AIBU - **Lighthearted!!**

[Gatehouse77]

So, Wednesday morning DH sets off for Paris for 3 days work. Expected back 10pm-ish on Friday. This is not unusual, he often travels abroad for work varying from day trips to a week. Mostly in Europe but sometimes further afield.

When he's away we will usually speak during the day just to check in but it's no big deal if we don't as it probably means either one of us is busy. We would speak in the evening anyway.

Yesterday we hadn't spoken during the day as I'd been at work in the afternoon and can't use my phone. Figured that we'd catch up later and he'd been busy with meetings, etc.

About 7pm I'm sitting on the loo (sorry!) when DH appears! (Not in the bathroom )
I'm like, "What the hell??" He's "I'm home early from work!".

Now, here's the AIBU.

I don't see coming back from ANOTHER COUNTRY as being home from work early! Anywhere in the UK, yes. A day trip, yes.
He doesn't see a difference at all and thinks I'm mad! Am I???

I’m sorry but you sound very odd.

Yeah I'd want to know if he was coming back a day early.

he's correct, he's home from work early.

I don't understand, what is your AIBU?
Are you saying he should have phoned you, when you wouldn't have answered anyway because no mobiles at work?

How is this anything other than a nice surprise?

Jesus people really get worked up about ridiculous things. Why are you mad!?

Not sure what you’re asking... I would have freaked out if my partner came home a day earlier than expected without telling me though, would have assumed he was an intruder! Is that what you’re saying?

So your AIBU is really “AIBU to want my DH to inform me that he’s returning a day earlier than expected from a trip”

In which case the answer is “no”. DH travels a lot and we have a different routine if he’s away, I’d want to know if he was returning early.

If your AIBU is “I’m annoyed at the words that DH used when he surprised me by coming back from a trip early” then you need to give yourself a little head wobble because it’s inconsequential.

YABU but I completely agree with you. DH would never do this as he knows it would put me in a mood. I can't help it I just can't deal with things changing like that without knowing about it. I know IABU when I do it.

I’m sorry but you sound very odd

What else is there to say except this?

It's says 'lighthearted' why do people think she's being serious or isn't happy he's home?

YANBU OP, I get what you mean, while he is technically correct, I think he's stretching the definition of 'coming home early' given it's from another country and also a whole day early!

Him coming home early might be a nice surprise, but it would frighten me to death if I was on the loo and I heard someone come in the house.

TBH, he should have told the OP that the plans had changed and he was coming home early.

If it was our house, he wouldn’t have been able to get in anyway as we have latches on our doors and they're always on when we're in the house unless one of us is in and one of us is out but coming home soon - stops sneak in burglaries but you can get out without having to find the keys.

No-one was in a mood.
It's just a different perspective and I was curious as to others' views.

DS agreed with DH and that he just came home early and it didn't matter where that was from. My sister agreed with me.
I just think that coming home from another country isn't just 'home early'.

with international travel I don't think its reasonable to travel without your next of kin knowing your travel plans. in the very unlikely event of a plane crash, or fire in the Eurotunnel or whatever, you need to know instantly as soon as its on the news whether or not the incident affects you. he could easily have sent a text just saying "coming home early - see you soon". I agree his behaviour is unreasonable.

It is odd. "Home a day early" fine. Doesn't sound very natural phrasing.

Are you sure it's him?

Is he actually an alien imposer who has taken the form of your husband? He may have learnt his phrases from earth tv.

Be careful OP!

If you don't post after an hour I'll send help!! Well once I figure our who to contact for alien takeover prevention.

I think you're being U for having a problem with his choice of words... However my husband works in a similar fashion. Goes away for short trips. And when he comes home early I actually get a bit irritated. Only because I'm very introverted and I enjoy it when he's away because I get to recharge. He's extremely extroverted and likes an audience, to show off his skills (he's very artistic but also very out there. High IQ. Enjoys talking about heavy subjects and I just CBA...) So when he tips up home early without telling me it upsets my routine. Usually just before my son's off to bed so he's all hyped that daddy's home. DH wants to download on me all the details. And I had planned a bath with a glass of wine and maybe some crafty bits in the quiet with a candle. That's what would have pissed me off. Not the terminology used.

RedForShort

than you.
I did have to ask him security questions. Tricky ones like the date of birth of our children - just passed! How long we've been married - took some thinking. My maiden name - got it in one!
I then made him 'prove' himself later, if you know what I mean

Smart move. Treat him with caution until you are certain he's human.