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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu to be peed off with this question ?

82 replies

SandraTheBee · 14/12/2018 16:12

My 13 year old dad has invited a couple of new friends for a birthday sleep over next week. She invited them over 2 weeks ago.
I don’t know these girls and dd sent them my phone number so that the parents could speak to me before hand. I completely under that they would want to do this.

I haven’t heard from anyone.
Today dd comes back from school with the message that one parent wants to know what job I have.

Never in all my years of parenting ( I have 6 kids and dd is the 5th) has any parent asked me this.

I am wondering if it is in fact Katie Hopkins.

I’m pretty pissed off and don’t really want to have to deal with people who make judgements like that.

I have a perfectly ‘respectable ‘ and main stream job. I am a teacher currently working as a TA, but what the hell?

OP posts:
MakeAHouseAHome · 14/12/2018 18:46

I don't see anything at all wrong with asking this. Why are you so defensive?

Original poster
SandraTheBee · 14/12/2018 19:01

because my job is not relevant.

OP posts:
Hohocabbage · 14/12/2018 19:30

Does she think you might have a male partner supervising them instead? If your answer was “night shift worker”

Original poster
SandraTheBee · 14/12/2018 19:41

possibly.

Who knows what goes through people's minds. It would never occur to me to ask whether my child would be supervised when she had been invited to a sleepover.Takes all sorts I guess.

OP posts:
SeeSpotRun · 14/12/2018 19:54

Perhaps she has had problems with her child drinking or smoking and wants to know that someone is going to be around to prevent it happening.

NonaGrey · 14/12/2018 20:41

How old are the girls?

Original poster
SandraTheBee · 14/12/2018 21:07

Just 13

OP posts:
brizzledrizzle · 14/12/2018 21:10

You're a private investigator - why is she asking? She must have something to hide.

MakeAHouseAHome · 14/12/2018 21:12

Your job IS relevant if I was allowing my kid in your home...

Mum2jenny · 14/12/2018 21:32

I can't see how a parent's job is relevant for another parent to decide if her/his child can sleep over there.

choli · 14/12/2018 21:36

It's mumsnet. It's a class thing. As always.

Pernickity1 · 14/12/2018 21:49

I think you’re being a little defensive OP, perhaps your situation is making you feel that way? single mum on benefits etc.

You shouldn’t let this get to you, I imagine it was more innocent than you think and the child’s parent was just curious/wondering about the person who was going to be looking after them for a night. I bet they’d be mortified to know it was phrased as their question to your DD.

netmumz9 · 14/12/2018 22:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

SD1978 · 14/12/2018 22:17

Ask her for proof of clearing with the official secrets act, and then you can.

IHopeThisIsAGoodIdea · 14/12/2018 22:29

Tell them you're...
Council Housed And Violent

(Cuz come on that's pretty much why they're really asking.)

waxy1 · 14/12/2018 22:33

Say you’re in a trade with a long history.

GinandGingerBeer · 14/12/2018 23:12

Well if that's her reasoning you're a 9 to 5 astronaut. Surely the question is 'will Dm be there all the time? Rather than what job does she do?

KeepServingTheDrinks · 14/12/2018 23:32

purleeeeease, pretty please say 'sex worker' or 'drug dealer', just for the shits and giggles.

My DD did guides from age 11 (or was it 10?) and you had to drop them on the road and they walked up a drive. The guide leader told me she was absolutely ASTONISHED at just how many parents dropped their kids and didn't walk up with them. So NONE of the parents had even clapped eyes on her. They just trusted it would be fine.

And I did find when my (now 17 yr old DD) started secondary how many parents of new friends just dropped their kid off for a sleepover without wanting to meet us. I was really shocked.

IamSusan I wouldn't say this if I wasn't really quite drunk, because I don't like laying into people on the internet, but I find your posts absolutely horrible. I can't believe more people aren't calling you out. And no, not everyone thinks like you do. Anyone decent looks at the person and not the post code!

boringlyboring · 14/12/2018 23:40

Maybe she felt it was more polite to ask that, than to directly say ‘will you be leaving them alone’ as that could come across as accusatory.

Not the biggest of deals really

Topseyt · 15/12/2018 01:53

As an astronaut, you could be taking them to the international space station for their sleepover.

As a private investigator or professional hitman, you will supervise them by taking them on a job with you. They can be your footsoldiers. Your scouts and spies.

Topseyt · 15/12/2018 02:00

I know someone in the party entertainment business. He spends a lot of his working life dressed up as a clown and absolutely would give that as his answer to such a question.

nocoolnamesleft · 15/12/2018 03:51

"One that requires enhanced DBS check" should be reassuring...

DeepanKrispanEven · 15/12/2018 08:24

The thing is, though, knowing what you do doesn't tell her whether you'll be there supervising. She might think it's acceptable that you're a teacher because that doesn't normally entail evening work outside the house, but it could be the day you have to help out with a Christmas concert or play. Is she going to say no if you're someone with shift work, even though your shiftwork pattern means that you're off at the relevant time?

MilkyCuppa · 15/12/2018 08:32

If I didn’t know someone well enough to know their profession without asking, my child would not be sleeping at their house!

ItStartedWithAKiss241 · 15/12/2018 08:47

I think this might be a misunderstanding too! My dd once dragged me over to a random dad in the playground and said in that patronising voice we use to the kids by accident sometimes “I think my mum has something to ask you?” I was like “WTF!” He looked massively alarmed! It turned out to be if his Dd could come for tea one evening x 😂

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