To not reciprocate gifts?

[Munchkingoat]

Exh and I split up over a decade ago. Exh fell out with the rest of his family not long after hence his family passed our kids xmas gifts to me instead of him. For a few years I gave gifts to the kids in his family as they dropped round gifts for mine but did feel it wasn't my family any more and not my job. A few years ago I asked one of my ex sisters in law if we could stop exchanging gifts as money is always tight and they agreed. Great.

Last couple of years both the sisters in law have brought gifts round for my kids very last minute so I've not even had a chance to reciprocate but I also can't afford to anyway and i thought we'd stopped this! The gifts have been pretty generous too and I can't possibly afford to do the same back!

I know that they're going to do it again this year what do I do? They're not my family and it's not my responsibility to give gifts and they have nothing to do with us the rest of the year.

If they have nothing to do with you the rest of the year then all they are doing is buying themselves a free conscience, let them off, don't reciprocate, don't even open the door if you don't want to

There's no ill feeling towards them (i know they were not nice about me when ex and i split despite it being entirely his choice but you know, it's his family) but i can't afford more extra presents and i think it's up to my ex to buy his family presents not me - we've been split up over a decade! It's not my problem they don't speak.

Yes, it’s not your issue - assume they’re bringing you the gifts as the DC are with you and that your ex is buying for his own family (whether he is or not).

I think it's different. Your kids are their family, but their kids are not your family - your exH is responsible for getting his nieces and nephews gifts, but if his sister's want to get your kids (ie their nieces and nephews) something, then that's fine.

I get gifts for my brother's children, but his ex does not buy any for mine, and I wouldn't expect her to. Neither does my brother, but that's because he's crap!

missingsummer that's exactly how i think but end up feeling massively guilty! If money were no object I'd probably give them all a load of gift vouchers but my xmas budget is sooo tight I simply can't when I don't really feel it's my responsibility. I wish they just gave the presents to my ex but they won't do that.

Buy an appropriate number of selection boxes and pop them in gift bags with Christmas cards.

You won’t feel so awkward having nothing to hand over but it won’t break the bank.