To ask those that ended up with someone who was not their child's other parent

[DetoxOx]

Me and DH are struggling TTC. We are experiencing lots of issues which are causing me quite a lot of distress and irrational thoughts.

Recently, I can't help but worry that he will never quite love me the same as his ex whom he shares children with. They were never married and his kids are both nearing 10+. He tells me I'm being ridiculous which I probably am but I can't shake the feeling that I'll never really mean as much as the mother of his children did.

I am guilty of romanticising the idea having children with someone and therefore it leaves me feeling less 'important' in his life.

Is there anyone who ended up with someone who wasn't their child's other parent but you are happier with?

You want to bring a child into the world so your dp will love you more.

Yup.

I have a great relationship with DS's Dad, but I don't think of him in any kind of a romantic way at all.

I know it's easier said than done, but please try to de-stress and be kind to yourself

yep. having a child with someone doesnt make you love them more.

No.. not at all. That isn't what I'm saying in the slightest. Me and DH want to have a child because we love each other and would like to bring a child into our family as couples do.

My irrational thoughts regarding this are stemming from a worry that I may never have children (because we are experiencing issues recurrent miscarriage etc..) and it is affecting my thought processes and my confidence in the way my husband sees me.

I did. The way he was with my son made all the difference.

My ex was my ex for a reason.

You're worrying that you might not be able to have a child, and your OH may not love you as much because of it.
He won't leave you because of this!

My Ex is an ex for excellent reasons, mainly he is a lying cheating, emotional abusive toad.
My DP (who is a widower) if the love of my life.
I will not have children with DP for complex reasons. I accept and understand that the love he has for his wife is different to the love he has for me. His DW was an amazing and incredibly brave lady who I know he adored. But without surviving losing someone he loved so much he would not be the person that I love now.
Your DP had children with someone, whatever brought about the end of their relationship made him the person he is now that you love. You have to make peace with this or it will eat you up.

I have a child with my partner but I have other children with an ex. Having children with my ex didn't make me love him any more or want to be with him. And if I hadn't had my son with my partner, I would still favour him over my ex. As PP said, they are an ex for a reason.