To turn into a horrible cowbitch knobhead in December?

[1wokeuplikethis]

There’s still presents to buy, I’m making Xmas dinner for the family for the second year running, I don’t mind- I enjoyed it last year and didn’t kill anybody, but there’s a lot of planning: buying, prepping etc, I’ve still got to wrap everything, not written any Xmas cards and cant remember half of my neighbours names, my 3 year old is potty training, my 5 year old has something going on at school/with friends every day until Xmas, friends/family keep asking me what they can get my kids (nice to ask but I’m struggling with ideas myself!) the house needs cleaning, we’ve had an awful 3-4 weeks sleep-wise with one child or the other waking up every night.

I am a sleep deprived, stressed out, miserable ratty bitch. This is not the way I want to spend the run up to Christmas. My eldest is so excited but so unable to channel it well it comes out in a tantrumming, screaming, rude, disobedient explosion of FUCKING HELL. My husband is helping with everything and telling me he loves me constantly (I don’t know why, I am a ratty bitch, i would hate to live with me right now).

We have nice things planned over the next week or so and I desperately want to enjoy them and not be this uptight rat bitch, what can I do? I can’t just drink constantly as whilst tempting, I also have to function to be able to be that miserable busy cow/mother. I can’t wnjoy anything because I’m so tired and also constantly thinking of what I need to do next.

Is anybody else struggling with this? Or have any suggestions to stop being such a tosser and let it all go?

A good solid 10 hour sleep would do wonders but that simply isn’t happening!

Yes. Just drop stuff. Don't do cards. Don't worry about remembering your neighbours' names. Can you cancel any social engagements or would that stress you out more? Instruct people to bring things for the big day, unless delegating would Stress you out?

It sounds like the big difference from last year is the sleep, is that right? Since last year you didn't mind it and this year it all seems too much. What would help with the sleep - can you and your partner sleep in shifts for a while like when you had a newborn? Mattress on the floor by your bed so your DC can sleep in but not in the same bed? Bedshare from the beginning of the night so you're not playing musical beds at 3am?

Basically forget about good sleep habits until after Christmas - do whatever gets most people the most sleep and then start sleep discipline after new year ("new year new rules" etc with a sticker chart and everything).

Oh you've made me feel so much better. I can't offer one single piece of advice I'm afraid but I can't tell you how nice it is to hear that I'm not the only one. I seem to be surrounded by smug-faced tinkly laughing "oh-yes-all-organised" types at the moment. They are bringing out a rage in me that I didn't even know was there!

We don't even have a tree up yet. We have decorated a pot plant and to be honest it will probably become "the tree". And the sum total of Christmas cheer has been making a gingerbread house from an Ikea kit! The bonus of this low key approach is the DCs are very laid back about the whole thing this year, it's great.

Count the amount of gifts you have to wrap, divide by the amount of evenings left until xmas then wrap that many a night so it's not a last minute rush. Forget cards - waste of time and paper and noone really notices or cares. Can you put off potty training until January? Do your kids need to do so much on the lead up? Sounds overwhelming to be honest which may be why the tantrums happen. Have some calm days at home doing nothing and maybe you can get some cleaning done then.

Xiaoxiong Thank you, they are really good suggestions but they don’t want to come in with us, it’s been nightmares, coughs, bed-wetting. It’s in and out stuff really but I struggle getting back to sleep. The sleep has been so disturbed I am finding it hard to get to sleep anyway because I’m expecting to get woken up any moment so what’s the point.

Last year two really big emotional things happened very close to Christmas and I think I relished having something to distract myself with. This year it seems a bit of a grind. I don’t feel Christmassy, or excited or relaxed, I feel sort of empty which is really shit. I am purely putting it down to the fact there’s so much to do. I am hoping that by Xmas eve I will unwind a bit. I’ve said to my husband I want everything done by then, no wrapping or shopping, just peeling whatever veg needs doing and enjoying the activities we have lined up with the kids.

God I sound so desperate to be enjoying everything, maybe that’s the problem. Maybe I should stop tying to pressure myself to enjoy everything and let it come when it comes, if it comes.

I’m a total ratty bitch at the moment due to the stress of making our Christmas magical. It probably would be better with less magic and less ratty bitch, and it makes me even more ratty to realise I’m actually making it all worse. I’ve planned some beautiful festive activities which I know I’ll spoil by being a bitch and won’t enjoy at all. I’ll probably jump down my husbands throat and tell him he ruined it. I’ve already accused him this evening of not sharing the mental load.

Im desperately trying to hide my ratty bitch side at the moment and be festive but its hard!

Suggestions would be:

• Ditch the xmas cards
• Get 2 Argos catalogues and have your kids circle the stuff they like, take photos of the pages and send to relatives asking for ideas
• Buy as much of the xmas food 'pre-done' as you can. Pouch of just heat gravy, fancy carrots in honey glaze in the foil tray, that sort of stuff.
• Trip to The Works or poundshop foe xmas activ ity books/sets to keep the kids occupied, multitask by getting them the 'make your own xmas placemat' type activities and they can be used to decorate the table and give your relatives something to ohhh and ahhh over with the kids while you're busy.

Oh also, does your DD need to potty train now? It might be better to wait till after xmas when you can put more time into it and shes feeling better from her cold.

Yes the potty training is a stupid idea. I will ditch the cards.

I am excellent at making more unnecessary jobs for myself (for example I spent a long and stressful 2hrs today writing letters to the kids from Father Christmas and posting them. My 3 year old will probably eat it, why am I being such a knob?) I want to make the dinner from scratch, I don’t know why, my family are all really nice and polite and I could serve beans on toast and they’d tell me it was wonderful.

Love the idea of the placemats. And the Argos catalogue. I’ve been ‘forgetting’ and actually, forgetting to reply to the what shall we get messages which is making me more stressed.

I get like this before anything big; holidays, operations, long journeys. I’m a pain in the arse.

Kolo I absolutely relate to you.
If things were a bit more half arsed i would probably be a lot more jolly. But I put enormous pressure on myself as I think I won’t be able to fully relax unless everything is done to perfection. Like I’d be staring at the dust on the telly stand while the kdis are opening presents. Ugh when did I get so anal.