to expect a BIT of support from dh today when ds(3) is being a complete tantrumming, screaming toddler...

[americantrish]

i told dh in email (as he's at work) that i'm frazzled and having a sh*t morning and all i really got back was "he's an active and spirited toddler", "sorry you're having a bad morning".

maybe i am being unreasonable, but on these days, i REALLY need to hear (from dh!) that i'm doing my best and i'm a good mother..

sighhh...

Am sure that you're a fab mum. Will DS have a nap at any point so you can recharge with tea and biscuits????
Can DH do bath/bedtime whilst you unwind/open the wine???
Do we need DH's Email addy so we can prompt him to come home with flowers/chocolates/diamonds etc etc

Sorry, 3, so nap unlikely - wear him out in park? (Even if swimming through mud - wellies to be sorted later by DH, perhaps???)

If your DH is anything like mine, then he probably expects you to "know" that he thinks you're a fab mother and are doing a wonderful job raising your DS, but won't verbalise it unless he's pushed.
I would sit him down tonight and just say "look, when I have these days, I don't expct you to solve it, I just want to hear.........."

I totally understand where you;re coming from!
My ds3 is driving me nuts at the mo and being 5 1/2 months pregnant doesn;t help. I must admit i settle him in front of the telly if i've no energy (like today) as we do loads when i'm back on form. I don;t feel as guilty as i used to, Us mums need a break too...

no nap today, but luckily he's off to nursery in a few minutes til 6pm, so that's something! tues and weds he doesnt have nursery, so its gonna be an extra effort to not go insane. but one day at a time i suppose..

DH gets home after ds is bathed and in bed unfortunately, so its up to me. at least a 5 hour break from ds today will help....

i'm sure dh would looooove getting emails from mumsnetters ;)

have to say swimming completely knackers out my ds 3....
he'll sleep then!

waynettaslob: oh i think my dh does expect me to know it. if i push him, he'll tell me it doesn't mean anything since i'm basically 'asking' him to reassure me i'm doing a good job. sigh

nods at muppetgirl swimming really tires my little one out! we'll probably go tomorrow or wednesday if i can find my swimming cap..

ohh this morning was totally a Cbeebies morning! :I i am working on not feeling so guilty... i'd rather him sit in front of the TV for a long time than me losing my temper...

at least he's happily at nursery..and i can try to relax...

my solution is:

book a day off

go to spa

let dh look after spirited child

newgirl> i wish i could! not a chance,

do you know i keep saying that. I tell my dh 'well you look after him and see how knackered you get/how he won't listen to you/how would you occupy him all day?
Do you know what he does when i get a little time to myself?

...takes him to the bloody toyshop!!!!

I'm known for 'mummy are we going to sainsbury's again?' (said in the way only whinny 3 year olds can do) and daddy is known for 'yippeee! we're off to the toyshop'

Bloody men

...he can't spend an entire day in the toyshop...just mke sure when they get back you are OUT!! Then when your dc is bored or overstimulated form playing with all the toys it will be your dh's job to deal with the 'spirited toddler'...

why not though? me and my friend did exactly that last weds and we had a great time - her dh was knackered - he said 'i dont know how you do it' - must be a good thing to do every now and then!!

muppetgirl> if i were to say that to dh, he would tell me if i didnt like looking after ds so much, to go out and get a job and he would stay home and look after ds.... sigh... at least today is a new day...

newgirl> dh wouldn't go for that idea and i'd be pushing it if i suggested it. even if he did look after ds all day, i doubt highly he'd ever say to me he doesnt know how i do it...shrug...

oh well! not much i can do besides get on with it..and hope it doesnt rain today!