him to be picked on so he shouldn’t do it to anyone else. I am concerned that this could all get out of hand quite easily. Would I be unreasonable to call the school on Monday and ask them to speak to everyone involved and try to resolve the situation? I am concerned that no one seems to have properly picked up that he has been nasty to this little girl so it may be worse than he is telling me (he hasn’t lied to me before but he has to others). Has anyone else experienced problems like this in primary school? Feel quite out of my depth!

I’d phone the school.

Two wrongs don’t make a right. He’s annoyed her but he’s realised he was in the wrong. Being punished by a group of boys on the girl’s day so when they’re 7?! That’s not on when you’re an adult but the fact that she’s organised this as a child is strange.

Contact the school. Highlight what's happened so they can supervise more closely and perhaps have a general chat about acceptable behaviour. They are young, they are learning and with a bit of adult intervention I expect it will blow over.

The boys think they are helping the girl but need to learn this is too much. Your son needs to tell the girl he won't be hugging her/Not letting her go.

It my school I would speak to head if infants as class teacher gets little time away from children, also she has more control over playtime supervision. It's not seen as going over class teachers head.