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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To play them at their own game

26 replies

Russiawithlove · 14/12/2018 09:11

We live in quite a small close. Bar two sane neighbours the rest are all part of a gossipy clique.
My partner has lived here 12 years and I moved in with him 6 years ago.
The house was rented as we both own property overseas and plan to move abroad in the next 4yrs.
The rent was cheap as the place needed updating and we really only use it as a UK base as we both travel for work.

Our landlord offered to sell it to us last year. We got a very reduced price and it suited us to stay.
Nice quiet area...seriously nosey neighbours.
We were judged as the only renters and definitely looked down on....we were not bothered.

Since they have found out we have bought the house they are all sweetness and light.
Pushing for price we paid as it was a private sale. I just smile and ignore.

In the last 4 days we have received Christmas cards from them all. They never sent us one before..
They are so sickly nice to us now..its grating on me. They had been utter knobs before.

My pet hate is people who are two faced. My partner says just send them cards and keep the peace.
I don't want to. We weren't good enough before so why should I have to be false to them now.

Am I being unreasonable not wanting to play the false game. I know it's Christmas but that doesn't change the fact they are snobby knobheads.

OP posts:
WatchingFromTheSidelines · 14/12/2018 09:39

Yanbu. Awful people. You should tell one of them you are planning on renting it out. Watch the panic.

Mummylife2018 · 14/12/2018 09:42

Watching GrinGrinGrin

Original poster
Russiawithlove · 14/12/2018 09:43

Haha I sort of already did that. I couldn't help myselfGrin

OP posts:
tenredthings · 14/12/2018 09:43

Life's too short, send them cards , be nice. That may make them question their previous prejudices. Maybe as you were renting and away a lot before they didn't think it worth while investing in a relationship which might not last, that doesn't mean they were judging you on whether you were home owners or not, just on whether long term they wondered if you were invested in your local community.

Nothininmenoggin · 14/12/2018 09:44

No stick to your principles. These people sound bloody awful snobs, only wanting to talk to you now because you own the house. You owe them nothing and I'm sure you have many real friends without adding this shower of snobby fakers. As you say you will be moving in four years so don't need people like this in your life.

Biologifemini · 14/12/2018 09:45

If they thought you were moving abroad and temporary then they may have thought it wasn’t worth the effort.
I don’t know.

masterandmargarita · 14/12/2018 09:47

You lost me at 'they all part of a gossipy clique' - so a group of friends

Hilda40 · 14/12/2018 09:47

Unfortunately they will be able to find out the sale price on the land registry site

maras2 · 14/12/2018 09:49

Fuck 'em.
When DD started school nearly 40 years ago, I was a bit of a hippy wearing caftans, sandals etc, not the look one would expect in our naice middle class area.
Not one person at the school gates spoke to me Angry
3 months in and I was back to work as a ward sister and dropped DD off one day wearing my uniform.
Well,guess what? Bastards couldn't get to me quick enough with their chit chat, invitations etc,
Like I said fuck 'em.
40 years on and it still pisses me off.
Hold a grudge, me?
You bet. Grin

Original poster
Russiawithlove · 14/12/2018 09:53

I wouldn't say they were friendly to each other...they all play the one upmanship thing with the gardens etc.

They were always invested enough to ask where we were working and one once even had the cheek to ask who our landlord was.
I don't want to bring age into it but they are all retired.
I've even had delivery drivers ask me if I have nosy neighbours....the curtains twitching.

Not sure why its annoyed me so much...its just so blatantly two faced to me.

OP posts:
Giggorata · 14/12/2018 10:07

We have elderly neighbours opposite who clock every visitor.
We call them “Neighbourhood Peep” and it's bearable because it's a deterrent to would-be burglars when we're out all day, or away.
You could shamelessly use them like that whilst you are away..

BertrandRussell · 14/12/2018 10:12

“I don't want to bring age into it but they are all retired.”

So why did you? Hmm

Sounds as if you have a very active imagination and too much time in your hands to me.

Original poster
Russiawithlove · 14/12/2018 10:18

Lol BertrandRussell are you one of my neighbours? Grin

If so you can stick your Christmas card up your arse Flowers

OP posts:
greendale17 · 14/12/2018 10:20

You don’t sound particular nice OP. Maybe your neighbours had a problem with your attitude?

kenandbarbie · 14/12/2018 10:21

As others have said it just sounds like they weren't bothered as if you were renting it was likely to be temporary. Now they know you're permanent they're making an effort. Sounds like you're taking unnecessary offense.

Original poster
Russiawithlove · 14/12/2018 10:23

I'm very nice to honest and upfront people. I never judge anyone.

I have little tolerance for nosey gossips or two facedness. No I will not apologise for that sorry.

OP posts:
masterandmargarita · 14/12/2018 10:35

You are judging a little, sorry, if you call someone a 'Nosey gossip' and refer to their age

underneaththeash · 14/12/2018 10:36

Do you think that they just didn't want a relationship with you as they thought you wouldn't be there very long?

We have lovely coffee circle on our road and tend to invite anyone new who moves into the road, but we've had a succession of different renters in the house opposite to us who usually stay less than 12 months.

CantWaitToRetire · 14/12/2018 10:43

Don't bother sending cards back. If one of them has the cheek to mention it then just say you don't do cards and would rather give to charity/save a tree/{insert reason here} instead.

Original poster
Russiawithlove · 14/12/2018 10:45

Yes I understand I may be coming across a little judgy. It's only because of how we have been treated.

The gossip bit comes from me overhearing them talking about us on various occasions. Things like o look there she goes again with her suitcases.
I've walked past them in summertime and they have all gone silent when I've walked by.
But no I've never let it bother me. I live a busy life and keep my business to myself.

I understand the renting thing..but my partner has been here 12 years and I have 6. It's hardly temporary.

OP posts:
Birdsgottafly · 14/12/2018 10:49

"I don't want to bring age into it but they are all retired."

Then why did you?

Do you think all retired people have absolutely nothing else to do but gossip?

Birdsgottafly · 14/12/2018 10:51

"Yes I understand I may be coming across a little judgy. It's only because of how we have been treated."

So bigotry is OK towards a whole demographic based on one small group?

Did either of you ever speak to them?

Original poster
Russiawithlove · 14/12/2018 10:55

No I never said all, I said my neighbours.
I have not generalised to all retired people. I am stating the facts of how we have been treated. And how my neighbours have acted. Nothing more.

Thanks for the replies.

OP posts:
Mummylife2018 · 15/12/2018 18:40

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Mummylife2018 · 15/12/2018 18:40

Er...goady...Grin

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