Really annoyed

[Mommy234]

So this morning before school/nursery my son(5) and daughter(4) were going down the stairs. My youngest brother (13) came up the stairs and blocked their way telling them to move aside . They started trying to get past him and my daughter fell down the stairs but wasn't hurt just upset. I saw a bit of what happend but not everything now my brother is blaming my son saying he pushed her and the kids blaming him saying he blocked their way.
Now this might not seem all that sirieus but my mom came in blaming my kids for going upstairs wearing shoes and that it's dangerous (we normally don't wear shoes inside). I'm annoyed and told all of them off but apparently I shouldn't tell my brother off and I'm being biased. AIBU or is my mom? Oh and my mom and brother don't live with me but stay over a lot.

(Sorry english is not my first language )

I think at 13 your brother should be more considerate of the little ones

Sounds like they were all mucking about - unless you actually see what happens I always think it best to blame everyone!

In your house - your rules apply. So perfectly reasonable to tell your brother off if you think it necessary.

Similarly, it is up to you to enforce your rules when you feel it appropriate - shoes off? If the children were getting ready for school, they would have to put shoes on at some point. I don't think it is any more dangerous to wear shoes on stairs than not, so not sure what your Mum's argument is there.

If it is causing problems then maybe your Mum and brother don't need to stay over quite so often?

Dangerous to wear shoes on the stairs? What is that about?
Your brother needs to be more considerate of the little ones. They are still learning to negotiate stairs safely. He was in the wrong and your mum for putting blame on them too.

You need a conversation with your mum.

She is a guest in your home. As is your brother. Neither of them should be dictating what you or your kids do in your own home.

If she is not open to hearing your opinion then you may have to stop them staying over a lot!

Who does that benefit, by the way? Is it something you really want to happen or is it just a habit you have got into?

I am wondering if their staying over has any financial impact on you? Or causes any friction between you and your DP/DH, if you have one!

Sounds like you need a place of your own

Sorry just read your last sentence! Then they both out of order!

Your house, your rules, you dish out the disciplining.
Shoes are not the reason unless laces were undone.

YANBU. Make it clear to your mother and brother that in your house your word is law! And stop them from staying over.

At 13 your brother should take care when younger children are going downstairs. He should have moved out of the way. He sounds very immature for 13 and a bit of a spoilt brat trying to get the better of small children.

I was starting to doubt myself but luckily my mom called me to apologize as she could see my brother did deserve to be told off and she would talk to him about it.

Thank you guys for all the responses just needed to vent.

I think it would be one of those where you had to be there to see who was at fault, and it was probably a mixture.

It may be that the 13yo was trying to throw his weight around and be a bit of a "I'm bigger so you move, get out of my way".
It could also be that he was coming downstairs and he says "wait a minute, I'm nearly down" and they try and squirm past. On our stairs they're not really wide enough for 2 people to pass, let alone three.

From the description it could be he tried to barge through, but equally well it would be the two younger ones trying to race upstairs and one jostling the other, to get there first.

I don't see that he should automatically have to step aside because they're younger, they should all be able to look up/down the stairs and wait if someone's already on it.