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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Person in my office with terrible laugh

21 replies

GraceMarks · 14/12/2018 11:00

OK... I am prepared to be flamed here but I am feeling fractious about this!

I work in a large open-plan office. There is my department, which is small and contained to a single corner of the space, and the rest of the floor is occupied by a different team who we don't have anything to do with work-wise. A new woman has just started on a desk just across from me, and she has the weirdest laugh I think I've ever heard. It's like someone is machine-gunning an elephant seal. It would be OK if it was just an occasional thing, but she seems not to have very much to do because she spends all day gossiping with the people next to her and then honking in amusement. It's driving me mad, not just the noise itself but the moments in between when I'm waiting for her to do it. It's very distracting!

AIBU, or would I be in order to say something?

OP posts:

Confusedbeetle · 14/12/2018 11:02

Of course you cant say anything

StealthPolarBear · 14/12/2018 11:03

Ywbu to tell her u our description of her laugh :o though it amused me. You would not be unreasonable to mention the noise and disruption in general, if she's talking to others they are all to blame.

yawning801 · 14/12/2018 11:04

Nice Fawlty Towers reference there

maxthemartian · 14/12/2018 11:05

If she's a larger woman who smokes a lot then you have inherited her from me and have my complete sympathy.

cadburysflake · 14/12/2018 11:12

It's like someone is machine-gunning an elephant seal.

This made me laugh a lot, it's ok I'm alone and don't sound like an elephant seal being gunned down !!

I am sorry, maybe she has a work laugh, you know like that episode of friends !

Original poster

GraceMarks · 14/12/2018 11:16

yawning801 yes, I added the "elephant" bit for extra emphasis but can't claim credit for the rest of it...

maxthemartian no, she's young and slim. There's obviously more of them about than anyone knew!

StealthPolarBear actually, there are a lot of disruptive people around, talking and mucking about when their supervisors aren't around, but she just stands out more than the others, for obvious reasons. Probably it would be reasonable to raise it with them but how to do so without making things awkward is a different matter.

OP posts:

thedevilinablackdress · 14/12/2018 11:21

You can try and tackle the general noise and disruption I think rather than the annoying laugh which is trickier.

thedevilinablackdress · 14/12/2018 11:23

Sorry, just saw your last update about how lots of people are chatty... difficult. I suppose standing up and shouting "can you all give it a rest!!!" us out of the question?

skybluee · 14/12/2018 11:23

Maybe you could start slightly changing your laugh, very gradually, until it gets stranger and stranger, louder and louder. If you do a sudden series of honks in a quiet office she might realise how ridiculous she sounds.

MargoLovebutter · 14/12/2018 11:31

That would make me stabby too op, but you know you can't say anything. Can you wear in ear headphones and try and drown her out - at least until Christmas is past and everyone is less jolly!

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 14/12/2018 11:32

she might realise how ridiculous she sounds.

She probably knows. I've known three people with awful laughs in my lifetime. The first was insanely high pitched but she never referenced it.

The other two knew that their laughs were bad. One would hear herself laugh and it would set her off even more. She was embarrassed about it but couldn't control it, and I guess she had to learn to live with it rather than never laugh!

You can make a point about how loud and disruptive they are ALL being; but I don't think you can single her out because you find her laugh annoying, however irritating it is. It makes it a bit personal.

In the short term; are you allowed to wear headphones? They've got me through some noisy periods...

BeanTownNancy · 14/12/2018 11:35

There is a woman in my team whose laugh is deeply irritating to me - it just sounds like she's faking it because she doesn't understand what's going on and I have to try my best not to dislocate my eyes when rolling them hard (out of view). Yes I'm a bitch. Can't possibly say anything though, so I'll just silently judge from my corner.

secondarymincepie · 14/12/2018 11:35

There's a woman in my office with a laugh like a hoard of asthmatic bees doing karaoke, so I feel your pain.

Original poster

GraceMarks · 14/12/2018 12:05

skybluee I did think of that, but I'm not sure if I have the guts to do it. I could have fun thinking up the oddest possible way to laugh and then unleashing it on them all, if I were more of an extroverted type!

AnchorDownDeepBreath headphones are allowed, and I do resort to them on a Friday afternoon sometimes when they're all being a bit giddy and weekendy. I also have a very good friend who has a honking laugh and she's well aware of it - she once went to a stand-up gig to see a well-known comedian and he took the piss out of her about it, which set her off even more. It ended up in a sort of awful feedback loop, with him making snarky comments and her becoming more and more helpless with laughter. I do know that people can't help how they laugh but I'm sure they can control the volume of it and not mess about when in a professional setting.

secondarymincepie that is an amazing description! I can imagine exactly how that sounds. Must be very difficult to ignore.

OP posts:

recklessruby · 14/12/2018 14:09

My dd s laugh is mega loud and ds says she sounds like a seagull so you have my sympathy (but I don't think you can say anything without becoming very unpopular)

Purplehammer · 14/12/2018 14:52

Definitely do an exaggerated imitation every time she does it.
Then shout “guess who?”
I can assure you it is successful.

Original poster

GraceMarks · 14/12/2018 15:55

Purplehammer

OP posts:

LonnyVonnyWilsonFrickett · 14/12/2018 16:03

It's really hurtful to be pulled up on your laugh. I know my laugh can shatter glass. Someone I hadn't seen for 30 years picked me out at a funeral from behind because I laughed. (It was the before bit. The funeral wasn't that funny.)

I genuinely can't help it though.

It would be better to complain about general noise/chit chat/disruption imo. After all, she's not the only one mucking about, she's just the only one who's making you stabby.

Sparklesocks · 14/12/2018 16:09

Ahh I feel bad, it's annoying but people (normally) can't help it!

I once knew a woman with a loud seal-like laugh, she would laugh loudly and unconsciously until one day someone (jokingly) made fun of her for it. I don't think he meant to be mean, but she immediately seized up and looked really embarrassed. After that I noticed she was very self conscious and would make an effort to not laugh at things or would laugh behind her mouth. It was really sad! I really felt for her. No way to live!

Sparklesocks · 14/12/2018 16:10

behind her hand, not mouth!

Original poster

GraceMarks · 14/12/2018 21:22

LonnyVonny I know, you're right, it's the pissing about and chatting that's really annoying me, but she's the one I can hear over everyone else. I think I will cop out a bit and get my line manager to have a general word with theirs about noise levels.

SparkleSocks I do understand it's horrible to be pulled up on something you can't help. I still think she could control the overall volume of it though!

OP posts:

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