To pull year 11 DC out of school and give up?

[Afriendofmyown]

Because I don't know what else to do and because they masks at school no one will help me.

I feel like I ever escape the end of the year with their mental health intact and no grades or vice versa.
They have Dyspraxia and have been tested showing signs of Dyslexia. I think they are probably on the spectrum somewhere.

Their grades are falling and falling each term. From predicted 5/6 to 2s. They are way behind predictions from year six SATS.

DC is miserable, hates school, can't cope with the noise or the people , the meltdowns are.nightly, crying, they've become so anxious that they have started to wet the bed. They have been dry for years, they have previously been bullied and there is a real nasty child in school at the moment which isn't helping.

No one will help us, I've been to the GP who referred to Camhs but Camhs refused us. I've spoke to Young Mind, I have spoken to school.

I just do not know what to do anymore.

What hope at college is there for children with no qualifications?
I know they can do open university but what until then?
Can I force school somehow into helping .

Is on IEP and SEN register but does not have whatever a statement is no called.

Attendance is very high. Purely because we have been up to now making them go and physically taking them on occasion. I'm sick of doing that while watching my child break.

Apply for an Education Health and Care Plan - information about how to do it here: www.ipsea.org.uk/asking-for-an-ehc-needs-assessment

I’d take them out now and homeschool them until you find something better.

Formal education is not the be all and end all. There are loads of jobs people do with no qualifications. If those jobs end up not suiting your child they can do catch up courses later.

Mental health is more important than exams. I speak from bitter experience -

The problem with applying for an EHCP is that the process is so slow that by the time you get an assessment (if you even meet their criteria to be assessed) it's a 20 week process so GCSE's will probably be over before this. Can you pull your child out of school but ask for some work to do from home, and try and home educate him / her for the next few months until the exams?

And good luck op. You are a great mum, advocating for her son .

Keep a note of everything, every conversation and follow up in writing with action points.

do not formally remove him from school - the school will just wipe their hands of him and the LEA will do nothing as you are now responsible for his education!

also year 11 has 5 months left - and GCSE's do matter - yes he can start a foundation program at college but it means he has so much longer in education - and without an ehcp it's only free until he is 19.

Even 2's and 3's give him options - I would apply for an EHCP your self - yes it takes a while and it might be too late for GCSE but it secures support and education until 25!

Also send that letter - it's very well put together

No school will take him in year 11 - it's way to late to move and GCSE syllabuses vary from school to school.

Meet with the school and demand an explanation for his fall in grades - there is obviously an issue and they need to address this x

I took my bullied dyspraxic son out of school and we home-edded for GCSEs. We just did loads and loads of past papers, and I sent him to a couple of intensive day courses for English. He sat 8 GCSEs and passed 5. He still doesn't have Maths. We discovered our local sixth form college does do a GCSE year for kids like him - you can sit 4 GCSEs and if you do well enough, go onto an 'A' level course afterwards, so it would be worth looking to see if anywhere near you does something like that. If so, he could heal for the rest of the year, do some background work and reading, and then take GCSEs next year instead.
My heart goes out to you. It is unendingly miserable seeing your child suffer and just not being able to put it right xxx

Is there any alternative provision near you? Get on to the council. My friends dd has an eating disorder and goes to a small unit called a medical education service. There are kids there catching up who have been I. Hospital for like whole years of school due to either mental health or physical health. You could approach it from that angle, go to gp maybe and get sorted from the stress and anxiety angle and then get referred for some sort of provision like that?

Please do this as DeepanKrispanEven suggested upthread, schools are not always as helpful as they could be [gross understatement]
Apply for an Education Health and Care Plan - information about how to do it here
www.ipsea.org.uk/asking-for-an-ehc-needs-assessment

Also if he's 'schooled out' you could consider Interhigh after he's had a long enough break to recover.
interhigh.co.uk/

Agree - take DC out of school. Taking exams late will cause no problems in the long term - maybe start college next September. Life is too short for this sort of stress for both of you.

The OU will under some circumstances take under 18s, but to be honest I would concentrate on his health and maybe GCSE English and Maths. There will be options for him though.

The problem with applying for an EHCP is that the process is so slow that by the time you get an assessment (if you even meet their criteria to be assessed) it's a 20 week process

No, it's a 14 week process from the date of a decision to assess.

I really feel for you OP - I was in exactly this place this time last week with my very dyspraxic Year 11 DC. With advice from a tame Ofsted inspector I did a letter along similar lines to that above pointing out where the school was in breach of their policies and government guidelines on Mental health. School did get back to me very quickly and have now put steps in place for the mocks.

TBH I doubt that they will do that much in the last few days of school so could you let him stay at home and relax, enjoy getting a bit CHristmassy and get a GP appointment for a CAHMS re referral etc?

DH and I have taken the view that DC just need to do what they can and that if GCSEs don't workout we can look at other options including Home Ed or FE colleges - interested to read about OU provision for under 18s as that might be a good option - DC is very much a one trick pony even when well and firing on all cylinders.

I really do feel that dyspraxia is a really misunderstood condition - so many people don't seem to get that it is more than being clumsy - including a significant number of school SENCOs. I'm so sorry to read that there are a number of others with dyspraxic DC whose needs are not being met.

If you PM me with your email address I can forward you some stuff that I have found helpful in the last few weeks.

for you.

YANBU. I took my DC2 out of school in yr6, and have never regretted it - although they then settled into secondary well, so it was a good result iyswim.

You cannot have a 16yr old under so much stress they are wetting the bed.

Speak to school - there may be solutions, eg individual tutor (I know a child who had that at gcse age) and work sent home, for instance.

Look into online schooling - they learn at home on the pc, with lessons online & chat rooms with other students/teachers. That may suit your child better.

Sorry you're going through this, I know from experience that problems with schooling are a nightmare

Have you been in touch with your local parent carer forum? They're a bit like citizen advice bureaus for parents of children with SEND. They can give you information and advice and sign post you to appropriate agencies.

Click here to find your local branch.

www.nnpcf.org.uk