AIBU to think DP chose the wrong choice of word?

[AIBU123]

I was telling DP the news regarding the police office who groomed and raped a 13 year old girl and he responded with "that's proper naughty". To me "naughty" is when my children hit one another for example. It does the fall under the same definition as describing a rapist.

I told him how I felt his definition was minimising and disrespectful etc. but be doesn't see my view.

Am I being unnecessarily cross with him?

I mean "It does not"!!!!

Sorry for any confusion and typos!

Well... yes, you are

We can’t always use the precise words others might want us to.

Naughty to define a rapist... I can't feel okay about it for some reason.

No, it's just a word.
What did you want him to say?
I would have said ' that's bad'.
Not shocking, not terrible, not horrifying, just bad.

It's just a word.

Yes, unless there's a history of him having certain views regarding rape?

Sometimes I have trouble coming up with the word I know I want but just can’t remember

So yes YABU

I wouldn't use those words either. I understand how you feel it is minimising. It is. However people do use language in different ways. Also some people actually seek to minimise distressing news as a coping mechanism. He perhaps didn't want to get bogged down in being irate and upset over something he feels he has little control over.

Yab very ott

Yabu

Naughty? That’s grim.

Okay I'm out voted already which says it all. Clearly IABU!!

I'd be appalled by that too, OP. YANBU. The fact he won't concede that 'naughty' was a poor choice of word is also disappointing, to say the least.

I understand the objection, but he's allowed to minimise unpleasantness he doesn't want to think about. There is at any given time an infinity of horrors in the world that anyone who doesn't mind being upset can choose from, though it's probably healthier to ignore most of it. Just because you've selected this to focus on doesn't oblige him to take it equally seriously.

I think naughty has fun-sexual connotations and that's the problem. Like ooooh, naughty

But yeah...you've told him it probably wasn't the right word to use (insert awful, tragic, dreadful etc) so I'd just let it be.

My DH isn't the best with words! But if I picked him up on it, it'd affect his confidence.

I'm glad to see I'm not completely alone in my reaction.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

I agree it’s a bad choice of word, but you aren’t his teacher - it’s not for you to police his language.

It would annoy me and I'd say something to my DH.
But then I have OCD and small things can really grate on me.

I'd also then accept it was just a poor choice of words and move on.

IMO you are not being unreasonable. Naughty is such the wrong word to use.

Your question has a tautology in it. Let she who is without sin cast the first stone...

YANBU. In your shoes I’d also have pointed out that ‘naughty’ is not the best choice of words. I’d also have hoped that my DP would see my point of view too.

It is the wrong word. But if he said it with an angry or disgusted tone I would realise his meaning anyway. I doubt he was sniggering as he said it....I hope not anyway.

YANBU, I think it's a strange thing to say. Just because 'naughty' has fun sexual connotations. It sort of implies he thinks 'ooh that cheeky chappy, shagging a youngster, that's naughty'. Just seems like it's minimising something that's horrific. Maybe he is just not very articulate, only you would know that

Was just about to say the same thing ll83.

A "that's proper naughty" with a thoughtful pause or sigh or shake of the head is far more appropriate than a "oh that's dreadful, what's for tea?"

All depends on context.